Hello to you all. I am new here. 5 months sober. I am an alcoholic and realize I can never drink again. It's not an option I just have times where it's almost unbearable to fight the urge. I quit smoking a year and a half ago and gave up drinking for 3 months just to get past that. I thought I was ok that if I could drink without smoking, I could continue drinking. What a joke! I would just drink more...more and more. I made it to work daily, never once have I had to have an "eye opener" but I could not drive home fast enough to open the first cold can of beer. 8-10 later, 12am or later, I would drag myself to be and pass out. All of this was going in front of my teenage daughter. What have I done to her???? I was never violent, angry, etc. but more so, just wasting the night away while she observed. She is my greatest cheerleader just as she was when I quit smoking. I know both of these things will only make me a healthier person. She is away right now at her Dad's and I have this incredible urge to drink. It's just like the first season or the first activity you experience that you typically would have included alcohol. When she would go away, I would drown myself in beer and wine. I'm looking for some friends that understand because everyone in my world, can not comprehend. I pray for strength and I know God is listening. I just need someone to reach out and take my hand....
Your 'story' is a lot like my own plus the fact that I had a very difficult time accepting 'I could never drink again', when I finally gave in to just not drinking for today, it got much easier.
Have you been attending AA?
Congrats on 5 months. What a miracle. That is proof right there that "God is listening".
Please keep posting and let us know how you are
(((hugs)))
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Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass... It's about learning to dance in the rain.
Welcome to the board. I was also a single parent (part time parent) when I go sober. Having idle time is not your friend. Get busy with meetings and activities. I had to "Get a life" because my life was drinking and mostly drinking alone. In the end, my biggest fears were losing my mind and not being able to work, drive, see my son... Get busy, too busy to drink.
Hi Sally Welcome to Mip and congrats on 5 months sober. It does get easier and I agree with Dean. Get busy....Attend lots of meetings and meet some sober people and have lunch or other activities with like minded people. I just had an AA cookout and what fun we had!I was a bit nervous but glad I did it! Its fun to meet people outside of meetings and do things. It took me a while but Im starting to open up!!! Good luck to you!
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"We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have. "
Thanks for all of your positive responses. I have not attended AA meetings but started my journey by reading Allen Carr's, The Easyway to Stop Drinking. He's not a huge AA advocate but not against it either. It was a good book and helped me with the initially quiting but long term support, I think I best get to a meeting. I'm kind of scared as I'm a pretty quiet person. I don't know what the meetings will be like and feel pretty lonely right now. I don't really have a close friend I could ask to attend with me. All my friends either A)didn't think I had a problem as they did the same thing or B)I hid the drinking to the excess I was drinking from alot of people. I know, get some balls and go.....
I made it through the weekend without drinking so I feel like I've accomplished something. :)
Job hunting huh? How long have you been sober and what type of job you looking for? No matter when you're looking or what you're looking for it's like a test. A really hard test until they say you're hired.
Good luck and thanks for stopping in and saying hi!
I was/am a nurse who self-medicated herself right out of the profession. It was along time ago, but it still comes back to haunt me.
I have been in healthcare, in one form or another, all my working life. And now I can't work in that field. There is a list that excludes me for something I did 13 years ago.
I know this is a great big opportunity for growth, because of how painful this is. But it seems like a really long road.
I am so glad I found this support board. I was feeling a bit alone.
Chin up! We all make mistakes but it's when we learn from them that they are forgiven. I feel lonely often. My Coors Light and a pack of smokes, they were always my best friend. I was never alone if I had them. I was to the point that I would stay home with my "best friends" so I didn't have to worry about driving or worse yet, driving with my daughter in the car. I was a prisoner in my own home. On my way home from work, get a 12 or more, a pack of smokes and I was set for the night. I look back....pathetic. I'm lonely but not alone.
Yup, so many of us were held hostage by our very own selves. Pathetic, that is putting it lightly. I was a tequila girl, mixed with a handful of pain pills and adderall. I secluded myself almost to death.
Now I have a life, and and a plan and a way to stay sober. Yay.
Thanks to people like you who reach out. There is always one in the group. Thankfully. Bless you, [stressed].
Welcome Bliss: Start a thread and introduce yourself! I too am a nurse and thank god when my addiction was huge I was mixing chemo so no chance to self medicate! I truly believe I was where I was for a reason! Thats past, I was fired, (getting over it) but it does hurt like hell thinking back. But, we move on, keep doing the next right thing, and things do get better!!!
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"We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have. "
I was/am a nurse who self-medicated herself right out of the profession. It was along time ago, but it still comes back to haunt me.