Thanks for all the support from you guys and gals during a very 'dark' week for me last week. Still hovering around in S.A.D. and depression, but just getting up every morning, putting my feet on the ground and trying to do the next right thing. Brush teeth, go to work, sleep..... I did get to a meeting yesterday morning, and then gave myself the leeway to sleep a lot and recuperate from a very long work week.
I definitely have SOMETHING going on... nervous twitches here and there, body pain, headaches. My hubby is extremely supportive of me seeing the doctor very soon about all this, and it is good to have his encouragement.
In the midst of all this, I got the best review at work that I could ever have imagined!! Imagine ME, a woman who could not get her shit together if her life depended on it before, SHOWING UP every day and giving it my best, IN SPITE OF my internal struggles. That is one of the promises coming true, for sure. "Our whole attitude and outlook on life will change". I think to myself in the morning, instead of "ugh, how can I get out of this...", NOW- "Wow, no matter how low I feel, I am darn lucky to be sober and have a job.... off to celebrate this blessing." And then yesterday morning, "I am doing NOTHING today... the least I can do is get to a meeting... I have transportation and that is a blessing, and here I go, off to a meeting."
Al Anon calls this stuff "Acting As If". I call it keeping my recovery motor running even when I want to stall out. It is good to have encouraging people around me leading me through this depression and on to better things.
Thanks, guys.
Love, Joni
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~Your Higher Power has not given you a longing to do that which you have no ability to do.
Sorry to hear you are still feeling down and hope you get to the doctor soon. I am so glad to hear your husband is being supportive, that is priceless. I too have been feeling down, and up, and upside down - and pretty much a mess. But, with being newly sober, a toxic relationship ending, and still having to maintain - I am just letting it happen. My friends and family have been very supportive.
And congrats on the review!! That is so fantastic! Feels good, huh? My job has been a miracle. For 9 years I worked for a tyrant. When it came time to leave my hard work for him paid off and someone scooped me right up, no resume needed, doubled my salary, and they have been nice to me EVERYDAY for 3.5 years. I am still stunned. They like me and think I am doing a good job.
I hope you feel better soon. Big hugs.
tlc
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__________________ "By swallowing evil words unsaid, no one has ever harmed his stomach." ~Winston Churchill
Deardear Jonijoni xx I'm glad you're feeling supported & you're vigilantly monitoring how you are. That's well managing selfcare & well done with your achievements at work despite how you're feeling. I can see you're a True Pro ;) I wanna remind you re Yoga cuz I was suffering & all wierded out with PMT this week. It 'coincided' with a lapse in my connection with my HP. I was out there emotionally in the sticks after doing 4&5 then struggling with 6&7..
I realised I was taking the God bit too literally & Carl reminded me only yesterday what My Own Understanding of the G word was & for me is LOVE!!!!!!! This clicked & has helped me surrender my everything again, good & bad, to 6&7 tho to consolidate this I have to write out a defining list of my Fears & an extensive list of my Gratitudes & then surrender them all. Emphasis on this is for me to trust that my HP will return to me what is meant for me & in that I do trust cuz I love LOVE.
Anyways, the point of my reply is to share that I remembered this is a spiritual, mental & physical disease which I treated with a fantastic Yoga session on Friday & My Gosh did that sort me out & renergise a kick start to my system. We have to treat our condition on all levels. Have you treated yourself to your Yoga yet? I'm going to do it at least once or twice a week. It is following my bliss & I deserve it.. So do you! ;) Recovery LOVE, Danielle xxx
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Progress not perfection.. & Practice makes Progress!
Wow, Danielle, forgot about Yoga. I do need a good stretch, and a boost to the lymphatic system, not to mention the "grounding". That's it, I have set a reminder for myself to get online and find a good Yoga video after work this afternoon to get me started. Thanks for the tip!
tlcate, "just letting it happen"... that is so profound, and so real. I am no longer trying to control a lot in my life.... works out better that way, eh?
Take care you two, am off to try to make lemonade for another day. :o)
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~Your Higher Power has not given you a longing to do that which you have no ability to do.
Hi all! The miracles are endless if we let them happen! Great job on the review Joni! We really arent as bad as we thought we were huh!? This weather is enough to drive me crazy too. Keep reaching out, hanging in and do that yoga girl!!!!!
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"We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have. "
