scared and confused

timetostop18 · Member

scared and confused

StPeteDean · MIP Old Timer

timetostop,

If you're having a drinking problem, as in not being able to stop drinking once you've started, then it's something that you need to not do. You've got a lot of important life preparation things going on right now and opportunities that you can miss out on that are much more important than being able to drink champagne on your birthday.
Shoot for something bigger, like going to Paris for your 21st birthday. I had a drinking problem at your age (and younger). I didn't finish high school and obviously didn't get to go to college either. I missed a lot of things in between (proms, graduation, senior trips...). Although my life turned out a bit better than good, it was only after I got sober that good things started happening for me. I basically wasted about 15 years of my life that I'd like to have back. There are probably young people's AA meetings near you. You can call number for AA in the phone book to find out where they are. You'll find a group of average young people just like your self that will really care about you and help you as much as you're willing to let them. Let us know how it goes.

Dean

Dave Harm · Senior Member

Old saying... One day at a time. And sometimes, it can be one minute at a time. It can be overwhelming to think of a WHOLE life without drinking. But you can make it one day - right?

I know someone who will celebrate one year of sobriety next month. This person is 17. They quit because they saw how much pain they inflicted on others. Not physical but mental.

This person has gained my respect, love, and admiration for all the challenges they have met - sober!!!

In fact, we go to some AA meetings together and I told this person, somewhere down the line everyone at AA will be their best friend and in a way they will be a bit envious of them.

And sure enough someone did bring this up at a meeting -"I wished I quit when I was your age." I had a big smile and looked at them and shook my head - telling them "I told you so."

I never thought this 17 year old would make it - but they have. And they realize that the only important day is today. Tomorrow will take care of itself.

So, go to AA, make some friends and watch a miracle take place - yours.

NOTE - sorry for all the "theys, thems, and theirs." But for this young person anonymity is important. And I've gained their trust so I won't even say what their gender is.

Creating Dreams, from they nightmares of hell...

-- Edited by Dave Harm at 22:21, 2008-04-03

Tuggboat · Senior Member

Well, if you want to make 21, you have a better chance if you get sober now. We don't care if you want to drink in a few years. A lot of us come in with the plan to drink in a week or thirty days or a year or some other landmark. Many of us decide to stay longer, many can't get to their secret goals though. One of the things that has to go on for people to stop is that they have to become convinced that they are powerless over alcohol. If you think that you will have any more power over champagne on your birthday than you do over whatever you drink today getting drunk for another day on your 21st will not really be something you want to celebrate. Special occasions will become further and further apart. Champagne kinda loses its fizz when you swill it from the super magnum bottles by yourself. At least thats my experience.

I did the same thing though. I was pretty sure I was alcoholic but didn't think I should stop because I was not 21 yet. By the time I was 21 I was ready to quit. Had a bunch of legal drinks and quit for a few weeks but as soon as I got sober I forgot why I quit.

One of the things we do is called thinking the drink through. Where will that champagne take you. Will it stop with the pop of the cork and the sirens of the cops or ambulances. Will all the good fortune and success you may have worked for like a graduation all go downhill into a part time walmart job? What will the end of the nite be like instead of concentrating on the beginning. This is a progressive disease. If you even have it, it will always get worse and never better. Wherever the first drink ends up today, a few years from now it will be even further down the road.

Try staying sober today and going to an alcoholics anonymous meeting. You asked what you should do. Thats my opinion. Get sober long enough to figure out if your an alcoholic. You can't figure out stuff like that while your drunk.

timetostop18 · Member

Well I mean....I've passed out and gotten in huge trouble...I've drunk half a bottle of everclear in one sitting...I usually drink around 9-10 drinks

Sept_19_2002 · Veteran Member

Hi,

Thanks for coming here and asking questions. Definitely great beginnings.

I used to think I wasn't an alcoholic and I drank gallons everyday. In my own self diagnosis I thought my problem was drugs. It took me a while to figure out I was a drug addict and an alcoholic and with a little sobriety I realized I had reality dysfunctions too, meaning I had no life skills in dealing with reality. Being loaded all the time any situation that I couldn't handle I got loaded. I did this for 25 years and it wasn't until I was 38 years old that I began to learn how to live life on life's terms.

