Today's Gift - Nov

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

Today's Gift - Nov

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

Love-ability

A friend of mine recently told me how he met his wife. He had watched her walk by his store every day for a year with her young son. She also happened to be a friend of his neighbor.

"Fix me up," he suggested to his neighbor. "We'll go on a double date. I really want to meet her." Unfortunately, the neighbor never got around to setting up that first date.

Finally my friend devised a plan. Every day when she walked by the store, they said hello to each other, but she never stopped to chat. This day, he was ready. He had his store keys in hand. "Would it be all right if I walked with you for a while?" he asked when she walked by.

"Don't you have to mind your store?"

"I'll lock it up," he said.

"You don't have to do that," she said. "We can sit here and chat."

That Friday, they had their first date. She was nervous.

The next weekend, they went out again. She was still nervous. He turned to her, "You can relax," he said. "I'm not going to try anything inappropriate. I just want to enjoy your company." As time passed, she did relax, and they continued to become friends. Three years later, they were married in a small ceremony. "I didn't want to overwhelm her son," my friend recalled.

He wrote his wedding vows. He promised to love her and care for her all of his life. He promised to love her son and protect him, as if he were his own. She lit up his life, he said, and he was grateful for her promise of companionship for the rest of their lives.

My friend is a lucky man, but not just because he found someone he truly loves. He is lucky because he is able to recognize the gift of his wife's love. Most of us have the ability to see when we have been harmed, hurt, or slighted, when we're not loved or treated the way we'd like to be. But we can learn to see those acts big and small when someone shows us love. They are the greatest gifts of all.

Call it believing we deserve love, lovability, or love-ability, the value is opening our eyes and hearts so we can see and receive love from others, friends, family, romantic involvements, and God.

You are reading from the book:

52 Weeks of Conscious Contact by Melody Beattie

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

Recovery is civil war, but it is a war that can be won.
--Sister Imelda

How often do we hear people say, "Sure, I know it's the right thing to do - but it's easier said than done!'' But "it," whatever "it" is for each of us, is actually easier done than not done. As hard as it is to turn our will and our behavior toward recovery, failing to recover is much harder. Ultimately, any price we pay for recovery is far less than the cost of giving up everything we've gained.

Some of us have a very difficult time making phone calls. Others are scared to death of speaking at meetings, talking to strangers, or admitting that we have feelings. But the alternative has simply been too painful. Whatever we have to do is worth it. The payoff is immense. How many of us, when we did attend that meeting that frightened us, felt an enormous surge of self-confidence and happiness? How often, when we have stood our ground and found it did not kill us, have we felt that we could lick the world? The payoff is that we learn to like ourselves more, and that is as good as it gets.

I will make sure today that I am not forgetting the benefits of recovery and only considering the price of recovery.

You are reading from the book:

Days of Healing, Days of Joy by Earnie Larsen and Carol Larsen Hegarty

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

When we are feeling unloved and depressed and empty inside, finding someone to give us love is not really the solution.
--Gerald G. Jampolsky, M.D.

Each of us wants to be significant to someone else. And we are - we're significant to all the lives we're touching at this very moment.

The emptiness we sometimes feel is a good reminder that the women and men in our lives need our attention. Too much self-focus fosters our feelings of loneliness, and then with desperation we look to others to fill us up. The paradox is that we heal ourselves while offering our attention to another who is, by design, on our path.

It is not by chance our lives are intertwined. Loving someone today will heal two wounds, ours and theirs.

You are reading from the book:

Worthy of Love by Karen Casey

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

Letting go is a decision.

The obsession to pressure other people to see things our way keeps us agitated. In contrast, the wisdom to understand that every person's view has validity, at least for that person, is a gift we receive from working the Twelve Steps. Our daily assignment, then, is to be patient and listen so that we may learn this lesson from women and men who have walked this path already, women and men who have come to understand that letting go of others and their addictions promises relief from the obsession that troubles each of us.

