to Rob,,,  just to remind you that each person on this board speaks for him or herself only, and we all are entitled to our own and differing opinions.  Since it is a program of progress and not perfection,,,  I don't think any of us has actually shit yet. We are all still on the pot, grunting.

I don't see you the same way,,,  and I don't have the 'shit or get off the pot' attitude.  I've seen too many people struggle for a long time, and go in and out, and get second and third and fourth chances,,,  and have seen people in the program being patient while each person goes through what they have to go through. I have also seen very self-righteous people who forget...  but we are all entitled to have our opinions.

take what you need and leave the rest.

nuff said,

love to all, in recovery,

amanda

-- Edited by amanda2u2 at 14:20, 2006-04-25

I do understand Rob...

But yu know Bud? Its like driving a car from point A to point B...and never getting there....

Its takes guts to put that bottle down ..one day at a time...

I had to go to a meeting...every day of the week...thats how sick I was...

Talking about it..and action..are 2 different things my freind..

One has to go to any lengths...

So start the car buddy....and get it movin eh?  no excuses....

 

This is a Disease of Isolation. At my end my world had gotten very small, I only hung out with a few drinking buddys. I mainly drank at home cause I didn't want to get another drunk driving. I was introverted even as a small child, I was just born that way.
There's a guy in my home group, really nice guy, he had about 3 years had a couple of sponsees and was well respected in the fellowship. He went back out, he'd show up at the meeting all tore up raise his hand and say he had 2 days or 2 hours and this went on for 3 years, sometime he wouldn't show for a month or more and then he'd drad himself in and it just broke ones heart. He had some of the real oldtimers of the group trying to help him find his way back. YOu know what happened to him? A MIRACLE he finally got it and found his was back, He just picked up his 3 year chip and he's the treasurer for the group. So hang in there my friend, we all have different experiences with meeting, when I went to my first meeting I had my one and only spiritual experience. I was looking around the room trying to find the differences so I could leave and not come back, but in every persons eyes I saw a reflection of myself. Then the a voice from that quiet place that's dep inside each of us said to me. "This is a place where you can make your stand".
That voice that that talks you out of going to meetings, that your disease, it's afraid.
Recovery can be a scarey place, it's hard to face your fears and short comings. It's one thing to say I'm a piece of shit but quite another to admit the exact nature of our wrongs.
Well Good luck. Bob.

Hey Everybody,  I havent posted for a while--but im still sober!!! Rob I just Wanna say,  I love u in the spirit of recovery!!! It takes what it takes untill you get it.  I would like to emphazie that RELAPSE IS NOT PART OF RECOVERY! The recovery process ceases.  This is something that you have to do for yourself and not anyone else,  yeagh gettin honest with yourself is a necessity,  the steps are very simple,  its me as a alcoholic that complicates them,  its also the ism part of my disease that is waiting to kick my a** and it tells me that I can have that 1 drink.It wants to keep me sick.  It also states in how it works that half measures availed us nothing and the result was nil untill we let go absolutley! The first 3 steps are about admission Rob answer yourself not me or anyone else,  Do u truely believe in your heart that u r powerless over King Alcohol??? And that your life is unmanagable????? Recovery..........has to come from within the heart.  I defeat my ism's by pickin up that 500p phone and sharing with another alcoholic and GOING TO ANY LENGTH  to stay sober, because for me I truely believe that if i drink/use again I will DIE in more ways than1. Just keep commin back, and Hey if u dont drink-- u dont get drunk!!!!!! Rob please give yourself a break and read the last paragraph on pg 164 of the B/B,  then after that a suggestion read the other 163 pgs.

Thanks for the 'repost' Pickle ... yes indeed, we DO have a rich 'history here ... many lessons tried and true, huh??? ... ... ...

Tanin wrote:

---

Phil wrote:

---

I do understand Rob...

But yu know Bud? Its like driving a car from point A to point B...and never getting there....

Its takes guts to put that bottle down ..one day at a time...

I had to go to a meeting...every day of the week...thats how sick I was...

Talking about it..and action..are 2 different things my freind..

One has to go to any lengths...

So start the car buddy....and get it movin eh?  no excuses....

---

Just came across this story about Rob. It reminds me of some of the recent situations of some of our newcomers. Same kind of problems. Similar expressions of encouragement...

Things don't change very much. 2006 seems to be pretty much what we have here in 2016.

Rob's story, despite much support and good advice, doesn't turn out well. He simply did not wish to go to meetings.

Phil's story, despite much sobriety, confidence and knowledge, doesn't turn out much differently. He also came to eschew meetings.

These stories are good lessons for me. I find that reading the stories in AA quite beneficial.

 

-- Edited by Tanin on Friday 15th of July 2016 07:28:14 PM

---

 "Faith without works is dead." ....at least it is for me.

