Anybody ever feel positive stress weighing down? As an alcoholic, I have just as much trouble coping with positive stress as I do the negative version. Tomorrow is my last day of class, then Finals, then it is all on me. No more hand-holding, no more kind instructors looking over my shoulder helping me along and encouraging me and complimenting my progress. I start clinicals in a week and a half and I am really nervous.
Being in school means you can take a day off here and there with no recourse. I have indeed done that at times. I rolled leisurely out of bed on some days, grabbed a shower and ran off to class half-disheveled. I am going out into the real world soon though, and I am nervous and full of anxiety.
Don't get me wrong. I am really excited, and grateful. But in some ways, like when I am here at home alone, and needing to get things done around the house, I am "stuck". I am like a deer facing the headlights. This is all about change. This is just another lesson in coping with change, right? This is, just like everything in recovery, just another step toward a brighter tomorrow, right? eeeks... just feeling a littel out-of-sorts, I guess. And this is no time for me to feel a lack of confidence!!! Helpies!!
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~~"It's hard to be hateful when you're grateful."~~
You're gonna make it Joni. You didn't make it this far just on luck, but through ability and determination. Just take each day as they come along, one day at a time. Hang in there, take a deep breath, chant the serenity prayer a few times, and remember 'one day at a time', just "one day at a time".
I CAN share with you that that negative emotional stress can send us into a big slide...right into the pits of hell..and depression...and one can end up being physically and mentally sick, because of it. Been there.
The positive stress...seems to be a motivator...
Even tho we can tire ourselves out, sometimes...and need to put ourselves on stop?
We are alcoholics..and we keep on truckin. Its our nature.
YOU keep on truckin!!
We are not used to all this positive stuff also....its funny...
We can deal much more easily with the negative, then we can with the positive...
I have had instances where...I have sabataged a good thing..just to get back to the familiar..:)
OUCH!!
Keep smilin!!
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Live each day as if it were your last...because tomorrow?
It might be.
healthy stress is a good thing. If you didn't have it, you'd just be another couch potatoe (not that there's anything wrong with that ). You have proven that you can and do rise to the occasion with regularity these days and you will do it when the times comes. But you can't anticipate that until you get there. John Bradshaw has a funny one about when we die and there is two lines. one is to get into heaven and one for the lecture on heaven, and all the codependents get in the line for the lecture because we want to know all about it before we get there (so we can control it lol ).
One of the things that building hi-rise buildings in my teens and twenties taught me was that you can't always know exactly how to accomplish something before you get started on it. You've got to dive in and learn to swim a little bit, with the basic ability that you have and pick it up on the fly. I give that sort of lecture to me carpenters when I see them scratching their heads trying to figure out how to build something new. I tell them that "you can't build it in your head, you've got to get your hands on it and wrestle with it. You can't stare it into submission lol". I know I'm getting thru when I see their eyes roll
JoniJoni, The answer to your question is "YES". Whenever this happens I tend to believe that it is a little "tap" on my shoulder to remind me of my HP/God. All that I have, all that I am I could not be or have without help. It is during these times I am humbled and stop and say a prayer of gratitude. And further with another. This one to say "Will you continue to help me and take me further to where you want me to be?" And lasting ....."If I should get to big for my britches, will you remind me I am powerless and can do nothing without you?" Sobriety was no easy feat for you..... Look how far you have come!! It is certain, that while you had a keen interest in general towards this goal, learning all the details ect didn't come easy. You invested hours of studying. Yet you have done it and earned the grades. You had faith you could accomplish these things. So take some deep slow breaths say a little prayer of gratitude, ask for help and then let go and let HP/God...... Keep faith in prospective. I'm sure you'll be challenged. I also, if I was a bettin' woman, bet you can do it. The best to you, Wanda
Joni, That is such great news! Youre finally growing up!!!! heehee You are going to do great. Youve worked hard and its all going to pay off soon! Dont worry tho, youre not going to be just thrown to the wolves! Now is the time that what you learned will be put into action! With a preceptor who will guide you through the process to make you successful!
You are never alone in your field and you will have people willing to help you all the time. I still ask questions and even the old timers at work ask questions! So relax, pray and know you will not be alone!!!!
You go Joni Girl!!!!!! SOOOOOOOO PROUD OF YOU!!!!!
Lani
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"We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have. "
HiHi, JoniJoni xx Getting the Projectionjittersjitters, hey! lol Nervous, excited, can't believe you luck & wondering if you can live upto it when you've blatantly earned your place with credits! It always used to puzzle me that talented people would get so nervous when it was obvious how capable & amazing they were to everyone else around them. Now I know they got a right to feel nervous about their performance & abilities too. Afterall, we're all 'only' human! I know you going to be grand, Joni. 1Day@aTime. You're a smart cookie & when you get in the saddle you ride like fire. That's my impression anyways ;) I hope you treat yourself well & enjoy the exhiliration until you settle into a new routine. So exciting! I'm really pleased & proud for you. Take it easy, Joni.. Rooting for you! :Danielle x
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Progress not perfection.. & Practice makes Progress!
Thank you so much, friends, for sharing your perspectives, your metaphors, your prayers and your experiences with me. I feel really positive today, and will remember that I only have to live in THIS 24 hours, and do THIS DAY'S tasks at hand. I have a God who will never leave my side, and I have to remember that he is willing at any time to lend me a hand. And I fdon't have to figure things out before I even START!! LOL I just love the supprt here... thank you a million times over!!
Saddling up for the day...... :o)
(((((hugs))))) Joni
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~~"It's hard to be hateful when you're grateful."~~
What you have, you have earned. Isn't it amazing that through "changes" we are blessed with "beginnings". The process still baffles and humbles me everyday.
I am in a constant state of wonderment of where I am today. My journey becomes more and more of an adventure everyday. What I once thought impossible, quitting drinking and using, what had once crippled me with fear, slipping further and further away with the belief that it was totally and truly impossible for me to ever quit .... somehow changed and my life began.
Strength that I never had, I have. Peace that I never had, I have. Because of this program I somehow miraculously stopped drinking and using long enough to let my higher power into my life ... and I have never been alone since.
Thanks for being here today Joni. You are a constant beacon of hope and inspiration to all of us. Keep coming back
). You have proven that you can and do rise to the occasion with regularity these days and you will do it when the times comes. But you can't anticipate that until you get there. John Bradshaw has a funny one about when we die and there is two lines. one is to get into heaven and one for the lecture on heaven, and all the codependents get in the line for the lecture because we want to know all about it before we get there (so we can control it lol ). 
