As most of you know I lost my sponsor/best friend last Oct. 10 For a year she was my main focus. We spent almost every day together. I gave her showers, took her to apts. visited often cause she was lonley. I basically lived to take care of her. This whole year has been awful. Well it dawned on me that the only way I can be happy in this world is to have someone who needs me. Someone I can help. Well I have been praying for a couple weeks for God to send me someone who needs my help. Well about 5 years ago I belonged to a Yahoo AA board and had several good friends on there. I have not been on it in probably 5 years or so. For some strange reason last night I logged in. And there she was!!! My old dear friend Jaimie. She had 10 or so years sober and was a great inspiration to me. Well she gave me her number and I called. She is in awful shape!! She cried and cried and told me how she cant stop drinking now and other personal things. Well God took over my mouth and I was able to comfort her. i love her very much. I told her i am here for her.
Easy does it girl. It's nice to be needed, but if we don't take of ourselves first, we can't care for others.
It's like when you get on an airplane. They tell you in an emergency if the oxygen mask drops, put yours on FIRST, then help your 'neighbor' put theirs on.
I'm not sure what caring for Jamie will involve (as you mentioned physically caring for your sponsor). 12th stepping is difficult in it's own right, but when one is emotionally involved it's very difficult. You stated "she can't stop drinking" and I worry that you are not on such solid ground yourself. Might be a good idea to take another recoverying alkie with you should an actual visit ensue.
The BB tells us (paraphrasing here) to lay the cards on the table and wait for them to want to play.
Just don't want to see you get hurt, again.
((((hugs)))
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Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass... It's about learning to dance in the rain.
Jen you are totally right! She lives in CA and I in VA so the only communication will be here and on the phone. Anyway, God wasnt done with me yet.,.,,,,an old friend of mine who has been sober over 10 years emailed me to let me know our friend Anne just died of throat cancer. I told her how bad I have been this year and how people are rejecting me and how lonley and scared I am. She asked me if she can call me every day,, I said YES of course! She also said she is gonna pick me up tomoorow for a great meeting, it is held in a detox so we get to see the raw truth up close.
