Step Ten says: "Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it." It does not suggest that we ignore what is right in our life. It says we continue to take a personal inventory and keep a focus on ourselves.
When we take an inventory, we will want to look for many things. We can search out feelings that need our attention. We can look for low self-esteem creeping back in. We can look for old ways of thinking, feeling, and behaving. We can look for mistakes that need correcting.
But a critical part of our inventory can focus on what we're doing right and on all that is good around us.
Part of our codependency is an obsessive focus on what's wrong and what we might be doing wrong - real or imagined. In recovery we're learning to focus on what's right.
Look fearlessly, with a loving, positive eye. What did you do right today? Did you behave differently today than you would have a year ago? Did you reach out to someone and allow yourself to be vulnerable? You can compliment yourself for that.
Did you have a bad day but dealt effectively with it? Did you practice gratitude or acceptance? Did you take a risk, own your power, or set a boundary? Did you take responsibility for yourself in a way that you might not have before?
Did you take time for prayer or meditation? Did you trust God? Did you let someone do something for you?
Even on our worst days, we can find one thing we did right. We can find something to feel hopeful about. We can find something to look forward to. We can focus realistically on visions of what can be.
God, help me let go of my need to stay immersed in negativity. I can change the energy in my environment and myself from negative to positive. I will affirm the good until it sinks in and feels real. I will also strive to find one quality that I like about someone else who's important to me, and I will take the risk of telling him or her that.
From The Language of Letting Go
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Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~Dr. Seuss
Well thats a mouthful and something I needed to hear today!
Good thing about me: woke up today!
Bad thing: character defect shining through that Im moody and mad (PMS) and holding a big old grudge against my husband and instead of speaking my mind, nicely, I choose to hold on to my silent scorn!! I have the whole aura of negativity surrounding me and am being to stubborn to replace it with the positive! .....so there!!!
Guess its time to get on my knees, again, and just let it go! Will probably take a few hours to find that "one quality that I like" but I will trust that my HP will provide!!!haha
My sponsor always says "you can start your day over any time" Guess thats what I need to do.
So heres the beauty of sharing where we are...I do feel a little better reading something positive and sharing my feelings with someone else! Will I drink over this...No Will I pray the heck out of this ...YES!!!!
Am jumping back in bed, starting over, taking a good look at my part in all of this, getting on my knees. Even if I dont want too!!!!lol
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"We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have. "
So, I went to a meeting and made brownies...feeling a little better!!!! lol
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"We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have. "
Well Done, Lani! It's sometimes tempting to be a little envious of your progress but really there's no need as I obviously wanted to remain somewhat immature & uninitiated in the ways & joys of the program. I had no idea how short I have been selling myself. Step4 is coming along surely & nicely. I empathise with your PMT. I now log in my diary my dates & count the days as it's guaranteed I'll become emotional, irrational & insecure when I'm due on. It's very good for me to recognise these symptoms so that I know I'm not going insane. In these instances, it will be sensible for me to take time out from my partner & have some Me~time or quality Gurlfriend~time so said partner doesn't have to suffer or see me being crazy ;) Also, I notice how ratty I can be if I've not had enough sleep after working nights so an extra hour here & there to start the day over for this is a great idea too. Besides our spiritual growth we can be practical too! Happy Sober Day, Lani. Thankyou for your continuously shining example. Go Gurlfriend! Daniella x
Thankyou for this post, Qx It highlights to me how important it is to monitor my self esteem as if I let it dip I seem to become more & more selfish in trying to raise it by my self will again & this simply means I'm about to hurt someone in trying to fix me. Hopefully, remembering my gratitude & assets & surrendering whatever selfishness it is inside me that is going to stand in the way of mine & other's happinesses will be a good exercising of my program's principles. I'm still working on this. I know a thorough Step4 will mean a more effective Step10. Thanks Carol :) Daniella x
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Progress not perfection.. & Practice makes Progress!
Thanks Danielle... I posted a comment earlier but it got lost somehow!!!!! Computer must have PMS!!!!! I too try to keep a calendar so Im aware of the days Im not quite gonna be right! Have been doing well and was pretty proud of my progress! Totally lost track and boy did I pay!! Along with my family!!!! lol So, its good to share all this crazy stuff so next time, again, I'll be prepared..... You are my hero!!!!!
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"We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have. "
