The shy man usually finds that he has been shy without cause, and that, in practice, no one takes the slightest notice of him. --Robert Lynd
We sometimes feel self-conscious in front of others. It may be that we've just gotten braces or a new haircut and we're afraid everyone will stare at us. We stop smiling and talk with our heads bowed. Many people have worn braces and many more will. We need not be ashamed just because we feel different. By beginning to smile again we will see how many people really didn't notice our braces, or our haircuts, or anything but what they see inside us.
All we need to do is lift our heads and smile. We will be amazed to find how little even our best friends notice about the externals, the things that don't really matter. Who we are is far more noticeable and far more important than what we look like. A smile at shy times helps us accept ourselves as others do.
Yes, it's like we say at our group meetings-- if we only realized how others didn't really think about us at all, or what we are wearing, what kind of car we drive, etc. (stuff like that), we would be so relieved!
Then there are those who do not think about us, or care about us, so we are basically better off without them, and to work on ourselves, mind our own business, and take care of our side of the street--Quit wasting energy on banging our heads on a brick wall.
I went outside to think about this one, and am still thinking about it...
I was struck by the way the word self-conscious headed the reading referring to shyness. When we are God-conscious we are not inhibited...and yet when we become self-conscious we are... Maybe this is because we aren't conscious of what we have to offer... or are too self focussed on negatives (just thinking in print here...)
I can't recall being a shy person,... but I can recognise it in my Mum now. She can get really agitated and appear cranky or annoyed, or really busy when she has to meet new people. For some time, I thought she was really rude, and then she explained she is (and always has been) really, really shy.
I remember her really worrying about me when I had braces too. But I don't remember feeling phased by them or shy about people seeing them. I do remember some awful hair cuts though! But again I don't remember worrying about what others would think of them, just feeling plain unhappy because I didn't like what I saw in the mirror. I think that would be self-conscious, but is it shy?
For a long time I thought that shy people just went silent and didn't talk much, but I guess there are lots of ways of dealing with shyness. I have another friend who talks really quickly when she is feeling shy - and I was genuinely surprised by her admission, because she presents as such a friendly and approachable person.
I really don't know what makes me shy - or even if I have experienced it...and I feel a bit weird about that...because it suggests to me that I am not self conscious (conscious of my self)
I have shied away from people...for various reasons at different times...to protect myself from a 2 hour chat in the shops...or to avoid a confrontation I am not calm enough to handle reasonably...that kind of thing. But that's not actually being shy, is it? I can still look at them, or excuse myself. I guess like most things, being self conscious has both positive and negative aspects.
I came back inside grateful anyway - I figure I must have to thank my Grandma, for teaching me to smile from a young age, and encouraging me to value it...you know, I don't think she's shy either..
I have a feeling this one might rattle through my head a bit today. It's kind of tricky, because I don't think I want to be shy - but surely I have felt this? Does everyone feel shyness at some time? I imagine so... it is a human emotion. Amazing what we uncover, when we share our progress together.
Whatever, the case, I think you have this sussed Rick. Smiling definately seems to part of the solution.
But again I don't remember worrying about what others would think of them, just feeling plain unhappy because I didn't like what I saw in the mirror. I think that would be self-conscious, but is it shy?