One of the supervisors at my job appears to have gone off the deep end......He was my direct sup a couple years ago and was well respected by all. Early this yr he had to have his knees replaced. He was out for quite a while. When he came back, he was different......He now appears to have highs and lows, he literally dances in the aisles of our cubicles, he sings to the top of lungs with the overhead music (and most times makes up his own words) and the rumors are flying that he's having an affair with someone from another deptartment (he's married with children). My co-workers constantly make fun of him, these days, and laughed that he needed an 'intervention.' Too many painkillers is the gossip.....I stay away from character assaniation, but we all work so physically close, I hear the name calling and see the finger pointing.....He misses a lot of work, too & that reenforces the co-worker bad behavior...... Steering clear of the gossip no longer suffices for me. I find that I literally cringe when I observe his unruley, out of character behavior, and my heart aches for him..... A while back, I approached a friend of mine who's climbed the management ladder as of late and asked had she (or other managers) noticed his 'odd' behavior. She assured me it had been brought to the 'big whigs' attention and it was being handled. My opinion, nothing has been addressed......maybe they wish to sweep it under the rug. Maybe they don't know what to do. Maybe they don't care.....I just know I ache for him and pray for his well being and an answer of what I should do.....
He's a wonderful man and was at one time a great leader.....
Thanks for letting me share..........
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Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass... It's about learning to dance in the rain.
Wow Doll, that is indeed a really tough situation. I can understand and envision the whole scenario, as I have worked in a corporate office as well, in close quarters. Gossip and such run rampant indeed! It can be brutal. (I myself was the brunt of much gossip in the workplace, in sobriety!) All I can say is "trust that it is being handled". Remember that ALL things are being handled, from the REAL "Biggest of Big Whigs". Have you tried praying for your company and this man and your co-workers? Just a suggestion, as sometimes when we are 'in the box', we forget to think outside it.
And also, perhaps the company will be making changes AFTER the New Year? Perhaps they are hiring or considering others to fill the position? Or considering offering him treatment... ? There are many possibilities, but in the meantime, I feel for your situation, and for this man, and will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
Joni
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~~"It's hard to be hateful when you're grateful."~~
tough one Doll, what about writting him an anon letter telling him about how much his personality has changed, that his erratic behavior is idicative of a substance abuse problem, and that he might consider seeking prof. heip. I'd add that you deeply respected and admired the "real" him and would like to work with that person again.
The super at my former job pretty much did the same thing. This all happened AFTER I left. He was sort of shy especially around women. Married and two sons. He was a kind gentle man. Then according to what was told me---upon her entering this place a cute little brunette caught his eye. She began flirting. From what was detected she was trying to earn herself a higher position quickly. I never knew him as a drinker let alone skirt chaser. Serveral who seen what was happening attempted to avert this potential disaster. Their comments, concern for well being,ect. fell on deaf ears. Mistress got a position in another town with same agency. He followed, leaving his wife and two sons behind. Within a year......mistress moved on....leaving this man. He became so depressed he attempted suicide and ended up in a mental facility for a time. Attempted reconciliation with wife.... didn't work. Not clear as to why so many moves, but he held serveral positions within this agency yet all were in different towns. I was simply stunned by all this. He had talked of his wife and boys. She was pretty and seemed very nice the one and only time I had met her. Most especially the suicide attempt seemed very out of character. He had it all and seemed so strong. When I took time off to get married, he had wished me well. He was one of my trainers to become parttime super. He answered ALL my questions most especially ones about computer data. (I knew nothing about computers at the time and while I did not have to deal directly with them, there was massive data with codes ect. I needed to know.) Couldn't say that about the other man training me. He died very recently. It was sad to think how he had changed after I left. Apparently however there was some sort of a reconcilation between him and his ex. Her name was mentioned among survivors in the obit. Sometimes there are just things out of our control! We can only do so much and the rest ...... leave to HP. Wanda
ive been in a few situations watching someone destroy their life. a close friend of mine said thats its kinda like watching someone drown and you cant jump in to save them cause like phil says you get dragged down too. i try to remember what my son said to me once (he has been raised in recovery) when i was upset over someones self-destructive behaviour. he said "jeez, Mom, everyone gets to make choices". its a great thing to have compassion, and never underestimate the power of prayer. bless u
I know how difficult that must be to watch, and to add other people's cruelty and ignorance doesn't help.
In my experience, there is nothing more difficult than watching someone doing something wrong, and having to sit on my hands.
Like Phil said, often any attempt at 'helping' fails abysmally. I often remember that 'no good deed goes unpunished'!
I do believe in the power of prayer, and that my higher power does have a plan for each and every one of us.
I don't know what his plan is for your former supervisor, but have faith it is in the works.
(((hugs)))
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"There is a principle which is a bar against all information, which is proof against all arguements and which cannot fail to keep a man in everlasting ignorance-that principle is contempt prior to investigation."
~Herbert Spencer
Hi Dol, Some great words of wisdom here for you. Like Phil says: "when we learn compassion" its hard to watch people hurting. Upon reading your post, the first thought before I saw it that came to mind was, painpills! Very sad how something that is suppose to help us thru can hinder us so much in the long run.
I also agree with Dean. Somehow, someway, you have to communicate your concern to him directly. My thinking is, if there is someway I can help someone, without being a pest or nag about it, Im going to do it. Maybe he isnt even aware of his crazy behavior.
Did you ever have a situation where after youd think..."in hindsight if I would have said something in the first place, none of this would have happened? I think of times that after the fact people have said to me .."oh, I WAS gonna say something but it wasnt my business"
I dont know, thats a tough one. I will def pray for you on this one.
A nurse friend had a bad drug problem and got in trouble for her actions. We used to go out and smoke together. After the fact she said that she wanted to tell me so bad what was going on but wasnt sure how to bring it up. Didnt want to ask for help. Maybe things would have been different had she said something. From that experience I tend to ask people if they seem irritable or sad, "whats up!" They wont always share but maybe it gives them the opportunity to open up and share where they otherwise might not have. Just a thought!!!! Prayers to ya, Lani
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"We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have. "
One of the catalyst to me getting into the rooms was a comment that a friend said to me. He said "you're sick and you need help". Sometimes a few words can cause someone to become aware, even if it's a while later.
