Hey y'all, new here, 18 nights sober, since I was a night drinker. I'm hanging in there. Didn't drink growing up. Drank rarely at parties, always the designated driver and was happy to do so. I guess I started drinking more about 1998. Had been taking care of special needs twin since they were 6yrs old then one of them suddenly passed away. (I'm a nurse) I was out of town and felt like if I had been there.... So drinking helped the sleeping, but I dont wantto use that as an excuse, I think I would have probable found another reason. Then my Dad was in a auto, train accident the following year, he died instantly. Drinking just got worse, only at night at home, usually after everyone asleep. I read the "Letter to a Alcoholic woman", I think was the name of it, on one of the pages here, hit home pretty well. So, I'm doing pretty well I think, my husband of 26 years knows, he always said he just didn't understand it, just dont buy it and you wont drink it. I think he gets it now finally. I still take care of the other twin, 16 years now. I haven't screwed up my job thank goodness, I stop. My sister was diagnosed with stage 3 lung cancer 4 days ago, 5 days after her 49th birthday. Well, that where I am right now. I know I realy have to stay stronge now, I have family depending on me. We can do this is our montra right now, my mom and sister dont know they dont need that added worry right now, you know, if Im drinking again. Im not.
welcome to this board, thanks for sharing your story, sounds like you have alot going on, have you ever considered going to an AA meeting, I find meetings are so helpful to keep me sober.
congratulations on 18 nights sober, just remember you don't have to do this alone, we are here and meetings are everywhere. If you do go to meeting you don't have to say anything, you can just go in and listen, this act, in, itself can be a very helpful first step.
sorry to hear about your sister, I'll say a prayer for healing to come.
I can relate to your loss of your Father, I lost my Mother many years ago, it was sudden as well, very tramatic and I didn't know how to deal with it, I ended up drinking and drugging alot to numb the pain, but now, I know there are healthy options, the support and frienships that I have found in AA meetings have really been wonderful.
Good to hear from you, Deb, keep checking in with us.........
It sounds as though things have been very trying for you lately and I know that when life gets tough for me I drink as well. It took me a long time to realize that though I thought it made me feel better and helped me get through my problems - the next day was a little more cloudy, I was a little more depressed, and things seemed a little worse and unmanageable. AND if I screwed up and did something stupid or embarrassing while drunk - it significantly added to my already existing problems. After many days of drinking piling up - all these things compounded for me.
I find after a stretch of not drinking the cravings are uncomfortable, but much better than the hangovers, dehydration, and depression that I could be feeling.
So good luck to you with your family. Lots of love and wishes for strength and peace when you can find it - even in little doses. Precious moments are just that....moments.
Share here as often as you wish - I find this group extremely supportive and the process of just sharing to be very helpful.
tlc
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__________________ "By swallowing evil words unsaid, no one has ever harmed his stomach." ~Winston Churchill
I am glad you came here, very glad your are opening up and sharing.
Loosing people you love is hard. Life can be hard. Facing the death of a friend or relative is difficult and it hurts. Most of us don't want to feel hurt or pain, and we contemplate taking a drink to numb ourselves to that pain. Yet, if you're like me, the consequences of taking that first drink - knowing where it's going to take me - would definitely not make anything better.
I will be thinking of you and praying for you, your sister and the special needs twin.
Love & Hugs, Stephanie
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Today I will be handling All of your problems for you. I do Not need your help. So, have a nice day. I love you. ~ GOD *****
Welcome to MIP, Jeana. It's wonderful to have you here & well done in your 18 nights (I think Dean must have had a premonition ! Here's hoping 1Day@aTime ;) Thankyou for sharing so much of your story. I hope you can find strength here & continue to do so on a daily basis. MIP helps me to stay sober along with my meetings & the 12step program I work. This all helps me to stay away from that first drink & builds up my mental defences against my drinking thoughts. Before, when I wasn't drinking, I was thinking about the next time I would be which amounted to quite an obsession. Today, that obsession is being lifted & I no longer have the compulsion to drink. I hope you may consider attending a meeting or a few. There is an amazing support in the fellowship of AA & it's a great place to make sober friends. I'm sorry to hear of your losses & the health issues of those you care for, Jeana. Prayers going up for all of you. God bless, Daniella x
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Progress not perfection.. & Practice makes Progress!
