I'm coming to find out that one of the hardest parts for me in staying sober is figuring out how to handle my emotions. They are all over the place!
Realizing that I have spent the last 8+ yrs of my life running from things makes it understandable. But that little voice in the back of my head keeps popping up and saying "this would be easier to think about/deal with if I had a drink".
So, I've set up an appt with a counselor. But I'm wondering what experiences some of you have had with this. Any advice?
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"Believe more deeply. Hold your face up to the light, even though for the moment you do not see."
When I first got sober it was like a roller coaster ride. One hour I'd be overly optomistic and euphorically happy, the next hour depression would set in. I made some headway with it when I decided to curb both extremes. I wouldn't let myself entertain the highs or lows and tried to stay in the "I'm Ok today" mode. Making a "to do" list and working on it each day, taking time to enjoy a walk in the park helps keep the focus on Today. Try and stay away from sugar and caffiene as they induce ups and downs in mood and energy. How much are you exercising? Vitamins? Good diet with 3 meals? regular sleeping schedule? Naps? Are you socializing enough (not isolating)? Have any hobbies, pets, or other activities that you enjoy? Are you laughing enough?
Welcome back, Blacksheep. Take no notice of that *little voice* trying to fool you into taking that first drink again! That's our illness talking & I like the defenceful thinking motto of 'there's no problem a drink won't make worse!' You're doing really well. One thing I did noticein sobriety was this sudden temper I had that would flare up at every opportunity that things weren't quite how I'd like them! That's been a lesson in learning to cope with my reactions to things.
The program of AA teaches me to look at what my motives in things are & for the most part I've discovered I'm not the angel I thought I was. I can be bossy, controlling, self righteous, judgemental, self pitying, self deprecating.. .. .. .. . Learning this has been an emotional roller coaster in itself but I'm learning by following other members examples of how practicing the 12steps can teach me how to learn about alcoholism & living in the world with this condition. It's hard but the more acceptance I have the easier it gets.
I believe you've been making it to meetings.. How's that going for you? If you haven't found someone you might like for a sponsor yet make sure you have some same sex numbers so that you can call up & chew their ears with how you're feeling. Friends in fellowship will have been there too & will understand. Your call will be helping them stay sober another day too so don't be shy! Of course, posting here will help to pin down those thoughts & feelings & help you learn what they are, what they mean for you & help you move through & let go of them. It's also good for you to come back to & see how much progress you've made in later months.
Obviously, though tis Just for today! Keep it all in the day, Blacksheep. You can't change yesterday so let yourself not be anxious. You can't predict what's going to happen tomorrow so let yourself not be fearful of it. Today is all you have to deal with. 24hrs 1Day@aTime. Keep it all close & don't add to your stresses with any worrying if you can help it. Offer it up to whatever you feel is looking after you. Ask whatever that is to help you with a little strength you need to take care of your troubles Just for Today! You're not alone. Keep coming back & sharing with us too. It's really great that you're here :) Danielle x
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Progress not perfection.. & Practice makes Progress!
The meetings are going well. I have yet to find anyone I really connect with, so I don't have a sponsor yet. It's a small town, and there are more men than women at the meetings. But there has been a couple of women I've talked to.
Trying to come up with a daily schedule I can stick to. Trying to just let myself "be" and develop some healthy habits.
Thanks for the "Just for today" reminders. I really need those. :)
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"Believe more deeply. Hold your face up to the light, even though for the moment you do not see."
If you've the time & the means maybe you can travel a little further & see if there's any more meetings you can go to & keep yourself busy while you're making changes. They'll keep your morale up & help you making new friends for phone calls. Keep up the good work anyways & good luck with your Counsellor. It's good for you to keep talking & letting out all of those things you've had to deal with now that you're facing them & not hiding in the drinking. There's lots you'll come to know about yourself & in the most beautiful way it's all about growing, learning & maturing as we're coming to understand ourselves. Peeling away the layers of the onion. It's a wonderful life & when I stopped drinking it's been like a new life & a second chance to live. An opportunity to stop making old mistakes. Wishing you the same :) Danielle x
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Progress not perfection.. & Practice makes Progress!
I actually just posted about this in the thread I started a while back. I'm going through the EXACT same thing BlackSheep is and exactly what Dean mentioned he went through.
I am making it to meetings and I think I found someone I'll ask to be my temp sponsor. I'm very dedicated to the gym and exercising so I'm getting plenty of that. It's just hard to hold on to that euphoric, happy feeling that pops up and disappears so quickly.
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God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.
I actually just posted about this in the thread I started a while back. I'm going through the EXACT same thing BlackSheep is and exactly what Dean mentioned he went through.
I am making it to meetings and I think I found someone I'll ask to be my temp sponsor. I'm very dedicated to the gym and exercising so I'm getting plenty of that. It's just hard to hold on to that euphoric, happy feeling that pops up and disappears so quickly.
Just remeber folks "Feeling are Not facts". You can just about ignore them in early sobriety. Your mind is not your friend, but once it gets used to you ignoring it, it will find more productive things to do. But it does need things to do. filling your schedule with dumb stuff like bowling, roller blading, bird watching, crossword puzzles, bike riding, painting....will keep you to busy to wonder why "know one cares about lonely old me".
