Many of us have someone in our life that challenges our ability to trust and care for ourselves.
When we hear that person's voice or are in his or her presence, we may forget all we know about what is real, about how to own our power, about how to be direct, about what we know and believe to be true, about how important we are.
We give up our power to that person. The child in us gets hooked with a mixture of powerful feelings - love, fear, or anger. We may feel trapped, helpless, or so attracted that we can't think straight. There may be a powerful tug of war going between feelings of anger and our need to be loved and accepted, or between our head and our heart.
We may be so enamored or intimidated that we revert to our belief that we can't react or respond to this person any differently.
We get hooked.
We don't have to stay under a spell.
We start by becoming aware of the people who hook us, and then accepting that.
We can force ourselves through the motions of reacting differently to that person, even if that new reaction is awkward and uncomfortable.
Search out our motivations. Are we somehow trying to control or influence the other person? We cannot change the other person, but we can stop playing our part of the game. One good way to do this is by detaching and letting go of any need to control.
The next step is learning to own our power to take care of ourselves, to be who we are free from their influence. We can learn to own our power with difficult people. It may not happen overnight, but we can begin, today, to change our self-defeating reactions to the people who have hooked us.
God, help me identify the relationships where I have forfeited my power. Help me unhook and begin owning my power.
From The Language of Letting Go
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Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~Dr. Seuss
Thank you so much for that. It is just what I needed to hear.
I have given up my power to an ex of 8 yrs and it has been five months since he left and I feel he still has a hook in me.
I was told by a wonderful counselor not to be a dumb fish. I know I allowed it to happen and I still allow him to have this power over me. I have been stubborn in giving that up.
Maybe it is because if I do it means giving him up. Weird but true. But I know I cannot go on for much longer feeling this way. The drinking escalation has made that worse. And being sick and not productive makes it all worse.
I make those choices each day and if I chose to give my power up then I will not have it. That post is really helping me.
I do not understand as yet why I gave it up to him. I feel the alcohol fog is still present and I need more time not drinking to have things clear and I know as I get well that everything will be so much clearer and I will have peace and my power back in full.
I feel that no one can take what I am unwilling to give. Rosie