Look around. All of us have tried to force solutions that didn't fit. And we drove ourselves crazy trying to control the behavior of others, certain that "doing it our way" was not only reasonable, but right. Our past sometimes may appear to be a series of failures. But our present experience can be peaceful, hopeful, and successful. It's our decision to let go. A small decision that we can make many times today, every day.

"Let go" are tiny words with huge rewards. If I want to, I can give up my attempts to control someone today. Peace will be my reward.

You are reading from the book:

A Life of My Own by Karen Casey

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

Imagination has always had powers of resurrection that no science can match.
--Ingrid Bengis

In the imagination are transmitted messages, from God to us. Inspiration is born there. So are dreams. Both give rise to the goals that urge us forward, that invite us to honor this life we've been given with a contribution, one like no other contribution.

Our imagination offers us ideas to ponder, ideas specific to our development. It encourages us to take steps unique to our time, our place, and our intended gifts to the world. We can be alert to this special "inner voice" and let it guide our decisions; we can trust its urgings. It's charged with serving us, but only we can decide to "listen."

The imagination gives us another tool: belief in ourselves. And the magic of believing offers us strength and capabilities even beyond our fondest hopes. It prepares us for the effort we need to make and for handling whatever outcome God has intended.

My imagination will serve me today. It will offer me the ideas and the courage I need to go forth.

You are reading from the book:

Each Day a New Beginning by Karen Casey

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

First Things First - Order

Busy people often declare, with some exasperation, that they cannot do everything at once. People with emotional problems, a group that includes many alcoholics, often feel that they are trying to do everything at once. Quite often, this pressure means that we waste our time fretting about all the things facing us, becoming totally ineffective as a result.

The simple slogan "First things first" shows us how to set priorities in an orderly way. In every situation or problem, there is always one step we can take that is more important than the others. Following that, we find a step of second importance, another of third importance, and so on. Sometimes, a certain action comes first simply because other things depend on it.

By using "First things first" as a guiding principle in our lives, we can live in an orderly, disciplined manner. If we have work to do today, we can plan to do the most important things first. If we have to reduce our activities, we can decide which activities we ought to retain. Having made these decisions, we can be at peace about our choices. We cannot do everything at once and we need not feel guilty about it.

Knowing that order is Heaven's first law, I'll do things today in an orderly manner.

You are reading from the book:

Walk in Dry Places by Mel B.

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

To be alive is to be hungry.

Our appetite for life is good. It keeps us reaching, growing, enjoying, and yearning to fulfill our potential. When our basic needs are satisfied, our hunger propels us to search for more elaborate gratification.

Here is where we often run into trouble. Instead of progressing through the hierarchy of needs to the spiritual level, we get stuck in an attempt to make quantity - more things, more people, and more activity - substitute for quality. And quantity alone is never enough.

It's good that we're hungry. Our appetite motivates us to feed our body in a healthy way and also to feed our mind, heart, and spirit. Our needs pyramid, and our hunger leads us beyond quantity to the quality experiences that fill our emptiness. We read, we share, we love, we pray, we listen, we accomplish, we dance, and we feast on the fullness of life.

Today, I will direct my appetite to quality experiences.

You are reading from the book:

Inner Harvest by Elisabeth L.

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

Reflection for the Day
In the old days, I saw everything in terms of forever. Endless hours were spent rehashing old mistakes. I tried to take comfort in the forlorn hope that tomorrow would be "different." As a result, I lived a fantasy life in which happiness was all but nonexistent. No wonder I rarely smiled and hardly ever laughed aloud. Do I still think in terms of "forever"?

Today I Pray
May I set my goals for the New Year not at the year-long mark, but one day at a time. My traditional New Year's resolutions have been so grandly stated and so soon broken. Let me not weaken my resolve by stretching it to cover "forever" - or even one long year. May I reapply it firmly each new day. May I learn not to stamp my past mistakes with that indelible word, "forever." Instead, may each single day in each New Year be freshened by my new-found hope.

