When we first become exposed to the concept of detachment, many of us find it objectionable and questionable. We may think that detaching means we don't care. We may believe that by controlling, worrying, and trying to force things to happen, we're showing how much we care.
We may believe that controlling, worrying, and forcing will somehow affect the outcome we desire. Controlling, worrying, and forcing don't work. Even when we're right, controlling doesn't work. In some cases, controlling may prevent the outcome we want from happening.
As we practice the principle of detachment with the people in our life, we slowly begin to learn the truth. Detaching, preferably detaching with love, is a relationship behavior that works.
We learn something else too. Detachment - letting go of our need to control people - enhances all our relationships. It opens the door to the best possible outcome. It reduces our frustration level, and frees us and others to live in peace and harmony.
Detachment means we care, about others and ourselves. It frees us to make the best possible decisions. It enables us to set the boundaries we need to set with people. It allows us to have our feelings, to stop reacting and initiate a positive course of action. It encourages others to do the same.
It allows our Higher Power to step in and work.
Today, I will trust the process of detaching with love. I will understand that I am not just letting go; I am letting go and letting God. I'm loving others, but I'm loving myself too.
From The Language of Letting Go
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Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~Dr. Seuss
I really needed to read that today. I am really having problems with letting go of a past relationship. I am so sad today, because I really care about what happens to him, more that he does himself I guess.
I wanted him to get help for his addictions, but he chose not too. I relly miss him, or maybe I am just lonely. He is a good guy but he wants to continue to use. Pot and alcholoic, I don't understand if it makes him feel bad about himself why doens't he ask for help. I am afraid he is going to get wet brain, because of how much he uses. I have detached physiclly, but having difficulty in my sick brain that i have.
I feel so scared because It feels like I'll never get over him or it. The addiction is the what he's in love with and chooses to be with over me.
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With God all things are possible. God Bless all of you
Hi Sharon, I am sorry to ready of your sorrow. It is very hard to take that an ex partner who choses their addiction over us. We can go through so many different kinds of emotions that can keep us from being happy and taking care of ourselves so that we feel peace and have what we deserve in life.
Alcoholics/addicts are very selfish people when they are using. We are blind to even ourselves and do not see that it is wrong or hurting anyone. The alcohol and addictive substances become more important than anything even more important than our own well being and life.
I will tell you that he is struggling even though he may look like he is living it up but he is too sick to admit it right now. All you can do is take care of you and support him if he ever decided to get help, but even then you have to do it so you do not be the one to make sure he does what he should to get well.
Detaching is hard. But you deserve so much more than wasting your life on him and his problems. keep your chin up dear soul. Rosie
