Ran across a very concise analogy for these handy tools some of us used to use to stay "out there".
Imagine (or maybe you don't have to imagine) that you are in love with someone you believe to be the most wonderful person in the world.You cannot imagine living without this person and firmly believe you need this person to survive. Your Mother sits you down and tells you that you must no longer associate with this person. She tells you that this person is destroying your life, that you have changed since becoming involved with this person, and that all your family and friends believe you need to break off this relationship before something terrible happens to you. How would you react? You might tell your mother that she is crazy and that all her complaints about this person are untrue. (Denial) Perhaps you acknowledge that your person does have some little quirks, but they really don't bother you. (Minimilization) You might tell your mother that she and the rest of your family and friends are really just jealous because they do not have someone as wonderful as you do (projection) and that you may have changed but these changes are for the better and long overdue. (rationalization)
We use this analogy so you can develop an empathic understandingof what many addicted individuals experience. Obviously, the "love-object" in this case is the individual's substance of choice. The addicted individual may be seen as having an intimate or monogomous relationshipwith alcohol or other drugs and believe that he or she needs this substance to function and survive. In the same way that people deny that a relationship has become destructive, the addicted individual may deny that alcohol or other drugs have become destructive despite objective evidence to the contrary. The defense mechanisms of denail, minimization, projection and rationalization are used so that the person does not have to face a reality that may be terrifying: a life without alcohol or other drugs.
"We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have. "
