We in AA and other 12 Step groups hear,,,  do not live in the wreckage of the future. 

I used to think that just meant that it will happen when it happens and there is nothing we can do about it so why worry or do anything about it when it is hopeless and later.  but I am learning to see that differently now.

I have spent so much time in the 'now' regretting the past and wishing I could change it, and dreading the future and wanting to just escape from it somehow, that I haven't maximized my Present.  Yet it is only in the Present that we can do anything about our past,  whether make amends, recover, celbrate and/or learn from it.  It is only in the Present that I can do anything to affect my future.  There are a lot of factors that I can't control, but I can try to make the best of my 'now' right now,  do my best with whatever situation I'm in.

Right now I can make a decision to drink, or not - just for now, but I know that will affect my future.  Right now I can decide to do something constructive or throw a hissy fit, or sit and feel sorry for myself, or hmmm  what else?  and each thing will affect my future. 

I can choose, right now, to just stay in my rut of stinking thinking, and the rut always ends up in the same place,   or to try some new thing I've learned from AA, get out of the rut and go to the next level....   work my Steps...   God, please take away some defect and take me to the next level.   That takes work and is strange territory. Do I prefer my rut?  The fork in the road.. which direction I take will affect my future.

I can't control what other people do,, and they affect my future too.  I can't control the weather, and that affects the future too.  I can only make a decision to do the best thing I can think of to do in my Now. 

Do I really know what will happen in my future?  Maybe some things.   But am I sure it is going to be a wreck?  Maybe some of the things I dread won't happen. Maybe some things I dread will happen, but it will turn out alright.    But there is such a thing as 'self-fulfilling prophecies' too.

A self-fulfilling prophecy is when I think something will happen and then I act in such a way that I make it happen.   For example:     I'm afraid I'm going to get fired from my job,,,  I know I'm going to get fired from this job.   So I'm not going to go any more because it is useless.    Another example:    I'm afraid Jack is mad at me.  I'm really sure he is mad at me, and I didn't do anything to him.  He is really a jerk to be mad at me when I didn't do anything.  Jack walks in smiling.  I say, "Jack , you are such a jerk!"

love in recovery,

amanda