MY HG celebrated my birthday tonight. It was awesome on one hand and a bit uncomfortable on the other (I still suffer from ego mania with an inferiority complex). The speaker was awesome and I had the opportunity to reflect on the real blessings of being sober today so I wanted to share a portion of my "list."
No more hangovers. No more pretending I meant to fall down! No more coming to in places I don't remember being at. Having a place to call 'home." Being able to call someone with a problem (no matter how small) and knowing they really care. Having complete strangers love me until I could love myself.. Realizing that it is NOT normal to hide empty beer cans in the bottom of the trashcan, in the trunk of the car or in the box of Christmas decorations. No DUIs. Knowing that "NO" is a complete sentence. Sleeping not passing out. MIP and all of you. And 2 of the biggest blessings of sobriety for me is knowing that I am not a bad person trying to be good, that I'm someone with a disease trying to recover & that I may choose to drink again someday, but I never HAVE to. These 2 things for me is Acceptance.
Thank you all, so much for being a part of my recovery. I wouldn't have made it into the rooms at all had it not been for Phil and GammyRose repeatedly replying to every one of my posts "Get to a meeting!"
Like Deb says "Sobriety ROCKS!"
I love you all.
(((hugs)))
Jennifer
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Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass... It's about learning to dance in the rain.
Today I needed to go to a meeting....bad. But didn't. It was one of those days that I knew if I left the house, the next stop was the liquor store.
I couldn't get a hold of anyone on my call list until later in the evening....so I just stayed put and tried to stay productive. It worked. Got a call later and feel much better.
I have now learned that I can make it through most normal days just fine, with just a bit of discomfort when in slippery spots - which there were Friday and Saturday. But I made it through those to come home and sit by myself and think about the tough spot I am in right now. But when I am really hurting - I REALLY want to drink. Very hard to do....but I made it through this time - and hopefully will make it through the next. It really is amazing how you can try to talk yourself into it being OK to go drink. I just kept telling myself ... "You may drink again some day...but if you drink today it will only make the situation worse." It was seriously and hour by hour day.
I did not drink today. And that is good enough for me.
Thank you all for all of your posts. Tomorrow....a meeting.
tlc
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__________________ "By swallowing evil words unsaid, no one has ever harmed his stomach." ~Winston Churchill
Thanks doll for sharing your gratitude list with me. Its reminds me of all the good that is in my life today! Once again , very proud of you and doesnt it feel sooo good to be sober! I chuckled about the hidden beer cans! Done that!!!!
TLC-good job, and do get to a meeting. It helps us to get outside of ourselves once in a while!It does get easier and eventually that desire to drink will be lifted! I still have moments when it creeps up but the thoughts quickly vanish once I "play back the tape"!!! Best of luck!
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"We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have. "
Congrats. Jen!!! Because of the blessings you have found by sobriety, you have been a blessing to others in their own respective search. You are an inspiration and I thank you for all you have taught and given me. Wanda
