Poor little old me. I had the 'ploms' and almost died from them. . . Things grew worse. I fought tears, and when I had successfully swallowed them, anger and hostility toward everyone and everything welled up in their place. . . despairing loneliness enveloped me. . . What can I do about it? Well, I can weep and whine. If that doesn't improve things, I can get drunk. And if that doesn't work, I can kill myself. Or I can accept the situation and live. Those are my only options. Living appears to be the best; if things should happen to improve, I will be around to benefit.
Reprinted from The Best of the Grapevine (Vol. 1), pp.27-29, from the Grapevine. Reprinted with permission of The A.A. Grapevine, Inc.
Thought to Ponder....
The only time I get depressed is when I'm thinking about myself.
Recovery Related Acronym
A A = Attitude Adjustment.
__________________
"We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have. "
Boy, can I indetify with self pity. My life was WROUGHT with it. I try to think that this has subsided a lot since recovery, but Gosh Dang, I can still WHINE a lot!!!!
__________________
~~"It's hard to be hateful when you're grateful."~~
Nothing wrong with whining!!! I tend to do it too! Feel like whining today after working 14 hours last night and not getting a smoke or lunch break! Maybe I should quit! Smoking that is!! Get to bed at 900 and my lovely husband thinks I need to be up before he goes to work! Wakes my tired butt up at 200!!! So, Im tired, not grumpy yet tho! Going to a meeting even tho I dont feel like it. Want to watch the rerun of "rock of love!!" haha Bret's hot!!! lol
Well, gotta go make my kids some grub....It gets better!
__________________
"We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have. "
Its popping up at the core of a lot of stuff lately. Wonder how I got here but its more important to find a way out, especially since I am seeing it as so pervasive.
I think I allowed it to slip into my life on the internet. Just to converse, I often complain or join in with others. In person I stay positive and In AA I look to the solution but on everyday stuff that brings out the grouch, I am seeing self pity at the end of the day.
The most grateful thing I can think of today is getting to chair my homegroup. :)12th step in any fashion makes me a happy camper. Maybe I just need to work with others more often until I turn back around and get a more balanced nightly inventory?
great topic. I've been revising my personal definition of "victimizing myself". Till lately that meant taking others words or actions out of context (omission vs. commision) to extract a personal attack on me. Victims need villains right?. These were often the unintentional snub or maybe a word of advise. I've made good progress in this area, giving people the "benefit of the doubt". Really it's giving myself the "benefit". It's another one of those models that you can't prove, but it works if you work it.
Now my definition of "victimizing myself" is being expanded to, taking personal, whatever other people say or do, even when their intentions are self centered and their methods are deceitful and dishonest. I am reassuring myself, that it's not personal with statements (of acceptance) to myself like: "it's human nature for people to act like that", "it is what it is", "everyone has to do what the think that they have to do" (including me), "I'm grateful that I don't have to act like that anymore", and "there, but for the grace of God, go I".
As far as dealing with these kind people, I just resign myself to keep my calm, be honest, factual, and logical. And if they "don't get it" then maybe some day they will. I've spent a lot of my life "not getting it" so I should show some compassion by not hating on them. In the end, I have the power to not let it affect how I live my life and if they are going to continue to be a part of my life. Apologies to those with jobs. I've been self employed since day one of sobriety so I know that this philosophy is harder to practice at a "real job" but I do have to deal with my customers, employees, building departments, and my suppliers. Most of those I can pick and chose, except for the building dept. but I have learned to except their rules and to negotiate those rules to my benefit whenever possible. lol
I took a couple shots Sunday and monday and I let it get under my skin. Hot buttons kinda been formed by not being able to change somethings I Know I should. I confided I wasn't happy with things either and that was enough to give a couple people some ideas on how to be helpful.
RRRRRRR!!!! Had a little of the "Why won't God change me now and where exactly is this power to carry it out?
Scared me for a minute there tugg! Shots of what I thought!!!!! So in the big picture, the shots could have been worse!!!! Nothing wrong with expressing ourselves a little to get what we need! Sometimes people need a little kick in the butt or a gentle nudge to let them know what we need! Thats growth my friend!! You got the power, you just havent used it enough!
__________________
"We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have. "