Today I Will Remember
Happy New Day.

You are reading from the book:

A Day at a Time (Softcover) by Anonymous

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

There is no right way to pray.

Prayer is not a requirement of Twelve Step programs like Al-Anon. In fact, the program has no requirements. It has only suggestions that if followed will change how we see our experiences. This, in turn, mysteriously changes our very experiences. One suggestion is that we seek, through prayer and meditation, to know God and God's will for us.

The idea of prayer scares some of us initially. It seems religious. However, we learn from other people, if we're open to their words, that the program is not religious but spiritual. This means that we can expect help from a Power who wants to safeguard our lives. All we have to do is let that Power in, using any method that feels comfortable. Kneeling to pray isn't for everyone. Having friendly casual "chats" appeals to some. Others seek knowledge of God in a bird's song or a flower's blossom. Whatever is comfortable is not only adequate but appropriate.

Praying in our own special way becomes a wonderful habit. It protects us all day long, giving us strength every time we need it.

I will relish my moments with God today. They will help me in every circumstance. I'm never alone as long as I remember God.

You are reading from the book:

A Life of My Own by Karen Casey

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

We pray for "courage to change the things we can.'' Change requires giving up familiar old ways to try something new. Even though the old ways brought us pain, they were known. Changing them for new ones feels risky; it could lead to pleasure . . . or to even more pain.

But if we don't try, we'll never know whether we can handle a new job, go back to school, work out a new relationship, or breathe new life into an old one. To try something new, we have to be willing to take risks and be vulnerable. We have to accept the responsibility and the consequences if our venture does not proceed as we had hoped it would.

Perhaps our addiction was a way of avoiding risk. Rather than take the chance of failing at something we wanted to do or being rejected by someone to whom we offered our friendship, we focused on our addiction. Are we ready, now, to take risks for something we really want?

Today, I can take a small risk in the interest of enriching my life.

You are reading from the book:

Inner Harvest by Elisabeth L.

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

The way to love anything is to realize it might be lost.
--G. K. Chesterton

Every day we take so much for granted. But we can count certain blessings: a roof over our head, food, clothing, family and friend, freedom, a Higher Power we trust. These things are special. Thinking about them wakes up our happiness. Our recovery program shows us how to be happy. We just have to remember to do what it tells us!

Step Ten helps us wake up our happiness. Each evening, as we think about our day, we can give thanks for the things we love; our recovery, our health, and the special people in our lives. If we spend part of our day thinking about these important areas, we won't lose them.

Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, help me make the most of my blessings today.

Action for the Day

Today, I'll tell five people I love that I'm glad to have them in my life. And I'll tell each of them one reason why.

You are reading from the book:

Keep It Simple by Anonymous

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

...we live several lives in one lifetime.

Waking up from a terrifying dream, we first sigh with deep relief, "Thank God it was just a dream." After we have made a big mistake in real life we long for the chance to undo it. We do not get to undo those moments, but life is still full of second chances . . . and third and fourth chances. The big question is. Do we learn from our experiences?

In some ways, we live several lives in one lifetime and we have several phases in one relationship. Today is a new day, and it presents all the possibilities of a new beginning. We have learned from the past. As painful and difficult as our experiences were, we can feel stronger today because we have learned from them. Injustice and fateful accidents can befall anyone. Yet many difficult times never need to be repeated. Today we can be grateful for another day with all the new opportunities it brings.

Name one way you are different today because of what you have learned from your experience.

You are reading from the book:

The More We Find In Each Other by Merle Fossum and Mavis Fossum

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

Seeking strength from others prevents us from finding our own strength.
--Georgette Vickstrom

The principles of this program, the friends we have made here, sponsors, and the contact we have with an ever-available Higher Power afford us valuable strength. However, it's important that we develop our own strength to complement what we look for in others.

Using the tools acquired in this program is a good beginning for cultivating personal strength. It's like growing a garden. We need to tend it daily, nurturing it, discarding the unproductive behaviors like weeds. When we do, we'll discover that the seedlings we're planting at every meeting are taking root and developing blossoms that signal positive growth.

