'The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over & over again & expecting different results"
That's what I was doing. Going to meetings full of folks whose lives had improved so much after getting sober. Meanwhile, I'm one of a handful whose life actually got worse after sobriety. Whenever it came my time to talk it would be the same "I'm sober but my life sucks even worse now" spiel. I approach this as a program of honesty, brushing aside 'we act as if' and 'fake it 'til you make it". I stop playing make-believe a long time ago.
Don't get me wrong, I am VERY grateful for my sobriety and AA introducing me to a higher power of perserverence. My thinking is a lot better than it was 4 years ago, but nothing else has changed. My life is barely worth living and talking about it doesn't do me a damn bit of good. The same thing, over and over again.
Yesterday, I went to my Sunday morning meeting. The topic? "What successes have you had since becoming sober?" And then the testimonials started. Deep sea fishing trips, cruises to Hawaii, getting a new floor with tile from Morocco ... so many AA meetings are prosperity gospel sermons. I stood up, waved to a couple of fellow members, and walked out, making the decision to not return. I realized earlier tonight was that I had had enough. I was tired of doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
So I will not attend AA meetings anymore despite the fact that I am grateful to God and to AA for my sobriety, which I intend to keep.
__________________
Constantly praying this : "God, help me deal with my %@#+ed up self." Sober since 7-19-19
(The editing feature doesn't seem to work, so to clarify - the different result was being able to share something worth sharing, not the same old shit.
__________________
Constantly praying this : "God, help me deal with my %@#+ed up self." Sober since 7-19-19
Pentru juctorii noi din Romānia, cazinouri care platesc cazinouri care platesc ofer bonusuri de bun venit atractive, inclusiv rotiri suplimentare, bonusuri la depunere i alte privilegii. Acest lucru creeaz condiii favorabile pentru a īncepe cltoria de joc.