Thanks for all the warm messages of concern. I'm back home now, and so grateful to be here. I made it through the conference unscathed. In fact, a few remarkable things happened. I read the 3rd step prayer in the big book (finally -- a crusty old timer told me to read it weeks ago) when I couldn't sleep one night. It was like, aha! Here's the road map I've been looking for -- a quick something to look at during the day to keep me in line. I scribbled it onto the back of the hotel housekeeping card and carried it around with me. I need such reminders at this early point in my recovery. Next, I called a few wonderful folks from the board here on the night when I was feeling especially lonely and vulnerable. It helped so much. I realized, as long as I stick with AA, I'm never alone. Yesterday, on a break, I was wandering around and walked by a small building with a group of folks sitting outside smoking. I kept walking, then turned around and approached. Sure enough, it was an AA clubhouse. I had just missed a meeting but wound up talking to a few people for a while, then went back to the conference. I felt recharged. Last night I was invited out to dinner with a few colleagues and a famous doctor who spoke at the conference (I'm a total nerd -- a forensic psychiatrist is like a rock star to me). I hedged, then decided I'd give it a try. I had an elaborate plan for what I would do if things went bad. At the restaurant, several in our party were scouring the wine list. My colleague sitting next to me quietly turned over his wine glass and ordered a coke. I did the same. We said nothing. The person on my other side, in contrast, nearly came out of her seat getting the waiter's attention so she could be sure to get a glass of wine right away. I counted -- she sucked down 5 glasses, and then, after staring at the bottle the others had shared (red wine -- she professed to like only white) she apparently couldn't stand the fact that they left some in there, so she polished it off. She got up to go to the restroom and nearly landed on her face. Man, that was me, all the way, just a few months ago! It was such an interesting experience. Best of all, I just had fun, and other than watching my friend get sauced, I didn't think about drinking. On the plane ride home today, I drank MILK. That's a first. Even on morning flights I used to order something -- a little something in my juice, you know.
So tonight, a quick gratitude list: I came home sober, I remember everything I did, I'm back with my babies, I get to go to my favorite meeting tomorrow morning and see my sponsor, and I have wonderful friends here. Oh! And I'm grateful that I'm FINALLY starting to have some sense of a higher power. I still have trouble with that concept, but I can't deny all the amazing things that have happened to me. It can't all be a coincidence.
Excellent, excellent, Jen!!! Glad you made it home safely. Thanks for sharing your miracles. You are a true example of how the Program works. God bless.
Welcome back Jen, You truly are a miracle and Im glad things went well for you!! God does work in mysterious ways and I know alot of us were praying for you!
Perhaps it takes such a challenge as this to truly understand and accept exactly where we are and where we want to be!!! You are a shining example for all of us and it gives me confidence to know I CAN go anywhere and not be alone!!!!
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"We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have. "
Good job, great story. so the AA club was close to the hotel? Look how easy it was for you and your friend to turn your wine glasses over at dinner, no explanation neccessary. Speaking of dinner.
