Hi all, I'm new here, on day 12 no wine and finding it very hard. Life without alcohol is dull, unrewarding and I hate myself for feeling this way. I wish I knew why I'm doing this beyond to satisfy everyone else, but I don't want to be a middle aged lush. Problem is, I don't know what I do want to be....Any advice? Annie
Welcome to MIP. I do hope that you'll stay around.
Congrats on day 12 with no wine. You're doing really well. It isn't easy at the beginning, but it does get easier and is vastly better than the alternative.
Try checking out a few AA meetings in your area. They help me enormously and I gain so much strength and encouragement from folk who have been exactly where I am/was. For me, I couldn't stay sober without my meetings. And, the people that I have met through the fellowship have become my good friends.
In the early days of my sobriety I kept myself as busy as possible and got to as many meetings as I could. I would go for walks or bake cakes for my neighbors - anything to help to keep me sober. And, now, my life is anything but dull and unrewarding. I have choices about what I can and cannot do that I never had when I was drinking.
Please keep posting and letting us know how things go for you, won't you?
Take care,
Carol
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Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~Dr. Seuss
Get to a meeting. It will really help you. I stayed clean my first three weeks without meetings and now I don't know why I put myself through it alone.
A lot of people in meetings talk about their love of drama and chaos. It is hard to overcome that, but if "everyone" else is telling you they would like you to be sober, you may need to ask yourself how much damage you are doing.
If you can find a women's meeting in your area, go for it. I really recommend going to at least one of those a week, and to other coed meetings as much as possible.
And congrats! 12 days is great! --Jules
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even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you --Psalm 139
Hello Annie! Congrats on 12 days! That is great! Now try to find some meetings and get to them! You will find you are not alone! I personally dont miss the drama of being hungover for work, making an ass out of myself at parties or school activities, worrying if the cops are going to pull me over, fighting with my hubby, embarrassing my kids...the list could go on! I found that was what was dull about me!!
Hang in there, it does get better!
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"We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have. "
Welcome...and find a meeting. I tried to do this on my own for a while and learned that my alcoholic mind is out to kill me. I can convince myself of ANYTHING and justify my actions.
Sobriety is what I make of it, and life is anything but boring today, but it took a bit of time for me to realize that.
thankyou. Day 13. Meeting on day 16 in my area. One question though. Am I never going to have a drink again? I'm going to a party tonight where people will be drinking, and some not. Would it hurt to have a couple of glasses of wine?
If you can get a big book please read the Drs opinion...there is a paragraph which talks about the comfort and ease we experience AT ONCE by taking a few drinks, drinks which we see others taking with impunity. It goes on to describe what happens to alcoholics when we drink. For real alcoholics, we can never safely drink in any amount. It just never seems to work.
just got home, didn't drink. Still feel like one. I'm really not sure why I'm doing this. I feel depressed and bored. Why can't I just go live in a shed and drink? I hate it when I don't drink because I constantly wonder about the meaning of life. Maybe there's wine in heaven. Hopefully there's freedom from wanting it. Thanks anyways.
Depressed and bored are normal feelings at first. Why don't you hit a book store or the library and spend some time in the recovery/self help area? There is a lot of great literature out there that can really help you. Also, the Big Book is a life saver.
Do you have insurance for mental health? I see a counselor through my insurance once a week (and believe me, I was NOT a believer in that for past 38 years). It really helps me. AA is great for many things, but sometimes you need a dedicated professional.
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even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you --Psalm 139
