I sat in the car, looking at the sign on the door of the food shelf office: "Closed until Friday." It was Wednesday. I had two hungry children and myself; I had no money.
I laid my head on the steering wheel. I couldn't take it anymore.
I had been so strong, so brave, so trusting for so long. I was a single parent with two children, recently divorced. I had worked so courageously at being grateful for what I had, while setting financial goals and working at believing I deserved the best.
I had put up with so much poverty, so much deprivation. Daily, I worked the Eleventh Step. I worked so hard at praying for knowledge of God's will for me only, and the power to carry it through. I believed I was doing what I needed to do in my life. I wasn't lollygagging. I was doing my best, working my hardest.
And there just wasn't enough money. Life had been a struggle in many ways, but the financial struggle seemed endless.
Money isn't everything, but it takes money to solve certain problems. I was sick of "letting go" and "letting go" and "letting go." I was sick of "acting as if" I had enough money. I was tired of having to work so hard daily at letting go of the pain and fear about not having enough. I was tired of working so hard at being happy without having enough. Actually, most of the time I was happy. I had found my soul in poverty. But now that I had my soul and my self, I wanted some money too.
While I sat in the car trying to compose myself, I heard God speak to me in that silent, still voice that whispers gently to our souls.
"You don't ever have to worry about money again, child. Not unless you want to. I told you that I would take care of you. And I will."
Great, I thought. Thanks a lot. I believe you. I trust you. But look around. I have no money. I have no food. And the food shelf is closed. You've let me down.
Again I heard His voice in my soul: "You don't have to worry about money again. You don't have to be afraid. I promised to meet all your needs.
I went home, called a friend, and asked to borrow some money. I hated borrowing, but I had no choice. My breakdown in the car was a release, but it didn't solve a thing - that day. There was no check in the mailbox.
But I got food for the day. And the next day. And the next. Within six months, my income doubled. Within nine months, it tripled. Since that day, I have had hard times, but I have never had to go without - not for more than a moment in time.
Now, I have enough. Sometimes I still worry about money because that seems to be habitual. But now I know I don't have to, and I know I never did.
God, help me work hard at what I believe is right for me in my life today, and I'll trust You for the rest. Help me let go of my fears about money. Help me turn that area over to You. God. Take away the blocks and barriers in my life to financial success.
From The Language of Letting Go
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Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~Dr. Seuss
"God, help me work hard at what I believe is right for me in my life today, and I'll trust You for the rest. Help me let go of my fears about money. Help me turn that area over to You. God. Take away the blocks and barriers in my life to financial success."
~ Thy will, not mine. Amen.
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Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass... It's about learning to dance in the rain.
Can relate, going through some finacial difficulties my self rite now and well as frustratin as it is, I too have a problem of what ya call pride.
I don't like asking for help but if needed, wellllllll GOD works in mysterious ways and we all go through at one point or other. I myself don't like the fact of owing others money, and have a hard time asking for help, even when it is offered.
That is something I do have to work on, and will one day at a time.
It's a scary time for those of us in the housing industry. I've learned that the company that I work for that has long been hurting is probably going to go belly up. At the very least my hours which were between 20 and 30 per week will be less. My boss can't afford me but he screws things up and I'm the only guy who can fix stuff and make the customers happy. Today I went over to my ex's cousin to see if I could hustle up some side work. He was running a satellite office for a mortgage company and they let him go and he had to go back to working in a jeweler store, had to sell he Corvette (his baby) and his wife Karen had to get a job. So he's hurting worse then me as they've burned through their savings. I've got money in the bank and a truck full of tools but working the hustle is stressful especially since it looks like the economy is fixing to take a big dump. Went to a noon meeting which I never go to and the secretary asked me to share the meeting. It's been a while since I shared a meeting, years. But I did and It made me feel a lot better. Bob.
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Work like you don't need the money
Love like you've never been hurt, and
dance like no one is watching.
Hi All, Happy turkey day!! I can so relate to financial struggles. Had I not been in this program and totally depended and trusted my higher power, things wouldnt have turned out as good as they have... I was scared to death when I lost my job! Thought it was the worst thing that could have happened to me! Turned out, it was the best thing for ME and my family. We were at a point in our financial lives, where God did provided for us the month I was off!
I had TIME to work on me and go to meetings 1,2,or 3 times a day! I really needed that being new! Im sure I would have been a drunk, miserable mess if it werent for AA and H>P>!! Now I have a job I love and some sense of peace!
Applied for unemployment, got denied and fought it. Yesterday I found out the decision was reversed and I should be getting a nice check for 5 weeks! I didnt expect it at all and what a nice surprise!! The key to all of this? I totally let go and let God work in my life! I prayed that his will, not mine, be done! What blessings have been bestowed upon me!!! Today I am thankful for all of these gifts! Mostly for the gift of sobriety!! Certainly couldnt have done it on my own!!
Have a great day!! Lani
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"We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have. "
