I cry everyday when I think of the horrible loss to our family. I have been divorced for years. I left my husband many years ago. I never knew until recently the exact reason I left him. He came home from a trip overseas with a bottle of wine for "us" to drink. It wasn't wine, but was liquor. I can't drink liquor without it sending me over the deep edge. Anyhow, we had a small child at the time who I was trying to focus on, but my husband was so consumed with having sex that it blunted my feelings for him. I did not feel loved or cared about at all. He couldn't even recognize how depressed I was at the time. He lied and gave me liquor to loosen me up so I would have sex. I walked away with nothing. I cry about this all the time and then hate myself for being such a stupid fool. I don't know if I will ever get over this. I am extremely vulnerable right now. I feel like I am walking through life blind with predators around every corner. I don't know what to do or where to begin to make my life better. Can someone please help me?
What's past is past ... we cannot go back and do a 'replay' ... we can, however, seek to continue to recover both physically AND spiritually ... our choices put us where we are today and if we seek to do the 'next right thing', then we can heal and start a new life ... 'Action' is needed to effect a change, so be sure you have a good sponsor and follow their lead ...
Love you and God Bless, Pappy
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Ask yourself this : "In situations where alcohol is plentiful/available, can I be satisfied with one drink? Do I know when to stop when things are getting hazy? Have I had other bad experiences due to consuming the stuff?"
If you're honest with yourself, you'll know the answer.
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Constantly praying this : "God, help me deal with my %@#+ed up self." Sober since 7-19-19