I will be painstaking in nurturing my growth today. My strength will be there when I need it.

You are reading from the book:

A Woman's Spirit by Karen Casey

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

Attitudes and Limitations

"My greatest limitations," a member said, "are in my mind. Until I came to this group, I wasn't even aware that many of the negative circumstances in my life were the direct result of my distorted attitudes.

"I brought myself a lot of unnecessary misery by thinking it was my responsibility to manage and direct other people's lives. I believed it was solely up to me to make everyone else happy and secure. So I continually placed everyone else's needs first until I didn't know who I was or what I needed for my own happiness and comfort. It's exhausting and insane to try to second-guess everyone. Not only that, it doesn't give me or anyone else credit for being able to think, feel, or act for himself."

Today I will not manage or direct other people's lives, nor will I expect any other human being to fill my inner emptiness. I have the dignity, resources, and responsibility to fulfill my own life just as others have theirs. I will find my own sources of comfort, joy, and peace no matter what others do with their lives and free choices.

You are reading from the book:

The Reflecting Pond by Liane Cordes

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

All human failures are the result of a lack of love.
--Alfred Adler

How much easier it is to continue working toward a challenging goal when we're bolstered by the loving support of a favorite person, a spouse, or parent. We'll not succeed at every job or game we attempt - nor should we expect to. For all of us our talents are many, but not total. However, our failures will be fewer and far less devastating when they occur within the context of a life rich with loving human contact.

Those who don't know the comfort of love find their steps and thoughts are haunted by the fear that they don't count - that there is no purpose to their lives. Only by knowing the reality of love can we glimpse the richly textured tapestry of human life, and only then can we feel secure that all is well.

One purpose for our lives is to assure others of their importance to the life pattern that captures us all. And when each of us is committed to that purpose, both the fear and the reality of human failure will be erased.

You are reading from the book:

Worthy of Love by Karen Casey

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

No man is born into the world whose work is not born with him.
--James Russell Lowell

Our Wise Creator has provided each of us, at birth, with the necessary talents and gifts to make a worthwhile contribution to the world. What we make of those gifts and talents is entirely up to us. We can choose to ignore, and thereby destroy, our innate interests and abilities - or we can choose to pursue them, despite our doubts and fears, and enjoy life to the fullest.

If we wish to use our talents and gifts, we must become aware of those activities and interests we enjoy. Then we must make the effort to explore the opportunities and alternatives available to us. If we do not find a place for our interests and abilities in the world around us, we needn't be discouraged. We can create one. Dedication and perseverance have opened many seemingly closed doors.

TODAY - Am I doing the best with what I've been given? Am I using my capabilities well? If I am not, am I willing to take the necessary action to achieve inner satisfaction?

You are reading from the book:

The Reflecting Pond by Liane Cordes

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

Acceptance frees us.

Conflict can result from trying to change a person or situation that we don't like. And conflict causes stress and agitation, both of which limit our lives. They steal our ability to be open to opportunities for growth and change.

Why is it so hard to accept situations we don't like? Twelve Step programs tell us it's because of our ego. We feel diminished when others don't agree with our plan or our opinion. Our self-worth is tied to other people's reactions.

But we can change. We can let the success stories we hear in this program inspire us to let others be. We will discover how much better we feel when we're not on the battlefield with our friends and loved ones.

I don't have to have conflict with other people today. I can let others be themselves and do what feels right to them. I'll feel more at ease too.

You are reading from the book:

A Life of My Own by Karen Casey

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

Recovery is about more than walking away. Sometimes it means learning to stay and deal. It's about building and maintaining relationships that work.
--Beyond Codependency

Problems and conflicts are parts of life and relationships - with friends, family, loved ones, and at work. Problem solving and conflict negotiation are skills we can acquire and improve with time.

