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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Alcoholics Anonymous -> Alcoholics Anonymous -> Removing the Victim
Post Info TOPIC: Removing the Victim
Quetzal


MIP Old Timer

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Removing the Victim
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Don't others see how much I'm hurting? Can't they see I need help? Don't they care?

The issue is not whether others see or care. The issue is whether we see and care about ourselves. Often, when we are pointing a finger at others, waiting for them to have compassion for us, its because we have not fully accepted our pain. We have not yet reached that point of caring about ourselves. We are hoping for awareness in another that we have not yet had.

It is our job to have compassion for ourselves. When we do, we have taken the first step toward removing ourselves as victims. We are on the way to self-responsibility, self-care, and change.

Today, I will not wait for others to see and care; I will take responsibility for being aware of my pain and problems, and caring about myself.

From The Language of Letting Go

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Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~Dr. Seuss
Sobrietyspell


MIP Old Timer

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Thanks for this, Carol. I can be such an emotional drama queen & it's not that my feelings & experience don't matter, for they are my own & for me, it's just that, like the true addict inside me, I can hope for & expect too much from others & totally forget I have it within me to provide for myself if I can remember to relax & let go in the first place. Sometimes when I wantaneeda all it is is an inside grip on desire & if I remember to relax, it's like letting the God in with fulfillment from the inside out. When I forget I have this capability (learned through my program) my co~dependence becomes rife & nothing is enough making me feel even worse. Throwing the baby out with the bathwater I end up seeking approval & in this, denying myself of my own. This program is more selfish than I'd like to think in that I have to nourish myself & stop being so greedy of others. That's the hard bit. The ironic part is that when I'm fulfilling of myself Then I have more to give. But, I can't give too much. Only when tis asked for or required or I can end up exhausted again. I keep myself too busy sometimes. The world will not fall apart if I take some time out. I have to be careful not to do too much lest I have an exhaustion induced anxiety attack (like last night in a meeting, had to go to the toilet) I am not a victim. Only by my own neglect. Self care is so important. This has been my lesson this week. Thanks to my sisters in recovery who helped when I fell over having forgot all of this. I guess I had to suffer before I figured the truth of this out by experience. From today I hope my sharing can be a simple naming of feelings so that I know what I'm going through & don't have to reach fever~pitch where I'm screaming 'silently' for help & attention. Today I feel OK. I feel alone sometimes being single but 1Day@aTime this is what I wanted & felt was necessary for my recovery so in a way I'm q.proud of this progress, when I can give myself some credit! My life's good. Simple, care~free & progressing, gently, slowly, enough. I am glad & grateful I haven't had a drink today. Thanks for your post, Qx It helped me to share. Thanks for listening. Most of all, I'm glad to express myself for me. Anyone else helped is a bonus. I hope you can all share for yourselves too. When we're in bits tis good to be there for each other when we're struggling but the best is when we're there for ourselves. Everything else is a sharing in the joy of recovery. Thanks for being here & coming back. In fellowship, Danielle x

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Progress not perfection.. & Practice makes Progress!
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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Alcoholics Anonymous -> Alcoholics Anonymous -> Removing the Victim