I'm coming back from a relapse in December and I have about 4 1/2 months sober. Yesterday, my sponsor told me the anger that's been coming up for me is understandable, because I "haven't been working a program". I'm in school and have mostly been procrastinating on my 4th step, but I do go to 8-10 meetings a week and almost always share at all of them. I also have three service positions. I'm just upset, because I've always felt intimidated by my sponsor's sobriety. They have 3 years and a good routine in terms of praying, meditating, writing, connecting with others, etc. along with having gone through the steps multiple times (all things I haven't been doing very well) Yet, I feel like saying I'm not working a program is equivalent to saying I'm not doing anything for my sobriety, which is simply not true (I spend at least ~10 hours a week on AA related things) I'm just posting this here, because it's been bothering me and I'm trying to give up the resentment I have towards them. I know my sponsor is partially right in their assessment, but I wanted to get input on what it means to be not be working a program and whether my sponsor is 100% correct.
Consider getting a new sponsor. He sounds more interested in comparing his recovery routine to yours and feeling superior than in helping you.
AA is a program of suggestions. All parts are suggestions, even getting a sponsor and working the steps. Anyone who is (1) abstaining from booze, (2) connecting with other AA members, and (3) taking suggestions of those with longer-term sobriety is absolutely working the AA program, regardless of the number or type of suggestions being taken or the speed of progress. Someone who is taking several of the most important foundational suggestions of the program (using a sponsor, going to meetings, being of service, working the steps) is obviously working a program.
To give up the resentment, I suggest praying for him and practicing acceptance. We're all here because we're not all there. Including someone who tries to be Captain AA 24/7.
-- Edited by Scott J on Thursday 12th of May 2022 09:51:40 PM
-- Edited by Scott J on Friday 13th of May 2022 12:58:11 PM