By going to meetings it helped me find a way to quit drinking and using, the 12 steps of the AA program helped me develop the life skills I needed and still use today.

If you have had the chance to go through this site you'll have picked up that most of us got here the hard way. If you want to save yourself a little time and grief, extend your queries and check out a meeting. You'll find out quick enough where you're at.

Thanks for being here today smile

Keep coming back biggrin

lani · MIP Old Timer

Welcome:
Its good to see you posting. Sounds like you have a lot of support from family anf friends who care about you! Check out some meetings and you'll be suprized that there are, at least in my town, alot of young people coming around. They all seem to hang together, do fun things and support each other. You'll meet some very cool people Im sure!

I agree with the rest of us old drunks! How lucky for you to be discovering that possibly your an alkie early on! It will save you alot of heartache and pain in the next few years! When I think of all the money I wasted, the pain my parents went thru and the bad choices I made along the way it makes me sad. But, life is great now and I have lots of new friends and especially respect from my parents, coworkers and my kids!

Good luck to you! There is hope for all of us....You just have to want it!!!
Lani

Sobrietyspell · MIP Old Timer

Welcome to MIP, Time2Stop. I hope you meet with us here often & share where you are, what's happening for you & how you're feeling. We live each day 1Day@aTime away from a drink & it's a challenge at any age. Alcohol was like our most prized possession at one time & probably the biggest sacrifice (or so I thought) I had to make. I see it now that when I was drinking I was actually sacrificing alot to carry on. I was sacrificing my self~respect, my freedom, my self~image, my ambition, my time for spending developing quality relationships with myself & others. I was also sacrificing my youth. I felt like I had a huge expanse of time ahead of me to play with & that my life would turn out wonderful just by itself. I thought drinking was a great past time & I loved the escape but I couldn't see for the longest time that it was killing me emotionally, crippling my coping skills & stopping me from maturing & growing up in a self~loving & self~investing way. I was full of love for life, people & possibilities as a young person though incredibly scared & wanting to be loved too. It wasn't too long before those years quickly slipped into the next & I realised I'd been treading water for 7years.

They pass you by BAM|FLASH just like that, T2S & the beauty of it is that you can stop & still enjoy life if not even more so. Alcohol taught me to only be able to have fun in certain ways & it was so limiting for how I really wanted to be free which is what I thought alcohol was giving to me. It's hard to be a person & learn about ourselves & nothing stands in the way of that more than the fuzzy false reality that alcohol induces. If you're having psychological problems you need lots of care, nurturing & loving to pull you through getting to know & love yourself. The fellowship of AA is a great opportunity for that & you'll meet lots of people who'll hold their hand out to you & take yours knowing that they were like you in their early days too. You don't have to mess through the next few years to wake up one day & wish you hadn't. Having your youth in sobriety can be a real gift & I'm personally glad you've got the option! Good luck & prayers for you. We're all here to listen & share with you. Keep coming back & letting us know how it's going. Great to meet you, Danielle x

jonijoni · MIP Old Timer

Welcome to MIP!
I was already getting into trouble by the time I was 18, and it seems like only yesterday. The problem is, that trouble followed me into my 20's and throughout, because my own alcoholism was deceiving me, and doing push-up's with every drink I took. I got into all sorts of horrifying things because alcohol took away my ability to make good decisions. And I think I drank because I was not truly happy with who I was, and I wanted to have 'fun', and most of all, I wanted to escape from reality. The result was not fun, only heartache.

I could go on and on, but like others here have suggested, it would be a good idea to find out for yourself if you are an alcoholic. Doctors and family members may seem out-of-date or simply "old and worried", but they really can often see the signs when we can't see them.

In my early 20's, I had some great times with teens and other young people in sobriety. We went to sober dances, meetings together, started bands and played music at dry clubs, had all-night sober parties, and stayed up all hours at local diners drinking coffee and laughing. All this, while we were learning how to live better lives SOBER, in AA.

Please check out the young peoples meetings in your area. It is worth a shot. The alternative to getting sober now, might just be to go through some of the horrors I and my family have gone through. I could easily have died, as many young friends have, before they even got past 25. So give AA a try. It cannot hurt, and may show you a bit more about yourself and life, along with making some real friends.

XOXO
Joni