Not being willing to tackle and solve problems in relationships leads to unresolved feelings of anger and victimization, terminated relationships, unresolved problems, and power plays that intensify the problem and waste time and energy.

Not being willing to face and solve problems means we may run into that problem again.

Some problems with people cannot be worked out in mutually satisfactory ways. Sometimes the problem is a boundary issue we have, and there is not room to negotiate. In that case, we need to clearly understand what we want and need and what our bottom line is.

Some problems with people, though, can be worked out, worked through, and satisfactorily negotiated. To negotiate problems, we must be willing to identify the problem, let go of blame and shame, and focus on possible creative solutions. To successfully negotiate and solve problems in relationships, we must have a sense of our bottom line and our boundary issues, so we don't waste time trying to negotiate non-negotiable issues.

We need to learn to identify what both people really want and need and the different possibilities for working that out. We can learn to be flexible without being too flexible.

Today, I will be open to negotiating conflicts I have with people. I will strive for balance without being too submissive or too demanding. I will strive for appropriate flexibility in my problem solving efforts.

You are reading from the book:

The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

Hope is the thing with feathers
that perches in the soul
And sings the tune without the words
And never stops at all.
--Emily Dickinson

We often hum and sing to ourselves because it makes us feel content. It is the melody itself that makes us feel good - words and thoughts do not matter.

Having hope for ourselves and for our universe is like having a melody always moving inside us. The melody may be calm or exciting, but most of all it brings with it beauty and a sense of peace. Hope can overcome the need for words and thoughts and promises. Hope is the melody that keeps us going, the hum that continues even when there are no words to the song. Hope is not a melody we think about - it must come when we believe in the goodness of our world.

If we have faith in a power greater than ourselves, we will be able to find the melody of hope inside us at all times.

You are reading from the book:

Today's Gift by Anonymous

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

Gratitude is a way of life.

Saying thank you from the heart makes us feel full. Perhaps we don't really know we have something until we express our thanks for it.

There are different levels of gratitude. There is the polite, automatic response when someone opens a door for us or the bank teller tells us to have a nice day. Simple, almost perfunctory, these acts of courtesy nevertheless add an element of grace to our daily transactions.

On a more personal level, saying thank you often and sincerely to those we love keeps us from taking each other for granted. We all like to feel appreciated - how many relationships dry up because the people involved don't realize what they have?

Then there is the gratitude we feel toward the God of our understanding, the source of all the blessings we enjoy but do not create for ourselves. This thankfulness can be a part of every breath we take. As often as we remember the many gifts of every day, our emptiness is filled.

Today, I will replenish my supply of gratitude.

You are reading from the book:

Inner Harvest by Elisabeth L.

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

God Is Here

The Power, which restores us to sanity, is not something remote and abstract, which we must search for by reading books and performing great feats. Our Higher Power is with us constantly and is involved in the minute details of every day. We do not have to wait and work to become acceptable to God. God accepts us now, just as we are.

What gets in the way of our awareness of God is self. If we are narrowly focused on the concerns of ego and self-will, we ignore the presence of a Higher Power. Then we become weak and confused in our aloneness.

To be aware of the presence of God in our lives every day, all we need is the willingness to be open. We find that God is indeed "closer than breathing and nearer than hands and feet." What we may have spent years searching for or denying turns out to be the ground of our existence and the Power that sustains us every minute.

Increase my awareness of You, I pray.

You are reading from the book:

Food for Thought by Elisabeth L.

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

Happiness is a decision.

We came into this program desperate for help and perhaps solace too. We were more painful than most. Seeing all the smiles and hearing the laughter of the women and men at the meetings convinced us we were right! Fortunately, we have stuck around long enough to understand where their smiles and laughter are coming from.

The Twelve Steps are suggestions for living one day at a time. When we let the Steps guide our thinking and our actions, we discover that life doesn't have to be painful. Thinking and acting are fully in our control. Staying close to the program can bring us happiness.

I will set a good example for someone else today. I will be living proof of the maxim "Most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be."

