I was dreading running into my former temporary sponsor. The last contact I had with him was when I sent him drunken text message to telling him that I was "cured" and that I "didn't need help from him , AA or some stupid higher power" I also gave him a few suggestions of where he could shove his big book...and wouldn't you know it there he was. I felt like a knob. Surprisingly AA folks are far less harsh and judgmental towards me then I am towards myself so he just smiled and politely inquired if I had a change of heart. I squirmed like a five year old caught buried up to the elbow in the cookie jar with a face covered in crumbs. I'm sure it was amusing to watch if you were anyone else but me. I bit the bullet and apologized for my rude behavior.
Anyhoo, I'm back on the horse and ready to um, well...try to quit drinking. I'm doing the standard 90 meetings in 90 days, work the steps, keep my mouth shut and listen, wait for the miracle to happen, yadda, yadda, yadda...
*sigh*
Seriously, if you're a person with some time under your belt who's got this thing under control or if you're new with a little more sense and willpower than me, learn from my example. The only thing worse than being a drunk is being a drunk desperately trying to get sober and failing. Over and over and over.
Woo Hoo! I think you may just have gotten a bit of humility, Tips. AWESOME! One thing I've learned in AA, no matter how we feel about another member, we always want them to succeed in sobriety. Again, you're not unique. I've had to humble myself a couple 3 times to my sponsors also. If I can make it another 11 days, it will have taken me 3 years to get 1. I've learned it really does 'take what it takes."
I'm so glad you're back. If you hit a rough spot, come back and read your post.
BIG, HUGE (((hugs)))
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Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass... It's about learning to dance in the rain.
I've been criticized before for my signature but my being a flippant is my little way of thumbing my nose at alcohol, letting it know that it's not so tough and that I'm willing to flip it the bird now and then :)
Tipsy, You're doing great..... Haven't given up. That's the attitude....fall off the horse and get right back on. It's true that some things we attempt to conquer may take several skinned knees and bruised rear ends. The important thing is to keep at it. Sooooo proud of you!!!!! Glad to see you changed the pic. Is that you? Wonders never cease with sobriety...... you ARE human. (Just teasing!!!!!) And by the way.....if that is you.....not bad looking. Hang in there. Supporting you all the way!
Welcome home, Mr.Mac! Your post is so warming & fuzzy for me. I'm made up for you truly. Thanks so much for letting down those battle walls & showing us your softness inside. I love your pic & your tone. It's lovely to get to know you & to have shared with you in your trials. You really do make me laugh too. I'm sure your humour will survive the illusion shattering humility that's shining in you now. Your journey is inspiration to me too cuz deepdown, despite the trouble & strife I know the very soul of this program is good & I hope it can do for you as it does for me. Ride along in the AA boat now. It's not the end, it's the beginning & if you're anything like this alcoholic you'll experience some very special miracles that will help you stay stopped as you go. Keep your mind open & that desire not to drink strong in your heart & your HP will do the rest. Let it come. Keep coming back & doing what you're doing. Something good is happening, I'm glad you're here & that I'm with you too to see it. Happy Sober Day, Mr. Enjoy your meetings & let yourself be loved, Daniella x
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Progress not perfection.. & Practice makes Progress!
Dang...If all these posts dont show you THE LOVE, I dont know what does!!!! Way to go! You are an inspiration to alot of us!!!! Your humor keeps me laughing!!! I too like the photo!!! Very fun to see what we all look like!!!
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"We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have. "
Yo, D. I fought AA quite a while because I thought it would mean having to stop being myself.....(psssst....I was wrong!)
You'll make it. Just don't throw the whole works out the window. I didn't have to give up everything...just finally was able to give up one thing, which kinda made everything else work interestingly smoother......
ps...I even got to stay agnostic...funny that a lot of folks still haven't figured out how that can work. My HP?...other than a delicious sauce on my steak, it is also a force outside myself (of my choosing) which works for me. G.O.D.?......that is the Group Of Drunks who have helped me stay sober. My beliefs...well they are my own...sort of like "the power of the force, Luke!"....
You just gotta keep pluggin' my friend. The only way that it won't work for you is if you completely throw the works in the dumpster and walk away. Otherwise, you just keep working on what works for you until it works. (trust me)
A AA friend.
PS...as far as the moniker?....I'm just glad this isn't a sexual addiction site, or you probably would have called yourself Ballocks McSchwantz.
-- Edited by Sick of being sick at 21:07, 2008-09-12
When I read the Topic, I said to myself; Went to two meetings.
OK, I was 50% right, and happy for that.
Welcome back, look around, there's a lot of hands extended to help you get back on this wagon. You're certainly not the first, nor will you be the last, and the next hand you grab may be someone else that has fallen as well.
Got something I want to share with you, from my earlier days in AA. I used to write back then, no not books, just stuff that flowed out of me or dreams that I had. This one was a dream that started off scaring the hell out of me ... but ended well....
A Dream of Mine
At one point in my life I saw, in my past, that I was drifting down the centre of a dark "tunnel" that had no sides except blackness. Reaching out of the blackness were hundreds of hands, reaching for me, grabbing at me. I pushed them aside, yanked free of the ones that got hold. Still drifting down the blackness.
Then one day a hand grabbed me, I fought violently to get away, but the hand held. I lived in fear; the hand would not let go. It pulled me closer to the black sides that did not exist. On the shiny black walls I was shown a retched, tormented soul, my soul. I lived in shame, fear and anguish. Wanting to look at times, but not daring too. Looking at other times wishing I hadn't. In time it became easier.
I learned my torment and shame were self-inflicted, and that looking past that I saw a worthwhile soul, gentle, kind, loving, free to be playful, happy and caring. All I had to do was accept what I saw, believe in what I was, and become willing to be the truth of my SELF.
On that day, that I saw this in my past, I also saw that I was just outside such a black tunnel, with my hands reaching in. Reaching in for the souls drifting by. And if they fight free of my grip, that's OK, I remember doing the same thing, for beside me are countless others with their arms reaching into the tunnel. Someone, somewhere will get the tormented soul. Of this fact I have faith. We need each other, that's why God made more then ONE of our kind.
We seek that which we already posses, and we posses more then we can imagine. Keep seeking, the people that will be drawn to you will be either those who seek what you have found, or those who have found what you seek. To the ones who seek what to have found, show them, to the ones who wish to show you what you seek, learn from them.
There you have it, a dream of mine. For me it is the essence of AA. May your HP smile on you and your rely on you HP.
HUGGIES! Bruce
Edited because I didn't like the formatting of cut/paste
-- Edited by matay at 18:09, 2008-09-13
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Until I know what I'm doing, I'll ask questions from someone who has what I want. If I don't like the answer, it's probably the one I need!
I think you may just have gotten a bit of humility, Tips. AWESOME! One thing I've learned in AA, no matter how we feel about another member, we always want them to succeed in sobriety. Again, you're not unique. I've had to humble myself a couple 3 times to my sponsors also. If I can make it another 11 days, it will have taken me 3 years to get 1. I've learned it really does 'take what it takes." 
