Hello, I am Phillip

1phillip · Newbie

Hello, I am Phillip

eastcoastscott · Senior Member

Hi Philip,

Welcome to this site, I think you will like it. Like you, I am rather new to this, so from a newbie...I'll tell you what seems to be working for me. I had the same trouble with God, due to bad experiences as a child, ie. being forced to go to church etc. Forget about God for now. The main thing about AA is it offers you a way to:

1) give up drinking/using
2) accept that you have a problem and are WILLING to do something about it, with some help
3) explore your inner self emotionally, what make you tick, how you cope (or don't) with life
4) with the newly revealed baggage that you found in the previous step, understand it...and get rid of it!
5) tell people that you've harmed that you are sorry and doing something about your life
6) help others to do what you've done...because you have become a better person!

Some people can probably just go to meetings and stay sober. I think most of us have tried this and hey, look what happens!
Going to meetings, doing the steps and getting a sponsor can keep you sober....AND give you a way to become a happy, caring sane and content guy.......make sense?

I'm starting Step 4 today, wish me luck!!!
Scott

lani · MIP Old Timer

Welcome Phillip:
Sorry about you losing your job...your not the first one on here that happened too! Happened to me and now Im currently at a wonderful new place and enjoying it! Hope you find what you need here! Keep sharing and we'll see you around.
Lani

Quetzal · MIP Old Timer

Hi Phillip,

Welcome to MIP.

I, too, wasn't sure about the God aspect of AA and it stopped me going for a while. But, in the end my drinking was so out of control that I had to do something about it. I discovered that AA isn't a religious program, but a spiritual one. And, I can take the parts of AA that work for me and leave the rest.

But with the help of AA I can stay sober one day at a time and I have my self-respect and self-pride back again.

You could always try 'phoning your local AA and just chat about how you feel and the God aspect of things. But, it's up to you.

Please keep posting and letting us know how things are going for you, won't you?

Take care,

Carol

StPeteDean · MIP Old Timer

Hi Phillip and welcome.

Congrats on doing it on your own for 2 years. Just keep in mind though that alcoholism is a progressive disease (whether you are drinking or not), so what worked a few years ago may not work in the future. I don't know what kind of experience that you've had with going to meetings, but apparently you didn't go to enough to find one that suits you. Meetings are fairly uniform but are also diverse in their size and demographics of their particular membership, for example young people or beginners meetings vs. a 50 year old meetings (the age of the meeting not members) with mostly senior citizens with 20-60 years of sobriety. I've also attended 7:30 am morning meetings, 12 noon downtown meetings and 5:30pm meetings where mostly professionals attend, even doctors only meetings (which are pretty rare). But most meetings are a cross section of society and I think that that's the big shocker for most when they attend their first several meetings because of perceived stereo types.
I've sat next to circuit court judges, nfl players, and baseball hof'ers that were sitting next to homeless people.
And have seen homeless people there were living in dumpsters, get sober and finish law school and go on to have an amazing career (true story).

Am I telling you to go to a meeting? No, I'm more inclined to tell you to go out and drink for awhile longer until you're ready to take your recovery to the next level. Because this disease is progressive, there is no such thing as just maintaning sobriety. We must continue growing as a person or we will backslide and eventually begin drinking (as you've experienced) or have "dry drunks" which are a mental state equivilent to what we had while drinking. There is no cure for this disease, it's a day to day challenge. Is my sobriety strong enough to deal with living life on life's terms? Anyone that has been sober for awhile (18 years in my case) has lost a few jobs, been though a divorce, or lost a spouse to illness, lost a business, been through a bankruptcy, major medical problems, terminal diseases, gone to war.... and stayed sober. That's the strength that we find in this program, that no matter what you're going thru presently, many in here have already been there and done that, and stayed sober, because we know that no matter what unfortunate situation life serves up to us, drinking over it will make it a whole lot worse.

-- Edited by StPeteDean at 09:35, 2008-02-01

Sobrietyspell · MIP Old Timer

Welcome to MIP, Phillip. I have heard it said at a meeting that God may push you out of the rooms but drink will push you back in. Developing a sense of a Higher Power can be a slow & gradual process & it is always something to your own understanding. This has been the beauty of it for me. I had no tangible faith of this kind when I first came around. I'd all but lost hope & thought that everything that had gone before was how it was going to be for my future. When I first went to meetings it was people's honesty that touched me & began to melt my cynicism. I kept an open mind because I didn't want to be ruled by my cynicism forever. Resentments & negativity were painful for me, against my better values & I knew that I couldn't function on them forever as they'd made my world dark despite the idealism, hope & optimism I'd been born with. I couldn't sustain these ideals with the bite of my experiences & the quality of my life ~ me ~ had been poisoned & was continuing to be so by all the drink I'd ingested. It was like an abomination of my true spirit & I could never quite attain the confidence I'd always wanted & sought. Drink was not the answer for me & when it came to it I found I couldn't stop on my own. I needed help. Initially the collective power of being part of the fellowship of A.A. was my Higher Power. They re~lit my flame. Eventually I learned it was inside me & lightable all along but again I needed help. I have a strong Higher Power of my own understanding today. Even with this I am not 'God' & I will always need to & hopefully want to draw on the help of others i.e. those working a program to help, teach, inspire & influence me in working mine. For me this means continuous contact in meetings & online with A.A. fellowship. For you, you will find your own way & a way that's most comfortable for you. Take what you like & leave the rest. We didn't get to be the way we are in a day & so recovery may also take many days of progress not perfection 1Day@aTime. Already you being honest with us here shows an open~mindedness & willingness to take care of yourself & accept help. As you say, I hope you keep coming back & sharing with us. I hope you work for & win the sobriety you desire deep in your heart. Forgive my sentimental language. I want the best for you, Danielle :)

Wren · Senior Member

Hey Philip, welcome to MIP.

It's alot easier to slay a dragon if you have the village helping you than to go out with a fork and try it by yourself.

This is a spiritual, not a religious, program. I am not a religious person at all. I do not go to church. I have a Higher Power of my understanding, and within my understanding, my HP is not biblical. Nobody expects you to go to a meeting and immediatly grasp a higher power concept. But it does help to be with others, to listen to the similarities in their stories, and to get some guidance in staying sober.

I have a friend who's been sober for 28 yrs. now. He stopped going to AA about ten years ago, and strictly goes to church. No step work, no service work. And I tell ya, I get letters from him and he is one unhappy person. Says he's doing great, but if that's great, spare me greatness.

Carol mentioned just calling somebody on the AA hotline and talking to them. It's a good idea, but we all do what we need to do, until we realize that just maybe, there is an answer out there. And the answer lies within fellowship with other alcoholics. I think one of the biggest and most important way to stay sober is in helping others, sharing with others, our experience, strength and hope. How we stay sober. So as you learn what works for you, sharing it with others is how you will keep it. This board is a great tool, but immediate support is so important. I wish you the very best of luck, and hope to see you here often. Wren

Doll · MIP Old Timer

1phillip wrote:

The main reason I never tried AA before is I do not believe in god.....

You don't have to believe in God. But you do have to believe in a power greater than yourself for AA to work. ...If your deadset against AA, why not explore other sobriety programs? Like Y.E.S. Or seek a therapist who specializes in addiction.....

Welcome to MIP.