We will know what we need to know, when we need to know that. We don't have to feel badly about taking our own time to reach our insights. We don't have to force insight or awareness before it's time.
Yes! Maybe the whole world saw a particular truth in our life, and we denied it - until we were ready to deal with it. That is our business, and our right! Our process is our own, and we will discover our truths at the right time, when we are ready, when the learning experience is complete.
The most growth-producing concept we can develop for others and ourselves is to allow ourselves to have our own process. We can give and receive support and encouragement while we go through this process. We can listen to others and say what we think. We can set boundaries and take care of ourselves, when needed. But we still give others and ourselves the right to grow at our own pace, without judgment, and with much trust that all is well and is on schedule.
When we are ready, when the time is right, and when our Higher Power is ready - we will know what we need to know.
Today, I will let myself and others have our own pace and time schedule for growth and change. I will trust that I will be empowered with insights and the tools for dealing with these insights, at the right time.
From The Language of Letting Go
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Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~Dr. Seuss
Thank you - this made me cry. It is so strange - this thing called life. I had just posted what is below on the Al-Anon forum. Then I clicked over here and what you posted is the first thing I read. This process of recovery is so . . . amazing.
--start--
I think it is funny how you can open your eyes and already be in a mood. I opened mine this morning and just felt an emptiness. Not missing him (thank goodness), but a mourning for what I have lost. I put my feet on the floor - and said to myself "I am not going to have this kind of day" - but my feelings are running on their own no matter what I tell them.
So I have spent the morning thinking about what I have lost - and I realize it was just dreams - a complete fantasy. He spoke so much about being the person I needed him to be, the person he used to be, his words convinced me he could clearly see what I needed, but his actions were the complete opposite. I clung to those promises and the dreams of finally having the relationship I wanted my whole life - the dreams of finally having a supportive, loving partner. He was anything but.
Then the realization came that I have had that relationship in the past and I blew it. My ex-husband was so loving and supportive (in actions, not words) - he cherished me - was not an alcoholic and was centered, calm, and so gentle. We enjoyed each other, had fun, there was no mistrust or lying. He had a situation with his ex and their child that drove me crazy - I tried to control it, got so angry, and let it consume me. And now I realize it was none of my business and it led to our divorce. I have held on to "he was wrong" for years - and now I see what I lost. I don't want him back in my life, it is past, but now that I see my part - I am devestated at what I ruined and how I hurt him. He is unable to move on and find a loving, committed relationship because he "has been hurt so much in the past". I am very ready to make amends to him - I want to apologize to him with all my heart and soul - and I hope he can find peace and love.
So, though I am feeling melancholy and was upset about it at first - I am realizing I am right where I need to be. I am in it, appreciating the gifts it is giving me, and not wallowing - but really examining myself - identifying my behaviors in potentially healthy relationship vs. those in a completely horrible relationship. If I had given my marriage a percentage of the effort I gave this abusive one - I think it would have been until death do us part. Now that I have the awareness, I need to learn the tools to avoid repeating these mistakes in the future.
Thanks for listening.
--end--
tlc
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__________________ "By swallowing evil words unsaid, no one has ever harmed his stomach." ~Winston Churchill
