Well, I'm on day 19 right now. I'll be off too see my Doctor in a few hours. I would have to say this is definitely anything but easy, but no one told me that it was going to be : ) Alcohol is on my mind 24 hours a day in some way or another. If it isn't about drinking, it's about my mistakes, or feeling guily for what I have recently put my parents through. But very very VERY slowly I feel the pressure and stress coming off.
I still have that empty feeling though.
It's kind of weird. I had dated a guy for about 2 years. Then a little over a year ago I decided to end it. I just felt like things had happened in the relationship that I was not going to be able to get over and there is just no purpose in bringing it up over and over again. It was stressing me out. Since then I have been only friends with him. I do not have any feelings towards him in that way and couldn't even imagine being in a relationship again. Since then, he has always kept in contact with me, which doesn't bother me. Anyway, after that breakup I was 99% happy being alone and spending time alone. It was kind of like a new life.
After getting out of in-patient, that has all changed. I worry all the time about getting married and starting a family before I get much older. It's crazy! I was never like that before. I just don't want those feelings to interupt my sobriety. And to be honest, I'm not sure why I have those feelings all of the sudden anyways.
Anyway, for the most part things are going okay. I just wish I could get excited about things once in awhile. And, I'm not sure who had asked me, but I am going to multiple meetings per week. I always go on Tuesdays and this past Sunday I found a VERY small group (about 8 people) that was absolutely great. Each evening I either go to a meeting, have counseling, or work the evening shift. So I think I am doing okay as far as that goes. Thanks again for all the advice. This site has been quite a blessing. A huge supplement to go along with the meetings.
My therapist told me to expect to feel all kinds of emotions because I spent so many years stuffing them and denying them with chemicals. In the words of another friend: You buried your pain, but you buried it alive. It will keep coming back. (I sometimes get this mental image of my pain being like Carrie, with the hand coming up out of the grave dirt... but hey I already knew I was nuts!).
Sadly it appears to be part of the process, at least for me. Keep going to meetings and working things through. You will get there!
Peace,
Jules
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even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you --Psalm 139
Wooohooo is right! Keep up the good work. You will find joy in just being you, the real you, soon enough! I have found making new friends and being active with them outside the rooms brings alot of great feelings! You sound great and good things will come to you soon!
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"We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have. "
And, I'm not sure who had asked me, but I am going to multiple meetings per week. I always go on Tuesdays and this past Sunday I found a VERY small group (about 8 people) that was absolutely great. Each evening I either go to a meeting, have counseling, or work the evening shift. So I think I am doing okay as far as that goes. Thanks again for all the advice. This site has been quite a blessing. A huge supplement to go along with the meetings.
Congrats on 19 days!!! You put "think" in italics, which I take as an indication of openmindedness, one of the three key ingredients of sobriety (honesty and willingness being the other two). You may have heard the long-standing suggestion to newcomers to go to "90 meetings in 90 days." This is extremely important, particularly in early recovery when we are experiencing the "blahs" of a new life without alcohol. And, even after we have been sober quite a while, when we find ourselves off-center for whatever reason, it's a very good thing to return to the basics of a meeting every day for at least a month or so.
So, my suggestion to you: make a meeting each day (whether in the morning, afternoon or evening) for at least the next two months. It does and will get better. Please keep coming back!!!
i can imagine you have meetings books over there like we do in australia, have a good scan thru it you may prefer a womens only meeting which will be listed some where.
Hi and well done on 19 days. Keep up the good work.
Im 10 months tomorrow and my emotions and feelings have just started to re appear and I find myself sobbing for no apparent reason.
Like you, I was in a relationship up until 2 years ago and it ended amicably, we still saw each other and he did bits of jobs for me. I found out recently that he is in another relationship and broke my heart. Silly really because when we were together I didnt really give a stuff.
Keep posting and letting us know how you are doing.
