forgive me if I've posted something like this before and I'm repeating myself (you see I have this little drinking problem and my memory isn't so good)...
What was I talking about again??? Oh yeah, I cant pray...I am not an atheist and I believe that there is definitely forces in the world more powerful than myself but I just cant force myself to "pray" to them or to anything for that matter. I wasn't always like this, I was raised catholic and as a child and young adult I prayed a great deal. But I had a spiritual awakening that caused my stomach to turn at the thought of anything to do with religion, organized or otherwise. Nothing terrible happened to me, one day I just had an epiphany that opened my eyes to all the evil, misery and suffering that religion has caused and in an instant I completely abandoned it and have never prayed since. Not sincerely anyway...now I just mouth the words, "God grant me the serenity blah blah blah..."
So tell me this smarty pants, if the only way for this program to succeed for me involves praying to something that I'm incapable of praying to does that mean I'm hooped? Because if it does I'd like to know before I miss happy hour down at the Blarney Stone
Even when you don't 'mouth' the words, something out there hears your heart....
You can pray for anything.... "Help me pray" is a good place to start.
The first prayer I ever said getting sober was, "Make me willing". I didn't even mean it at first. But slowly but surely I somehow, some way, became willing. And prayer started meaning something. Didn't matter who it was to, the praying, at first... sounds like you do believe ther eis something out there more powerful than you... that's all that matters.... kit doesn't need a name or a bunch of characteristics.
I heard someone on this post... I think Quetzal maybe... saying that her sponsor said to write down all the qualities she admired in a best friend, or someone she felt really safe with and loved by. Then to make those qualities her Higher Power.
A lot of AA stuff isn't as "profound" right away as we come here expecting it to be. But it works, it really does.
I could sinceley pray to a Higher Power When I was bent over a toilet bowel...or anytime the Sheet hit the fan...but other than that? When I first started attending meetings..Ide hear that God stuff..turn around and walk right out the door...
The only thing I was capable of for a long time...was not picking up a drink today...and draggin my butt to meetings
And slowly... as Joni mentioned I started faking the Higher Power bit...and it eventually kicked in..spiritually...
Good Orderly Direction..was the only thing this kid could handle...
Good to see yu back Tip...I mean that sincerely..
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"LOVE" devoid of self-gratification, is in essence, the will, to the greatest good...of another.
You are not alone in what you believe. I am an agnostic. Still trying to even decide what/who is out there (if there is anything at all).
I also have to agree that every organized religion has left me pretty turned off with the behavior of its adherents over the centuries, an particularly with the three major monotheistic religions of today.
I also figured out, however, that, because of that, I still don't have to totally reject the idea that there might, just MIGHT, be some sort of "force" in the universe which is maybe far outside of our concepts of good or evil which I can relate to. I will "pray", or otherwise try to channel with that force, as a means of meditation, to find some serenity in this chaos (or, as we used to say in the 60's, "Peace out, Man!" ).
The key to the religion thing in AA, is that I don't have to believe what others do when we are together, any more than they have to believe in my "religion". Tolerance is one of the "biggies" that we remind everyone, is important in maintaining sobriety. True tolerence, that is, not just gritting our teeth and "putting up with it", but accepting that we don't all have to think the same.
Something else from my long hair days...."let it be, let it be...crystal words of wisdom, let it beeeeeee........." (Paul McCartney-1971) Peace in recovery, Dan
Praying for me wasn't natural at all. I, too, went to a church run school but found the God element of AA a little too much for me. My sponsor suggested that I kneel to pray as it was something that had worked for her. The first few times that I tried it I felt a little foolish, but as I so wanted to stay sober I was willing to try anything. It did slowly start to work for me. As Joni said: "Fake it til you make it". Also, I used 'God' to stand for Group Of Drunks and by praying I felt that I was asking for their help.
Take care,
Carol
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Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~Dr. Seuss
One of my favorites is: "Religion is for those who Fear Hell, Spirituality is for those that have already been there".
Hope I won't offend anyone here, but for me, I am a "Recovering Catholic".
My own Recovery, after 10 years of Relapsing in this Program, because I ablsolutely could not grasp the 12 Steps, and the Progression of this Disease had me looking at what felt like the inside of a grave that was there for me. Out of that desperation, I did ask a completely mysterious God, to show me - a different way.
Today, I love God, with all my heart, and believe that this Higher Power Greater than myself, is the force that drives my life today, one day at a time.
That force remains somewhat mysterious, I try to never engage in conversations about my own beliefs, the only thing that I do believe is that this Great Mysterious Force has helped me stay sober, one day at a time, for what will be 17 years on September 12, this year. And I believe that this Power Greater than myself is the Guiding force for most of my fellow Recovering Brothers and Sisters, in this Great Program.
Joseph Campbell, a very famous Philsopher and Acient Religions scholar, once said, that at the Core of all Religions they had the answer, (or maybe it was the CORRECT supplication), but all the various groups, of believers, whether it be of the Major or Minor variety, messed that up, with their own version of the Dogma that "THEY" attached to that Seeking.
Prayer to me, remains a Supplication, or a Beseeching of that Power Greater than myself, And with that, I can look back at my years as a Drunk, and my Sober years, and separate my two distinctly different lifes, with, "I Can't, He Can, and I let Him".
A Big Welcome back to you, and I know I have to say that quitely, in a Whisper, haha. (From Your Response to me). I hope you STAY here. Shhhh!
"Religion is for those who Fear Hell, Spirituality is for those that have already been there"
You people have a lot of good material you know that...I am really enjoying hearing your take on things. Where do you people get this stuff? Some AA re-education/concentration camp somewhere?
I am so glad you are here!! You have a wonderful sense of humor!!!
i am struggling right now with sleep-deprivation due to my husband's job... up and down, in and out of the house all night... dog barking and cat fussing around, alarms and phones going off... I feel like I am in a pinball machine... then I get on here nad see that gorilla face and read some of these posts and I have to laugh.... thanks!
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