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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Alcoholics Anonymous -> Alcoholics Anonymous -> What was the turning point that made you WANT/READY to change? (very long and babbling)
Post Info TOPIC: What was the turning point that made you WANT/READY to change? (very long and babbling)
Dublin


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What was the turning point that made you WANT/READY to change? (very long and babbling)
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I haven't been happy with my drinking FOR YEARS.  I'm unhappy in my personal life and my drinking has progressed.. not blaming him... just blaming my unhappiness and ability to cope.  I am ASHAMED how much I drink and the frequency.  My health is deteriorating (bp is skyhigh!).  I have 2 boys that are the light of my life and I DON'T want to lead them on this road.  I DON'T want to leave them because I am DEAD.  I also don't seem to have the WILLPOWER to stop.  I am ASHAMED to admit how much I drink to others.  I NEVER have told any doctor I've been to how much I drink. 

When I was pg I NEVER drank.  Why don't I feel as though I'm as important to make me stop?  I've even thought... okay.. so stop drinking because of your kids.. that makes me feel bad and I'll be good for a couple of days but then I'll drink.  Its usually after they are in bed, but I still feel its wrong!!!!

My spouse drinks like I do.  We always tell each other that we're going to stop and we don't. 

It has become my HABIT that if I stop at the store on the way home from work that I HAVE to buy a bottle of wine.  I DON'T WANT TO FEEL THIS WAY ANYMORE. 

Yes, I have a problem.  And yes I'm writing this after drinking a bottle of wine.  I don't know what to do.

Please don't bash me.  I'm struggling.  I want help but I also self sabotage.  I wish I was one of the stronger people that said what they were going to do and just did. 

I also have self esteem issues and feel I'm too fat.  I also blame the alcohol on both.

Don't know why I'm writing.  I just hope that maybe someone will tell me something insightful.

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Doll


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Hi Ren. Welcome to MIP.

One of the most helpful things I've ever heard is "I'm not a bad person trying to be good. I'm a sick person who wants to get well". Alcoholism is a disease and it's a progressive one...... I've been EXACTLY where you are right now, so you're not alone.

The "turning point" for me was I finally got so sick and tired of me, of all those feelings - shame, guilt, remorse, self loathing. I too lied not only to my friends, family and doctors but to myself - for well over 25 yrs.

There is help out there. Please call your local Alcohol Anonymous, you can find it in the white pages of your phone directory, and tell whoever answers the phone EXACTLY what you've posted here.


You won't find any 'bashing' here, hun, as I've all been THERE, that's how I got HERE.


BIG ((((hugs))))


Jennifer, alcoholic.

-- Edited by Doll at 06:09, 2008-07-10

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Bryan39


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The AA "Big Book " speaks of a jumping off place , what they mean is that we, all of us alky's reach a point where we can't imagine life with alcohol and we can't imagine life without it either, you don't want to change but you can't go on the way you are either. If you read this please keep coming back we'll love you until you learn to love yourself.



Bryan

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Obsession with self in these matters is a dead end; attention  to God leads us out into the open, into a spacious, free life.  Romans 8:6 , The Message
lani


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Hi Ren
Welcome..
Just by posting this you are reaching out for some help! There is help out there through AA! Give them a call. Hit a few meetings. See what you think. Your not as bad as you think as we all have been right where you are! I never thought in a million years I would stay sober but Im coming on to 9 months!!! My husband will have a year this month! You need to do it for you! Your hubby and kids will also benefit but you will find it easier to do if it is for YOU!!!

You are worth it so give AA a try! Glad youre here!!!

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"We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have. "
sweatpea


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I to am having my own issues and commend you for your courage. I am also new here and typed a message, It is easy to type to people then look them in the eye for me anyways. This is really the first time that I am admiting my problem and am hoping to find strenth. this was my post
I am very new to this, well admiting it.(Preview)
good luck to you
Sweatpae

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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Alcoholics Anonymous -> Alcoholics Anonymous -> What was the turning point that made you WANT/READY to change? (very long and babbling)