Anybody want to discuss the steps??? I would love to read about others experiences with the Steps and how they helped you stay sober and change..... anybody into that?
Joni
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~Your Higher Power has not given you a longing to do that which you have no ability to do.
You want to start with 1? We do have a lot of newbies here. Or 8, since it's the 8th month? Or whatever you had in mind. Pick one and get it rolling, I'll be right behind you. I don't make enough step F2F's.
~ Jen
-- Edited by Doll at 23:52, 2008-08-15
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Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass... It's about learning to dance in the rain.
Admitted We were powerless over alcohol; that OUR lives had become unmanageable. -------------- Capitals, We and Our??? Because WE are not alone. If I admitted it, so can you. Because you out there, you are not the worst person in the world, You have not done anything unforgivable to YOURSELF (whether you believe it or not right now), and it is the First Step to freedom, admitting that you have a problem, it has control of your life, and your life sucks because of IT... alcohol.
That you can't stop. That you really don't even WANT to stop, but the consequences, in your heart and in your life, suck. Admitting that your life sucks because you are addicted to alcohol is the first step to freedom. It is the first big Truth we have to come to about ourselves. From here, a bunch of other truths follow, including some very healing and joyous ones. But you have to come to the FIRST one, to know the joy later....
I admitted it, it hurt like hell, but it started to work on me, and help me a lot. My life sucked, from the inside out. But by facing the truth, I could finally be open to real help.
Next....................
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~Your Higher Power has not given you a longing to do that which you have no ability to do.
For about a dozen plus years before getting to AA I knew I had a drinking "problem". But an alcoholic? No way. Not me. I didn't meet what I thought the 'criteria' was (jobless, homeless, daily drinking, etc.). After getting to AA via a relationship, identifying with stories and the BB I finally said "OK. I admit it. I'm an alcoholic." But in my mind I couldn't imagine never drinking again. So 32 days into the program I relapsed for about 12 hours. I went back to Step 1 - again admitting I am an alcoholic. I relapsed again about 90 days into it.
This became a pattern for me for over 2 yrs. AA, relapse, back to AA, relapse again. I just couldn't figure it out.
Then one day, out the blue, I realized for me admitting it just wasn't enough - I like to think of that as my spiritual awakening - It wasn't until I became willing to accept that I am powerless over alcohol, did my life and program of AA action change.
For me, acceptance really was the answer......
~ Jen
p/s - I can never "remember" the Step Board. This gal's gotta keep it simple....
-- Edited by Doll at 16:58, 2008-08-16
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Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass... It's about learning to dance in the rain.
I knew that I was powerless over alcohol as I had proved that to myself too many times. But, I didn't think that my life was unmanageable. I spent time with my sponsor and she asked me so many questions and I began to see the unmanageablity for myself.
I used to introduce myself by saying 'My name is Carol and I'm an alcoholic'. But, in my heart I knew that I hadn't accepted it. And, I went back out and drank again.
But, as Jen said, it wasn't until I totally accepted that I was an alcoholic that things started to get better. Until I had accepted it fully I was always going to go back out and try to have just one drink (which I can't do).
I have kept my written step one, and in the early days when I was struggling I would take it out and read it again to remind myself of just how powerless I am over alcohol and just how unmanageable my life was. It worked every time.
Take care,
Carol
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Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~Dr. Seuss
Awesome adds, gals!!! I like the discussion about "accepting" our alcoholism. Good stuff.
I too would rather discuss the steps in "small group fashion", with those here I already know, and anyone new here who would like to join!! I have tried other forums on the site, but this is my "home".... :o) I hope that others can benefit from the links though, if they choose to do so. So thanks, tlcate!!
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~Your Higher Power has not given you a longing to do that which you have no ability to do.
I was sooo powerless over alcohol! I let it run my live for the last 2 years of my drinking. Bottles everywhere, stashed to catch the extra little buzz, while I was drinking with everyone else who could drink normally! Drove my kids around drunk, left work and had a stash in my purse. I even remember a time I was at an AA meeting with a fresh pint in my purse for after the meetnig! Wasnt ready to admit I WAS POWERLESS!!! Stuck around long enough in the rooms to hear I really did have a problem!!!!!
Alcohol managed my life...period!
Will always play back the tape to remind myself how really sick I was.....
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"We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have. "
Before accepting my powerlessness I would sit at meetings and think "HOW is my life so unmanageable?" I have a home, a job, I own a small business and my bills are paid.