You are reading from the book:

A Life of My Own by Karen Casey

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

The shy man usually finds that he has been shy without cause and that, in practice, no one takes the slightest notice of him.
--Robert Lynd

We sometimes feel self-conscious in front of others. It may be that we've just gotten braces or a new haircut and we're afraid everyone will stare at us. We stop smiling and talk with our heads bowed. Many people have worn braces and many more will. We need not be ashamed just because we feel different. By beginning to smile again we will see how many people really didn't notice our braces, or our haircuts, or anything but what they see inside us.

All we need to do is lift our heads and smile. We will be amazed to find how little even our best friends notice about the externals, the things that don't really matter. Who we are is far more noticeable and far more important than what we look like. A smile at shy times helps us accept ourselves as others do.

You are reading from the book:

Today's Gift by Anonymous

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

Trouble is a part of life, and if you don't share it, you don't give the person who loves you a chance to love you enough.
--Dinah Shore

Just as gravity keeps us grounded and connected to the earth, our fellowship keeps us bound to sobriety. The fellowship available to us in our Twelve Step program keeps us in reality. A problem pondered in isolation seems immense; the same problem shared by those who truly understand is manageable. We need other people from the moment we are born. We need to be included, to feel we're a part of something larger than ourselves. Our spirits hunger for contact from others, and thirst for a relationship with God.

Our fellowship is there, a warm, friendly, and accepting family. Our Higher Power loves us. We are not alone, no matter where we travel, no matter how large our problems seem at the moment. Our joys are doubled and our sadness diminished through the sharing of our hearts.

Today help me listen carefully and give as well as take so I may fully experience this gift of fellowship.

You are reading from the book:

Body, Mind, and Spirit by Anonymous

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

Reflection for the Day

Among the many gifts that we are offered in The Program is the gift of freedom. Paradoxically, however, the gift of freedom is not without a price tag; freedom can only be achieved by paying the price called acceptance. Similarly, if we can surrender to God's guidance, it will cost us our self-will, that "commodity" so precious to those of us who have always thought we could and should run the show. Is my freedom today worth the price tag of acceptance?

Today I Pray

May God teach me acceptance - the ability to accept the things I cannot change. God also grant me courage to change those things I can. God help me to accept the illness of my addiction and give me the courage to change my addictive behavior.

Today I Will Remember

Accept the addiction. Change the behavior.

You are reading from the book:

A Day at a Time (Softcover) by Anonymous

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

The Fox and the Stork

One evening the fox invited his friend the stork to dinner. For a joke the fox prepared soup and served it in a shallow dish. The fox could easily lap up the soup. But the stork, with its long bill, went hungry. The fox gave the stork a sly grin and said, "I am so sorry. It seems as if the soup is not to your liking."

"There is no need to apologize," the stork replied. "I would like to repay your hospitality and invite you to dinner tomorrow night."

The next evening, the stork served the fox a meal in a long-necked jar with a narrow mouth. The stork could easily reach into the jar and eat, but the fox could not and went hungry. "I will not apologize for the dinner," the stork said. "because one bad turn deserves another." After that, the fox and the stork were no longer friends.

The Moral of the story: Revenge may be sweet, but the damage it does cannot be repaired.

No matter how wronged you may feel by the words or actions of another, remember that revenge, retaliation, and harboring resentment serve no useful purpose.

I will let go of past resentments and consider no one to be my enemy.

You are reading from the book:

Morning Light by Amy E. Dean

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

Finding balance

Let's not forget to play. Our new way of life is a serious matter, but it is not intended as a punishment; nor do we need to repent and suffer for the rest of our lives. Our new way of life is intended to produce growth.

But growth takes work. And work needs play for balance. If we forget to play and be joyful, our life will become unbalanced and we will suffer needlessly.

Have I found some balance in my life?

Higher Power, help me remember that all living things need balance: let me laugh, let me play, let me grow.

You are reading from the book:

Day by Day - Second Edition by Anonymous