I have trouble with the disease thing, even after a year. The act of taking a drink is my responsibility/choice- whatever may be driving it and even if it is a disease- oh, hell. I'm not like normal people and that fills me with shame
If you stick around here long enough you'll find that you are just like us! More normal than you think! There is no shame in being an alcoholic.It IS a disease!! I asked my brother whose also in AA if he was pissed that we were alkies. He said..Hell no, Im blessed!!!!!I would have never had the life, family, friends and serenity without it!!!! Keep sharing and stick around! As you work the program you'll find those things like shame, embarrassment and self pity disappear!!! Lani
__________________
"We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have. "
The delusion that we are or presently maybe like normal people has to be smashed. Its the answer not a sentence. Nothing to be ashamed about, When I feel like this I just go to a meeting and I don't feel like that anymore. Simple solution, your not alone and amongst friends and others just like you. If you don't drink, you will find that in most other areas you function as well if not BETTER than normal people. :)
That shame stuff is what others put on you by the way. Thats others perception by people that don't understand alcoholism as a disease. Thats their ignorance, don't let it bother you. Don't bother explaining it to them either, many won't understand for various reasons. Its old ideas or their own connections to alcoholism and their own shame they are projecting outward.. Its not light they are projecting though but shadows.
It's not that complicated, we just learn to live life, in all aspects, love, and have fun without alcohol. Can you imagine that? To me that's part of the first step, imagining that there is life after alcohol and that life is good and can be great (anything you want to work for).
Beachgirl, stick around at least long enough for us to make you laugh.
I am so amazed that people have taken the time to respond to me. I think this is really going to help me... I went to meetings for about a year- I know you are going to tell me to go back. I won't, just yet (notice I didn't say "can't" even tho its how I feel.) My sober friends (all of them are not alcoholics, actually) would be totally supportive, but I hid my drinking self so thoroughly that they don't quite get it. In my heart I know that drinking has led to so many bad consequences. Knowing that this website waits for me unfailingly comforts alot. Thanx
I get the exact same feeling by knowing I CAN go to meetings anytime anywhere. Sometimes just knowing the meetings are here for me gives me enough strength to stay sober. I just know I can stay sober for a day or hang on till I can get to a meeting. I feel bad you don't feel the sameway about meetings but we're glad your here.
If your friends are really your friends they will get it. I know how it feels to be in a double bind like your talking about. Damned if you do and Damned if you don't ;)
My personal experience is that i told my friends what I was going to do and let the ones go that didn't respect my decision. I don't think this works for most people though and it doesn't have to. Thats why AA was anonymous in the first place. Its a very important concept. You can have as much anonymity as you require. Nobody has to know, even your old AA buddies. Find some meetings in another town. If you see somebody there you know, its allright to ask them to respect your anonymity and not to mention to anybody you were there.
The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking. Don't let anything stop you, even old acquaintances in AA. You have an inalienable right to be here and to try to get sober, start a new life and cler up any wreckage of the past and start over. Whatever you think is stopping you, we can work around. All you need is the desire. Come on back :)
I went to meetings for about a year- I know you are going to tell me to go back. I won't, just yet (notice I didn't say "can't" even tho its how I feel.) My sober friends (all of them are not alcoholics, actually) would be totally supportive, but I hid my drinking self so thoroughly that they don't quite get it. In my heart I know that drinking has led to so many bad consequences. Knowing that this website waits for me unfailingly comforts alot. Thanx
so you hid your drinking from your friends, to avoid shame and now you're not wanting to attend meetings because of shame also? Knowing down deep in you r heart, that drinking has produced consequences usually isn't sufficient to bring about the necessary changes in a person so that they won't feel the need to drink again. In your first post you said that you're not feeling good about yourself, what do you plan on doing about that?
