"Things" have settled down over the last few weeks. My son was found "not guilty". He (we both) was blessed that an AA who's an attorney offered up his services no charge. And we found out for a mere $200.00usd his record can be wiped clean. He just finished his 3rd week of Adult Ed, working on his GED. He's working and he broke up with that 'toxic' girlfriend! Instead of me being happy and just 'being' I find myself waiting for the other shoe to drop! I can find no serenity about any of it, for the moment......
I sold my commercial property! Woo hoo! Didn't get my asking price, but I should be happy none the less to be rid of that burden. What a blessing that someone was finally able to get a bank to finance during this recession America is in. Instead my thoughts go to the "what if's" (what if I held out a little longer, I could have gotten my asking price?) It's been on the market for 2 years! Geesh...I keep telling myself let it go all ready!!!
My hours at work have been cut due to the global economic crisis, but my paycheck is still plenty to cover my bills and continue to live the life I am accustomed to with only haveing to make a few adjustments. I made the mistake of looking at my retirement and seeing what I've lost in the stock market was a HUGE OUCH! Instead of being in financial fear I should be happy that I have a job & my home is not in foreclosure like so many others around here......
My insurance has finally approved PT and massage therapy and it seems to be helping. I see a new doctor on the 21st. He specializes in pain management without the use of pharmiceuticals. I should be looking forward to this, but thinking 'probably another quack!!!' as I've seen dozens with no end in sight.....
Oh! I have met the pefect man! On paper anyway! He's the C.O.O. of our local hospital, very nice & quite handsome. We're having lunch on Tuesday and I should be happy & excited but instead I find myself wondering what a man like that sees in a woman like me! Those "less than, worthless" feelings are still a big part of me, I suppose......
With all of this, I'm wondering what part of my program needs tweaking. Do I need to revisit step 4? Or step 8? or both? as I am working Step 10 diligently and it doesn't feel enough.
Anyway, that's my progress or lack of , for today......
Let the ES&H flow freely......
Love you all........(((hugs))))
~ Jen
__________________
Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass... It's about learning to dance in the rain.
Jen I want to thank you soooo much for this post. Although you are in some pain and confusion it made me feel a little relieved to know that even with the quality and quantity of sobriety you have you still have those "days". Remindes me we are all human. I pray you feel more peace and serenity. I know about waiting for that other shoe to drop. I pray you find peace from that. As sometimes we look so hard at it we end up throwing the other shoe threw a window!! LOL!!! Love you and your honesty, Allison
Hi Doll Maybe make up your gratitude list with out the "BUTS">>>>>>>>>
Life sounds great and if you take out the negatives things sound great... Experiment here.......
MIP Old Timer
Posts: 1860 Date: 8:17 AM, 10/11/08
Life is good.... I SHOULD be happy
"Things" have settled down over the last few weeks. My son was found "not guilty". He (we both) was blessed that an AA who's an attorney offered up his services no charge. And we found out for a mere $200.00usd his record can be wiped clean. He just finished his 3rd week of Adult Ed, working on his GED. He's working and he broke up with that 'toxic' girlfriend!
I sold my commercial property! Woo hoo! . What a blessing that someone was finally able to get a bank to finance during this recession America is in.
My hours at work have been cut due to the global economic crisis, but my paycheck is still plenty to cover my bills and continue to live the life I am accustomed to with only haveing to make a few adjustments. happy that I have a job & my home is not in foreclosure like so many others around here......
My insurance has finally approved PT and massage therapy and it seems to be helping. I see a new doctor on the 21st. He specializes in pain management without the use of pharmiceuticals.
Oh! I have met the pefect man! On paper anyway! He's the C.O.O. of our local hospital, very nice & quite handsome. We're having lunch on Tuesday
I need to revisit step 4? Or step 8? or both? as I am working Step 10 diligently
Anyway, that's my progress or lack of , for today......
Looks better huh!!! Sorry to hack up your post but was kinda fun looking at how well your actually doing!!!!! lol
__________________
"We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have. "
I needed to hear that... "take out the butts".... awesome, and thanks for adding that, Lani!
Doll, sounds like the things bothering you most right now are the things you don't KNOW. You don't KNOW what tomorrow holds for your son. Don't KNOW if the stock market is going to go back up (so hold on to those investments!). Don't KNOW if you might have gotten more for the property later on. Don't KNOW about this new fellow and what he is really thinking inside....
Guess what? (and I need to hear this most of all right now...) WE ARE MISSING OUT ON CELEBRATING a lot in life because of the I Don't Know's and the What If's.....
Stay in Today. Be satisfied with what you ARE aware of today. Live in the moment. Don't ruin the moment by wandering into tomorrow. and like I said, I have found my answer today by taking my own advice passed on to me, which I just shared with you..... gotta love this program....
((((hugs))))
__________________
~Your Higher Power has not given you a longing to do that which you have no ability to do.
I feel certain it was not your intent, but (BUT) now I feel completely patronized!!!!
My thought when I read your 'hack job' was " gee, if it were only that easy!" Well, it's not. I am grateful, I'm very grateful. I was having trouble figureing out why I still continue to feel uneasy. My life is good today, I shouldn't be feeling this.... So, I went to a meeting and I learned it's could be as simple as I'm just not used to feeling serene! What I was told - practice, practice, practice........
__________________
Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass... It's about learning to dance in the rain.
It was lani's hack job that did the patronizing........I realize what she was saying, but some days it's just not that easy for me. Simple? Yes. Easy? No! I can't seem to get past 'I'm sober now, I should be great!"
I have worked really hard at life on life's terms. Not drinking over stuff is a no nevermind these days. Wouldn't even consider a drink. Of course my mind is out to get my ass, so I have to become wrangled and tangled in something I suppose.......
I'm working really hard on action following thought........
Thanks for the input. I have plenty of work ahead.
I, too, love you all. And being able to post the tiniest of dilemas is soooo awesome.
Thank you.
__________________
Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass... It's about learning to dance in the rain.
"We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have. "
Thanks, lani
(((hugaroonies))))
__________________
Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass... It's about learning to dance in the rain.
Hey girls It is great to be able to look at things from anothers point of view. Didnt mean to hurt your feelings if I did! Never would I try and do that! Its great that we can vent and scream and kick and then hear from someone else how they dealt with the daily shit!!!!! I keep hearing these awful things that happened to others and shouldnt but, compare myself to them. Did my kid and husband die all in the same day, did I lose my job, my house???? Things, in my perspective, could be a whole lot worse. Doesnt mean we cant or shouldnt share where we are but it sure changes my take on things!
Have a great sunday! Sun is shining and Im out of laundry soap...so guess I cant do it today!!!! lol
__________________
"We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have. "
