Today's Gift - Sept

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

Today's Gift - Sept

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

Dealing with Anger

"The most heated bit of letter-writing can be a wonderful safety valve," AA cofounder Bill W. said, "providing the wastebasket is somewhere nearby."

This is a delightful bit of advice about the right way to handle anger. Writing an angry letter is at least a way of bringing our feelings out so that we can see them. This is far healthier than the peculiar method of "stuffing" one's feelings and pretending that there was no hurt or offense.

But an angry letter, once mailed, can be more destructive than a bullet. We may live to regret ever having mailed it. It could have unintended consequences of the worst kind.

That's why the wastebasket becomes the second handy way to deal with our anger. We throw the letter away and let time and wisdom heal the matter. What usually happens under the guidance of our Higher Power is that we find a much more satisfactory way of settling whatever has happened.

If I become angry today, I'll admit it to myself. Perhaps I'll even put my feelings on paper. But I'll have the good sense not to go further with such outbursts.

You are reading from the book:

Walk in Dry Places by Mel B.

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

My spiritual life has changed in the last few years.
--James Casey

Most of us have expanded our understanding of "the spiritual life." We may have grown up in religious homes. That wouldn't be unusual. But now we realize that didn't necessarily mean we were encouraged to be spiritual. The idea of "spirituality" might have been suspect, even. To our parents it may have sounded like the occult rather than a church affiliation.

What spirituality meant to Jim, and perhaps means to many of us, is having a relationship we nurture with the Creator, however we define that. It means believing we have an inner voice that is eager to offer us guidance whenever we are at a loss about what to do. Practicing a spiritual life also relieves us of the burden of worrying about the future. We know it will take care of itself, in the same way we'll be taken care of.

As we move through life, we continue to be confronted by conflict and problems over which we have no control. That's the learning curve, nothing more. We'll always be on this path. The good news is that our response to the struggle will change in proportion to our willingness to seek God's help.

How I see God and my life should keep changing.

Will I do my part to open my eyes wider today?

You are reading from the book:

Keepers of the Wisdom by Karen Casey

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

I never saw a wild thing sorry for itself.
--D. H. Lawrence

Sometimes when we feel sorry for ourselves we will sit alone in our bedroom. We may even feel so down in the dumps that we decide to stay there, indulging in self-pity, thinking about how the world is against us.

However, if we use our imagination to step outside our own point of view for a moment, we might think differently. If we were deer in the forest, we would be thinking about keeping safe from the wolves, and where our next meal would be coming from.

The animals have no time to feel sorry for themselves, they are too busy doing what has to be done to survive, and each thing that happens presents a new survival problem to be solved.

When we feel blue, it helps to keep this in mind. If we have the time to feel down, and can get physically comfortable while doing it, how bad can the problem really be?

You are reading from the book:

Today's Gift by Anonymous

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

The darkness was encumbering only because I relied upon my sight for everything I did, not knowing that another way was to let power be the guide.
--Carlos Castaneda

We don't need to be blind in order not to see. Remember how long it took for us to "see" our addictions? Remember how the blindfold of denial kept us from seeing the reality of our lives?

But it took a person or people to help us "see" our way into the program. And now that we are members, we still need others to guide us in our recovery. Sometimes pride gets in the way and tells us we can do it alone, yet those are the times when we stumble and fall. Perhaps today was a day when we refused the guidance of others. We may have felt we were strong enough to "go it alone." But we will feel the effects of such blind groupings if we don't remember that we need others.

Just as the blind person has a cane or a companion or an animal for guidance, so must we rely upon the power of the group and our Higher Power to help us "see" our way.

Have I been blind to the help offered by others? Can I ask for help to "see"?

You are reading from the book:

Night Light by Amy E. Dean

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

God does not require that we be successful, only that we be faithful.
--Mother Teresa

It is probable we have never equated success with faith. Being successful meant accomplishing worthy goals and receiving the expected praise. We may have even considered that relying on faith to help us was a cop out. Fortunately, so much about how we interpret life has changed since joining this journey through recovery.

In Step Three we learn that God wants us to have faith. We are coming to see, in fact, that acting as if we have faith begins to feel like faith. Coming to believe that God's only expectation is that we turn within for guidance makes every circumstance far less threatening.

Practicing faith promises that we will begin to feel successful in all our experiences because we are walking through them peacefully, trusting fully that God is at hand. Believing in God, being truly faithful, can be the greatest success of our lives.

I can be faith-filled today if I turn my life and my will over to the care of God. I will remind myself of this every time I get in the "driver's seat."

You are reading from the book:

A Woman's Spirit by Karen Casey

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

"Depressions are transition times for me," an older fellow stated. "I look at my lows as a preparation period, an inner time to grow and change even though I'm not consciously aware of what's going on inside me. But I didn't always think this way.

"I used to get terrified when I got into one of those low periods. Every time I did, I questioned everything I ever believed in. I doubted myself and my abilities, my opinions and values, my friends and my boss. Nothing escaped my painful questioning. I thought for sure I was going insane. The pain was so unbearable I wanted to drink, work harder, anything, to distract me from my anguish.

"Now when I get low, I take it more in stride. I think of my depression as part of a natural cycle. Just as nature has its fall, winter, and spring, I, too, have a period of shedding old growth for new growth. I just endure my grey days knowing the sun will shine again just as the trees will bloom after winter. As part of the natural world around me, I, too, have my seasons of joy and sorrow."

Today I will remember that my lows are as natural as my highs. I will not become overwhelmed and exaggerate the significance of my depressions. I will endure patiently, knowing that whatever faces me will pass in time.

