Please give me your input... I'm new to this and think I might need help, but too scared to admit it. Any help or support you could give me would be greatly appreciated. I'm so tired of beating myself up. I made a list tonight of the things that I do/think about and was hoping someone would help me determine if I need help...if I do need help, what and where should I go?
1) I can't wait to get out of work so I can drink 2) Think about drinking all day, beat myself up about wanting to drink 3) Rotate the places that I buy alcohol from because I don't want them to recoginze me and think I'm an alcoholic 4) Drink at home before I go out with friends so they dont think I drink too much (plus, I'm more relaxed and outgoing when I have a buzz) 5) Eat as little (if at all) so I can catch the best buzz 6) Don't like making friends with people that don't drink 7) Can't sleep unless I'm drunk 8) Forget conversations I had when I was drinking
Am I an alcoholic? Do I need help? Can I do this on my own? I'm scared and sad and tired.
Hi sn, and welcome to the forum. I can also relate, as Doll did, to your list of behaviours. I also am an alcoholic. As Doll said, only you can ultimately decide that you are an alcoholic. Step one of this program is to admit that we have become powerless over alcohol (that it is controlling us, instead of the other way around) and that our lives have become unmanageable because of alcohol.
Since you have access to the internet, check out www.aa.org . You will find a lot of resources that may help you, including a link to the "Big Book" which will give you a lot of insight into the illness of alcoholism.
Meanwhile, please don't hesitate to come back to this board any time. You will find a warm welcome from people who want to help.
-Dan, an alcoholic in the Dakota's.
-- Edited by Sick of being sick at 22:51, 2008-11-05
Welcome to MIP. Only you can really know if you are an alcoholic or not. But, why not try out a few meetings and see what you make of them to help you decide?
I could add to your list and I did/felt just the way you do when I was drinking. In the end, I decided to give AA a try as I couldn't see that I had anything to lose. That was three years ago and it was the best decision that I ever made.
Please keep posting and letting us know how things go for you, won't you? Please know that you're not alone. We're all here for you.
Take care,
Carol
__________________
Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~Dr. Seuss
Congratulations sn for reaching out and asking questions . A very big first step toward some liberation for sure !! One of the many ( and there are many ) great things about AA is that Im not alone. No matter what it is, how bad or how good, or whatever ... there is sombody in the rooms that knows how I feel and can relate.
Only I could pronounce myself alcoholic. Regardless of whether or not many ppl I know told me that I was before I realized it. Its a big step to admit that Im powerless over something. But indeed I had to cuz I was dying, the booze was in fact killing me.
Alcoholics Anonymous is not the only way to get and stay sober. But it is the only way that I have found that works for me . And .. it works for millions of other alcoholics as well.
As has already been mentioned ... try going to a few AA meetings, sit and listen, get our text book , and read at least the first 164 pages. If you dont find yourself in there ,chances are you may not be alcoholic. If you do find yourself on the pages ... and decide you want this way of life then the road is endless, the possibilities and opportunities that will open up for you are phenominal !!
AA is a wonderful program. A life changing, spiritual in nature, way of life. With alot of great ppl willing to help anyone who comes thru the doors.
Why not give yourself the help you deserve, you are most definately worth it.
What others have said. Only you can prevent forest fires.
No,....er ...only you can determine for yourself if you have a drinking problem. And, one only needs a smidgin' of a desire to look at your drinkin' to try out a meeting or 2. I would sugest a couple at the least cuz' anytime anyone, boozer or otherwise, tries something completely new......it feels "fake" and unfitting. My self being a geetar player for too long, when ever I learn something new, it sucks going through that learning process. Still! after 23 years or so of pickin'. Just some extra food for thought. When I was drinking full tilt, I could polish of a 12 pack, and a pint of whisky and althoigh I would be pretty buzzed, I could still be conscious and maybe even blurt out a song or 2 with screwin' up. But if In had a twin that didn't drink, same age, hieght, body weight, air between the ears, and he drank as much as I do in one night? It could pissibly kill him from alcohol poisoning. Keep in mind that I'm talkin' a moderate tolorance of a unhealthy 20 year old.
"A pathological relationship (love to/have to) to a mood altering substance or event, that has life damaging consequences". Imo all of the symptoms that you mentioned are indicative of a serious problem and are mentioned in detail in the book "Alcoholics Anonymous" which you can read here.
I would suggest that you call the AA phone number in your phone book, which is the local intergroup office staffed by recovering alcoholics. They can answer your questions, tell you where meetings are (ask for a speakers meeting on a weekend eve), and can even arrange for one or two women to take you to a meeting so that you won't have to go alone. I highly recommend that. Plan on going to at least 3 meetings so that you can see what it's like. The meetings are full of people just like you and just like the people that you liked to drink with only they have found a way to enjoy life without alcohol as they realized that they just can't drink safely any longer. Enjoy your new journey.