Are you willing to accept the change that will take place when you get sober? That was our topic last night at the A.A. meeting. It made me think back when i first got sober. It helped me remember where I was when I first came into the program. Was I ready for a change in my life style and new friends I would meet at the meetings upon on becoming sober? Being stubborn and bull headed I didn't think anyone or anything could change me and my attutides. And most important I didn't think I was going to change by going to meetings and meeting interesting people with GOOD soberiety. But like all of us that stick around long enought the change takes place and we can not tell a necwomer when and where it happens, is just does. Accepting changes that comes with being sober is a great feeling. Being a newcomer or have been around the meetings for awhile makes no difference. ARE YOU READY TO CHANGE? (That's the question and only you can answer it, and you must be honest with yourself.) Think about it, are you being honest?
I recall thinking I didn't need to change anything. I mean after all I'm not drinking, I'm going to meetings, I'm just fine.
YEA, RIGHT!
Just like an archaeologist with his little hammer and chisel and paint brush exposing the bones of an ancient beast with great patience does, AA got to me. Chipping away and brushing aside tiny little pieces at a time exposing me to me.
I think for me it wasn't so much as was I ready for it, it just happened slowly over a period of time. Maybe that's why my first few years were so rough, it was my arrogance to "prove" I was OK that didn't let me drink but at the same time slowed my AA growth.
I guess that once AA "exposed the bones", so to speak, is when I realized the "change" had taken place.
I'm living proof that if one sticks around AA long enough, despite anything else, it will get you!
Have a great sober day Bruce
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Until I know what I'm doing, I'll ask questions from someone who has what I want. If I don't like the answer, it's probably the one I need!
I got to AA via a loved one who thought I needed some help with my drinking.... Hmmm....for a long time I knew something was askew, but an alcoholic? No way. Not me! In the beginning I was only willing to change what was necessary to satisfy that loved one for a short period of time.
So, I kept 'coming back' and for a couple of years I really didn't get the program. I relapsed many times. But I still kept coming back. Eventually, somewhere along the way, the program got me! I and others started to notice the change. I started to realize by putting a few 24 hours of abstinence together something was happening, I was changing. And changing for the better.
Today, I am willing. Today, I am willing to go to any length because I never want to be that broken, less-than, guilt ridden, so sick of ME gal who didn't know one damned thing about herself ....
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Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass... It's about learning to dance in the rain.
