Hi, since i got into recovery 26 months ago, deciding to , for the FIRST time, FACE my pain instead of running away via alcohol, drugs, other addictions but to FACE it, i never felt so bad in my LIFE
the emotions part i expected, but not the PHYSICAL part....
my body feels like i got trampled over by a herd of buffalo.....my back spasms got worse, these last two attacks were the most awful i can remember...laying me up for a week and than being sore for another week or so after....
post traumatic symptoms worse..like anxiety , even though i can use my self talk to "talk me down" it seems that my body and nerves are WORSE....
is it the inner child pain that is doing this?? did any of U feel this?? your bodies turning on U it seems???? i also gained weight , however i know it is becuz i ate more, do to needing to comfort me more....i can understand the weight gain to some degree, but the aches and pains and the nerves...
i could use some ESH from those of U who can relate to this......thanks, rosiie
I stopped drinking on the 19 September 2004 (with 2 minor relapses)
I quite often feel really ill, sometimes due to panic attacks brought on by the past alcohol abuse. I do often feel worn out for no reason. I suppose it takes a human body a while to recover from years of chemical abuse!
Re:Nerves. Mine are shot, If I've been drinking Coke(Cola) and the bottle pops back out (after being suqashed) I jump about a foot in the air)
Re:Weight gain....., No comments..... cigarettes are my thing.
Hope you are feeling well today Rosie.
Bye for now
Best wishes
Chris.
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"Computer games don't affect kids; I mean if Pac-Man affected us as kids, we'd all be running around in darkened rooms, munching magic pills and listening to repetitive electronic music." -- Kristian Wilson, Nintendo, Inc, 1989"
Panic attacks are not necessarily associated with the alcohol except that a person might be trying to self medicate by using alcohol. Some experts are saying that panic attacks are a problem of a rush of adrenalin that surges through the body, causes all those symptoms that they do without an actual outside reason. Our body surges adrenalin normally when we are confronted with danger, and puts our bodies on alert to cope with that danger. If our body surges adrenalin for no reason we will still get all those symptoms as if there were real danger anyway. Might be real helpful to see a professional who can treat that.
love in recovery,
amanda
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do your best and God does the rest, a step at a time
thank u for concern.......saw the docs....they took my $$ and couldn't find anything...
this is deep pain stuff.....inner child pain work......when i get done releasing the hate/resentment, i can almost BET the back "knots" which spasm will go away or at least be manageble....
i have a horrible deductible i can't afford it anyway, but hp is prompting me to keep doing this "releasing my hate/resentment" work, and deep family of origin pain work.....
my pool is filling....having fun setting it up.....and after rolling on my tennis balls in the bathtub, and saying "thank U HP for enabling me to give UP the hate/ resentment..."
each night i am going to do my back rub therapy and thank my hp for giving me the STRENGTH to give up the hate/resentment...
than i can do my IC pain work....feel the anger/ grief, discharge it, go on to next feeling......eventually, my sponser says, i will get rid of this crap......
26 months of recovery......much as i hate it, i am gonna feel WORSE till i feel better.....................hugs/ rosie
Sure...I can only think of what helped me..." Nearly every serious emotional problem can be seen as a case of misdirected instinct. When that happens, our great natural assets, the instincts, have turned into physical and mental liabilities. Step Four is our vigorous and painstaking effort to discover..."
From: Pg 42 , Twelve Steps...(12&12)
I couldn't afford professional help, so dug in on this step. Kept my sponsor informed contiuously...And I thank him for his wise direction every chance I get. Also, giving the really stubborn bad thoughts, behaviors, worries, over to a higher power...And I thank that Higher Power often!!!!
