I have about 12 years clean and sober...but not really serenity......just recently the emotional/spiritual pain got bad enough where I just started talking to God again.....I felt myself surrendering inside......it feels good.....but now I have some work ahead of me.....I "sort of" have a sponsor and I have a REALLY hard time going to AA mtgs for some reason.....I don't know what the blockage is.....all I've been doing for a week now is reading the Big Book and beginning my 4th step (and now posting to this site).....but I know this ain't enough......I want to keep what I have now, I KNOW I can't do it alone, without my Higher Power...does anyone else have a resistance to meetings? Do you JUST GO anyway??!! thanks
After the 10 year mark...there were different times..when I got complacient..as far as meetings were concerned...and a few times also.. that I thought I could get by, just fine..on yesterdays AA.
There were a few rude awakenings involved. :)
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Live each day as if it were your last...because tomorrow?
It might be.
Yes, when meetings are tough to go to, I make myself go. Like Phil said, I am always glad I did afterwards. No matter how much I don't want to go, if I go anyway, I always come home feeling better. A lot better.
Sometimes when I don't go often enough, it makes me not want to go, then I go anyway and it's better.
I hope you get back in there. Venture out to other meetings and you might find a few that are more interesting to you or hit a need that the meetings you were going to missed.
Remember, it's a we thing.
I had to edit my post...somehow I had missed that you hadn't worked the steps until now. I never had a moment of peace and serenity until I worked the steps. They were crucial in a change in my life that I have NEVER regretted and that I still am grateful for working the first time on.... Made all the difference in the world to me and in my life. I think later you will feel the same way.
Love & Hugs, Stephanie
-- Edited by Returned_Here at 20:57, 2008-08-14
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Today I will be handling All of your problems for you. I do Not need your help. So, have a nice day. I love you. ~ GOD *****
the two most important times to go to meetings, when you want to go and when you don't . the missing link is right before you. get that sponsor and do your 4th and 5th with him and I assure you that you whole outlook on your recovery and life will change. It is after those to steps are complete that most AAs say they experienced the "spiritual awakening". Mine was immediately after my 5th step. Look back thru my posts and you find my writings about that evening.
Welcome to MIP. I do hope that you'll stay around and share some ES&H with us. Congrats on 12 years sober. That's great!
When I don't want to go to a meeting, that's when I need them the most.
I know that if I don't go to my meetings, have a sponsor, work the steps and stay active in AA then I will pick up a drink again. I have heard that told in the rooms so many times. I just don't want to drink again so I go my meetings.
And, I always feel better for having been to a meeting.
Please keep posting and letting us know how it goes for you, won't you?
Take care,
Carol
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Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~Dr. Seuss
I had 16 years and was living in a small town that had only 2 meetings a week. I thought that I really had the program down and didn't really need meetings and only got to 1 a week if that. It finally caught up to me and when my dog was killed by a car, I started drinking again. Now, if I don't get to a meeting just about every day, I find that my attitudes really start to slip. I am willing to do whatever it takes to not drink again and part of that is getting to enough meetings.
thanks for the great replies.....very encouraging.....a couple of days ago, I decided to "trick" myself (I know this sounds crazy) and go to a meeting......I told myself, "You're not really going to an AA mtg, you're going to meet a guy to talk about buying a motorcycle" (I like motorcycles).....and sure enough, I fell for it!! I went and the meeting was OK (though I could only force myself to stay 45 minutes).........I figured, my head has messed with me for so long, it's time I messed back!!
. the missing link is right before you. get that sponsor and do your 4th and 5th with him and I assure you that you whole outlook on your recovery and life will change. It is after those to steps are complete that most AAs say they experienced the "spiritual awakening". Mine was immediately after my 5th step. Look back thru my posts and you find my writings about that evening.