After accepting that I am an alcoholic I began to realize the unmanageablity part. 1) I bought the home (geographical cure) after leaving my husband of 10 yrs because he was a drunk and I drank too much around him, but my own drinking became more frequent and my capacity for alcohol grew quickly. 2) My job allows 10 sick days per year & were issued on January 1 - Mine were used up by March 1st! 3) The ink wasn't dry on the divorce decree before I'd signed up for online dating 4) I allowed my son to spend as much time with his father as he wanted, therefore I had more drinking and/or hangover recovery time. 5) I all but maxed out credit cards to pay for expensive booze for parties I'd throw, going to clubs and buying everyone else's drinks and buying my son $200.00 sneakers, $100.00 jeans and $80.00 Polo shirts.
I can now say the credit card has a zero balance. I ditched the 'playmates' and changed my 'playground' and now shop at WalMart and discount stores for the kid! It's the middle of August and I still have SIX sick days left at work.
-- Edited by Doll at 17:01, 2008-08-16
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Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass... It's about learning to dance in the rain.
Where ever - as long as I get to work through the steps...
Here is my post from the step board. Step One: We admitted we were powerless over alcohol - that our lives had become unmanageable.
It took me a while to get here...and I thought I was here once already. I came into AA through Al-Anon - or "through the back door" as they say. While in Al-Anon I thought I it had finally clicked - that I was powerless over others. I thought I had let go. Upon further investigation of myself - I found that I hadn't fully completed the first step. I realized I wasn't in control of my drinking or my life, blamed my drinking on others, and felt I could stop if I wanted to. But - upon looking at my history with drinking, it has never been something I have controlled and it was escalating as the years went by. It was distorting my view of my life, and just as I felt it was intensifying my "fun", it was intensifying my anger, mistrust, and general unhappiness with myself and everything else in my life.
I am powerless over alcohol. If I drink a single drink, there will be more. Even when I am sober, moments before taking a drink, I think - no problem - have one or two and stop. Then I don't. I CAN NOT CONTROL IT.
My life has become unmanageable. Driving drunk, driving drunk with my daughter in the car, getting into venomous arguments with my beau, having my daughter clean up after throwing up - just a few examples of the many stupid things I have done while drinking. This is not a life that is manageable. This is not a life I imagined I would ever be living.
So, here I am. Completely bare, raw, and ready to start over with truth and humility. I realize - more importantly admit to MYSELF - that I am powerless over alcohol and many other things in life - just fill in the blank.
I am hoping that others will join me as we move through the steps and share their questions and ESH. As I continue to read 12x12 and the big book I am sure I will be back replying to my own posts with questions.
Thank you for listening.
tlc
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__________________ "By swallowing evil words unsaid, no one has ever harmed his stomach." ~Winston Churchill
wow, tlc! I have heard others say that they found Step One through first attending Al Anon. Thanks so much for joining in! And you are right, no matter what we tried to TELL ourselves upon picking up a drink, we could truly NOT control it, no matter what.
My powerlessness and unmanageability was SO OBVIOUS to everyone around me, even the community at large, and myself. I knew for a long time that I was powerless and that my life was unmanageable, as I did not live anything even remotely resembling a normal life. I was homeless "by choice" so no one could track me down and force me to get help. I actually thought I was "free" because of this. I chose alcohol over a home, a car, a job, a relationship of any kind, and I even chose alcohol and other things over food, shelter and contact with family.
Someone mentioned here that they had to ACCEPT the first step. I would not accept it, because accepting it meant that I had to open the door to something different, and I did not know anything different, nor even want to know anything different- I did not want to have to FEEL, or WORK for anything. It took a long long time for me. Alcoholism had taken away my very human instinct to survive and live. I had to be forced to dry out in a center, and forced into a different life for some time, before I could even garner the notion that perhaps being sober and having my physical needs met was a better alternative. There is where I began to wage the comparison between what I had known before, and what I was beginning to discover. Someone ELSE had to make things managable, so I could see what pain and suffering I really HAD gone through, and put others through, because every day before that in my adult life for a decade, I was oblivious to such things.
I have, in recent years, "forgotten" the stark contrast between what it is like sober, and what it was like then. Those have been very dangerous times for me, and have led to relapse and starting all over again with Step One.
I can NOT forget the immense and all-consuming power alcohol has had over me. I HAVE to know it and see it and keep it at the front of my mind every single day. I have got to work Step One every single day, fully.
I am moving closer to a year of sobriety again this fall, but I do not pay attention anymore to how many months I have. Those medallions are SO important for most AA's. But for me, as a re-tread, I MUST just simply work Step One 24 hours at a time. That is just me, and what works for me this time.
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~Your Higher Power has not given you a longing to do that which you have no ability to do.
You don't have to work the first step 24 hours at a time. The only time that you have to work it is right now. Funny thing is that whenever I check it's right now.