Only going to meetings won't keep me sober. Working the program and going to meetings will. And there are some folks, some on this board, who have shared that they do not attend meetings and are staying sober. I cannot do that. I think it is individual. I have a friend who doesn't have a Higher Power, never worked the Steps, hardly attends meetings at all and has managed to stay sober for several years. This person was an everyday, very heavy drinker. I think to myself...."what's that all about? How is it possible?" This individual also never gripes about what other people "do" to him...(and I am not the only alcoholic who is guilty of that). He goes with the flow and doesn't get angry at things which, if they happened to me, would make me furious. I tell him...."Hey Joe...what gives? Didn't that piss you off?" His reply..."of course not."  He says that it is wasted time and energy to get worked up over things. He doesn't "hang onto things" because he never lets things get to him in the first place. His thinking and attitude are completely different from mine....and from what I have heard in the rooms and read on this and other related boards, his thinking and attitude are different from a lot of alcoholics. So I am watching him, learning from him. I want what he has.

I will say that when I had some sobriety time under my belt, I did not have that much arrogance to say to others who were still struggling ...."s*** or get off the pot" and some of the other things which I have heard said to others, myself included, who were and still are struggling. Many of those comments were far from "encouraging" and more discouraging, in my opinion. There are AA members who have decades of sobriety time who drink again. there was a man in his 80's who, after fifty or so years of sobriety, drank again. It happened one day out of five decades of staying sober. He was able to not drink again after that. He died sober, although it didn't stop some people from having a discussion about him wondering what he did "wrong" by drinking that one day. It can happen to any of us. And it always amazes me when any one who is an alcoholic and knows anything at all about alcoholism is surprised when it does.

-- Edited by leavetherest on Saturday 16th of July 2016 04:49:37 AM

Rob wrote:

---

I am intending to up the meetings, to go to more and more regularly..  Im just finding it so hard and so... well... baffling.. its hard for me to take in.. im doing things so alien to me... im a real loner outside of work.  Im not used to socialising.  So going to place where there are lots of people all there for the same reason.. Coupled with coming to terms with this problem... And people looking at me when i speak even to just say my name etc..    I have avoided alot of social gatherings for along time anyway... So its not the easiest thing for me.. If i was a social drinker then i guess id find a room full of people looking at me and talking to me alot easier..

---

 

Rob you aren't alone in feeling like that. I certainly felt like that and many many others have too.

 

Funny having a group full of loners huh

 

Before I got this program, I would sit as close to the door as I could so that I could leave the second the meeting ended, for fear of someone talking to me. I wanted to be there and I was terrified to be there. I was so full of fear from top to bottom that I was damned if I left and damned if I stayed, both options left me with anxiety.

 

The best thing that ever happened to me was getting nominated as coffee guy by one of the few kind souls that got in the way of me bee-lining out the door. I got the commitment and by manning the coffee urns for 6 months I got to know everyone in that meeting. I lost my fear, made a lot friends, got a sponsor, even got elected as Secretary of meeting for 6 months later on. 

We say, no matter what happens, just "Keep Coming Back". I don't have to figure out the miracle of Sobriety, but I do need to show up for it.

I agree with you 100% here Pickle ... ... ... (oh, and please bare with me as I 'still' try to come back up to speed here ... my health is still hold'n me back both mentally and physically ... my 'outlook' is bright, according to the docs, but the constant pain is get'n old ... ... ... and yes, I am reminded that God has promised us to not put 'on us' , more than we can bare ...)  Also, be assured that there are no thoughts of alcohol use in my think'n ... this 'Board' serves as a constant reminder of where I 'came from' ... and for that, I am grateful ... 

Thank you for that Pickle, ... I knew a long time ago to bury my pride for be'n able to get and stay sober ... cause it wasn't me that made it possible, but learn'n to live the AA 'Way of Life' ... and learn'n that we all don't get sober the same way, but we CAN help each other to achieve sobriety ...

I've had a very odd feel'n lately, as if my time in this life is drawing to a close somehow ... ??? can't put a finger on it other than I feel soooo tired that I ain't sure I will wake up tomorrow ... I'm really struggling to do the simplest tasks ... for the last 2 months, my neighbors have been working my garden, mowing my yard(2acres) and do'n all the small chores for me that most people take 'for-granted' ... I'm really start'n to have a tough time handling all this ... in fact, I didn't (couldn't) get up til 3 p.m.(CDT) today ...


Please keep me in your prayers,
Pappy

Pappy......

Of course. You are always in my prayers. You will get better. Have faith and try to hang in there. There is a bunch about what to expect after heart surgery and I was reading some of it and it sounds like you are not alone in what you are feeling emotionally as well as the tiredness. You may want to mention your feelings and fears to your doctor.


Love you....
your little dorkey friend :)



my.clevelandclinic.org/services/heart/prevention/emotional-health/stress-relaxation/depression-heart-disease