Mine is I never finished college and few people knew this. I was up for a promotion at work, I'm qualified and after holding the position I have for more than 5 yrs, I have the experience. But because I don't have that piece of paper they gave it to someone who does!
Soooo, I've decided to go back to school. I'm TERRIFIED to say the least. I keep asking myself can I do this at my age. I always hated school and struggled to keep a B-C average (depending on the subject) And geeze it's taken me 3 yrs of AA to manage to put together 1 whole one. Things just don't come easy to me when it comes to some things, especially 'book smarts'. But, on the other hand I was drinking back then. Alcohol had been a big part of my life since Jr. High and had begun to completely take over about the time I should have been starting my JR year in college. I met with a counselor today and because it's been soooo friggin' long I have to pretty much start from the beginning again. Geeze. Can I do this? Can I balance work, home and sobriety?
Then there's things like the courses I have to take. I don't remember any of that stuff. I'm now wondering if I should just be happy with the career I have and let sleeping dogs lie. After all, I do work for a nationwide corporation and I have a pretty good position without that degree. But, that voice has been in my head for quite some time now, "go back to school, Jen, go back! "
So, the secret is out! And I feel better for that...........share, people, share! I need some ES&H on this one, too.
(((hugs)))
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Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass... It's about learning to dance in the rain.
Hi Doll, I feel you will be very surprised if you take the step to go back to college. They have tutors there and much help and it is so rewarding to study. And yes you can balance it very nicely. You will be surprised.
It sounds like you are being given a great gift from the problem at work. Never a problem without a gift and it looks like all you got to do is unwrap it at this point and enjoy!
I will tell you a little story. My parents had been married for 44 yrs when my Father died in 1990 leaving my Mom with no money and a cancelled life insurance policy. She had always been housebound as a wife and Mom and at age 65 yrs old and alone in a small town she got her license to drive after never having driven.
Mom got a car and a job at a school to work with small children. And at age 70 Mom got her Associates Degree and did so with flying colors. Mom met and married a wonderful man and still are married now for 15 yrs. Mom had the job at the school for 14 yrs.
They have traveled around the world and have done so many wonderful things in life. At age 82 yr and my Step Dad aged 89 yrs are in great shape and cut wood each day and are very young for their age.
My Mom is an alcoholic who had not drank for 27 yrs when my Dad died. She soon started to and stopped about 9 or now onto 10 yrs ago. She has done so many things to help people and is such an inspiration to me and all she meets.
I feel that anyone at anytime of their life can do whatever they set their mind to. I have faltered here this past year but I have faith that I too can finish my BA in psych at age 54 yrs old and onto a Masters Degree.
You can do it as long as you take one day at a time with school and enjoy it. I feel it is another level of your life that is meant to be.
I try to listen to that voice, I encourage you to follow that message. When I listen to messages from my Higher Power, things have always worked out better than i could have ever imagined. I break things like this down into one day at a time, because it would overwhelm me to try and think of a 4 year degree in one go.
Rosie's story about her Mum is so inspiring. and from my experience, I went back to college after many years away, and I found tutors so helpful and they were free of charge. Working with a good tutor helped me to build confidence in myself and my ability to do well. So I say, yes, go for it, sure, it's "a piece of Paper" on one hand but it's not really about the paper(although this is helpful in the situation you have come up against) for me it was about going back to school and stepping out of my familiar life and doing something new. Carol just posted something really cool recently about FEAR. ...Facing Everything and Recovering, I loved that, I might apply here.
When I came to A.A. 22 years ago, I too had dropped out of college. I held that secret from everyone, including my family and then employer. At about 18 months sober, I couldn't hold the secret anymore: I had revealed it to my sponsor in my 5th step, but couldn't bring myself to immediately tell even my family. I finally got the courage to do so, and to my surprise, nothing bad happened: my mom told me in fact that she had suspected that I hadn't graduated. I re-enrolled in college at night, worked full-time during the day, and still made 5-6 meetings per week. A couple of years later, I had my B.A. degree and then went away full time to law school, which had been a long time dream of mine that had been stripped away by alcohol and drugs. I've been practicing law for 15 years now, and am very grateful that I walked through that fear 22 years ago. What I can tell you is that I took it one day at a time, one step at a time: just like we learn to do with everything in the Program.
One cautionary note from my experience: as you'll probably recall, I relapsed just shy of 18 years sober, and that was a direct result of resting on my laurels, not going to meetings, and acting like I was "cured" of alcoholism. Out of the blue, for no apparent reason (other than alcohol is as the Big Book says, a "subtle foe"), I took the first drink. Fortunately, I made it back to A.A. with my career and family intact. I'll be two years sober again in a few weeks, and today, just as I did for my first 16 years sober, I make it to meetings regularly, work with my sponsor in the 12 steps, reach out to newcomers, and have developed a regular, daily prayer and meditation life. Although my career remains very important to me, I know that my sobriety has to remain the top priority.
You have already taken the first step by meeting with the counselor; just keep taking one step at a time, continue to ask for help and support, and continue with the Program of A.A. You can accomplish whatever your heart desires with God's help.
I know what you mean about being terrified of going back to school again. I started school in February of this year after a break of twenty-seven years! I needed to go right back to basics, but it's going well.
I know quite a few people in the Fellowship who have gone back to school and they all told me the same thing: 'Don't forget to enjoy it!' It's simple and that thought really helps me. Another thing that really did help me more than I would have thought was planning a time table of when I was going to study and making the space to do it.
Jen, you'll be fine. That voice in your head is there for a reason. Go for it and enjoy it!
Take care,
Carol
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Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~Dr. Seuss
Hi Doll, You can do it. What is the worst thing that can happen by going back to school? And what is the best thing?
Fear is an ever powerful feeling. I was told that fear is a friend. It helps us to look at ourselves but it gets pushed away instead of paid attention to and what it is telling us and what we really have to look at. Or we feel we have to plow through it or face it like it is our enemy.
If we make friends with our fear and talk to our fears they will help us to go deep inside of our hearts and souls to see what we are all about. It helps us to get to know ourselves.
I feel that is what scares us is to face ourselves not fear that is only there to get our attention. And if you realize you will see that the more you fight your fears the bigger they get and that is because it is trying to get your attention to look and see what is so important. By stopping and making it your friend fear will rest until you need it again.
Hey, Jen. Thanks for sharing. I think many of us can relate. I know that I sure can. I, too, had a very erratic and broken academic career. And, I felt less than others because I didn't have a degree. So, I went back to college, with three small children. It was not easy, but it was gratifying.
Many years later, when the time was right, God opened the doors for me to get my Ph.D. Now, I teach in a large university, and my favorite students are what we call "non-traditional" students - people returning to get an education later in life. Many are in recovery, though not all. But, even more importantly, those of us who go through college later in life bring so much to the table. We have life experiences that are invaluable, and we tend to be more open to learning. I have met some absolutely fabulous people who have been in my classes. I usually share with them my own E, S & H.
Enjoy the ride. You just never know where you Higher Power might be taking you next!
Hasn't held me back much. 
