To let you I'm back, and that last week was one of the longest weeks I've had in a while.
I've left a post in regards to taking my daughter to meet her real father for the first time in 16 years. She turned 16years old today.
Well lets just say some people never change and he didn't impress the kids any this past week. Also, I was able to close that chapter of my life, and well I was scared to death. I prayed the whole time i was there.
But got through it though, he wanted to get back together, I said nooo. I've changed to much and come to far, he's still in denial about our break up and put it all on me...
Anyways, my daughter met some of her relatives, at a BBQ and Sunday afternoon she spent with A fellow named Garry Robbins, he used to wrestle for the WWF and has done a couple movies. If I lived in the area, my daughter would have had a change to be in one of his movies that he's working on this week.
He also has a hand in the wildlife, helping to protect the wild life My son enjoyed himself too considering the situation last week. The father disappeared friday nite, and well didn't surprise me at all. That really hit home and well am so glad that i got away from that lifestyle.
He had no idea or didn't remember somethings he's done to me, and well I'm writin him a letter to let him know what he did and what it done to me. I feel once I've done this I' will be able to close the chapter of my life and move on.
Tina wrote:I'm writin him a letter to let him know what he did and what it done to me. I feel once I've done this I' will be able to close the chapter of my life and move on.
I'm assumeing after you write that letter you're going to dispose of it? I've done that, it helped me, but what helped me more (to close the chapter and move on) was putting that person on my 4th step and then my 8th, and then carrying out step 9.
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Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass... It's about learning to dance in the rain.
I can relate to you as the mother going through this and your daughter. My 16 year old daughter as never met her father either and I am totally fine with that. In fact, it has been a BIG blessing in my life. It has been mostly just the two of us her entire life and we are so close it is incredible. I have never bad mouthed him, just said he didn't want to be a Dad. I don't look forward to the day they meet - but I know in my heart I have raised a strong enough young woman that she will be fine and set her boundaries with him (she will need to). There was a lot of anger in my heart for many years surrounding him - it was a really hard thing to do - still is - raising a child completely alone with no emotional or financial help - but there is absolutely no anger left. He missed out. He made his choices - and he missed the most incredible person ever. He missed her first words, walking, school, boyfriends. I was there for EVERYTHING. I have no need to be angry - the loss alone is punishment enough - though he will probably never know it. And I believe our relationship would have been different - she would have been different - and not the wonderful person she is today if he was in our lives.
AND
I just met my biological father in the last 6 mos. He didn't know I was born and he is THRILLED. It is strange - even stranger that is seems to be a genetic occurance that I hope stops with me. But I was adopted ... and well it is a long, weird story. There is some relief in meeting your biological parent for the first time - do we look alike, do we act alike - what is the family history etc. I am sure she enjoyed some of it - and if things were as dysfunctional as you say - she may feel some relief he wasn't there while she was growing up. Just my guess.
If you need any help through this - as I have met both my biological parents as an adult - and dealt with a missing father of my daughter - send me a private message - I will be more than glad to lend and ear.
Good luck.
tlc
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__________________ "By swallowing evil words unsaid, no one has ever harmed his stomach." ~Winston Churchill