You are reading from the book:

The Reflecting Pond by Liane Cordes

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

Whatever men attempt, they seem driven to overdo.
--Bernard Baruch

It's usually very difficult for us to bring balance into our lives. We may find it hard not to put in overtime at work. We may be obsessed about housework or yard work to the extent that we work long hours at it. Whatever we do, whatever we have, whatever we want, it's usually not enough for us.

Any activity or commitment needs a certain amount of time, concentration, and energy. But some of us may be too absorbed in physical fitness to notice we are always tense, always on the go. Some of us may be so obsessed with money that we take on additional work, not noticing we are often hard to get along with. Some of us may be so fascinated by a hobby that we ignore people in our lives who need our time and attention, too.

We need to recognize the obsessive areas of our lives and begin to make changes. It may mean assigning time limits to different activities. Or it may mean altering our schedules, even letting go of an activity. Now is the time to begin to bring balance into our lives, gently and gradually.

I know I need more balance in my life. What are some changes I can make to bring the scales more in balance?

You are reading from the book:

Night Light by Amy E. Dean

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

It takes more courage to reveal insecurities than to hide them, more strength to relate to people than to dominate them, more "manhood" to abide by thought-out principles rather than blind reflex. Toughness is in the soul and spirit, not in muscles and an immature mind.
--Alex Karras

In our culture, being a man often means being tough and not showing feelings. We realize in this life of recovery that those are silly and immature myths, even though we see them repeatedly on TV, on billboards, and in newspapers.

When we are told these things repeatedly, it makes an impact on us. So we need to hear from each other that this is not the way we wish to live. We don't admire these attitudes, and we don't believe the stories. Truly courageous men know themselves. They have been around enough to have depth to their souls, to let themselves love, and to feel the pain of life.

Today, I am grateful to know and share my feelings and to have genuine relationships with those I love.

You are reading from the book:

Touchstones by Anonymous

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

Courage is fear that has said its prayers.
-- Dorothy Bernard

No one of us is always courageous. With trepidation we embark on many journeys. Fear is dispelled each time we rely on our inner strength and trust that our lives are in good hands.

Self-talk is powerful and will prepare us to meet whatever lies ahead today. Self-talk is like prayer and quiets our fears, making it possible to give our full attention to the events transpiring. Self-talk, when positive, cultivates a healthy self-image, one that offers security, even in the face of disaster. We all carry on a dialogue with ourselves much of the time. Taking charge of the messages - making sure they enhance our personal well being - is an option always available to us.

No situation is more than we can handle. Whatever courage or strength is needed is as close as our willingness to go within, to commune with ourselves.

I must own my fears before I can let them go. Courage follows closely on their departing footsteps.

You are reading from the book:

The Promise of a New Day by Karen Casey and Martha Vanceburg

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

He who has courage and faith will never perish in misery!
--Anne Frank

Someone once said happiness is like a butterfly: if we chase it, we'll never find it. But if we sit quietly, it will come and land on us. Faith and courage are the same. All we have to do is sit quietly and ask for these gifts from God. In time, and with patience, they will be ours, and so will the happiness we can then pass on to others.

Anne Frank wrote the above words facing a concentration camp and certain death. If she could find happiness and faith and courage within herself under those circumstances, then certainly we can too. These gifts are ours, already within us, if we but look for them.

You are reading from the book:

Today's Gift by Anonymous

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

Living or Waiting?

What is the real secret of living 24 hours at a time? Isn't it really a matter of feeling completely comfortable in the present rather than believing that happiness depends on something in the future?

Whatever our situation today, it's something we must live through and deal with effectively. We may be overlooking many wonderful things in our present life simply because we believe we need some exciting experience that can only come later on.

We also might be overlooking present opportunities because we're spending too much time in the past. The past, whether it was good or bad, is beyond our control.

Our mission is to live effectively and happily today. We can do this best when we realize that yesterday and tomorrow don't really exist - today is all we can be sure of.

I'll live today in the present, handling every problem as well as I can and enjoying every experience that comes to me.

You are reading from the book:

Walk in Dry Places by Mel B.

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

Persons who habitually drink water become just as good gourmets about water as wine drinkers on wine.
--Alexandre Dumas

How fortunate are those among us who have the ability to turn things around - to transform liabilities into assets. Life deals them lemons: they make lemonade, lemon pie, candied lemon peel. They seem to be able to assess the needs of the moment accurately and turn them to advantage.

We are all different. Success in life probably has more to do with expressing our uniqueness fully than with suppressing it and trying to resemble everybody else. Who is "everybody else," anyway?

We can't respond authentically to the moment if we're concealing the truth. The truth for us involves our own unique package of qualities, our own experience and energy, our own way of looking at things. Freedom, for us, depends on the choices only we can make. The proper appreciation of water is a pleasure that demands discipline. We're totally unable to experience this pleasure if we are wishing for wine.

Human beings share many characteristics. One of the most important is difference. Today I will cherish these differences as one of the bonds that joins me to others.

You are reading from the book:

The Promise of a New Day by Karen Casey and Martha Vanceburg

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

We can stop making mountains out of molehills.

Learning to let go of the choices other people make takes away much of the angst we have grown accustomed to. Letting go of the outcome of all experiences, even those that involve us, frees our minds from the needless worry that keeps us stuck. The more we focus on a problem, our own or someone else's, the bigger it gets.

Why do we worry so much? For some of us, it has become a habit. Lucky for us, by sharing the Twelve Step journey we can learn how not to worry. The solution is to have faith that our Higher Power will take care of us. And the others in our lives have their Higher Power to care for them. Learning to give up our old ways of "doing" life unburdens us profoundly. The time we'll gain will allow us to do what we really need to do.

My perspective today will be healthy. I'll let go and let God.

You are reading from the book:

A Life of My Own by Karen Casey

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

There's only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving, and that's your own self. So you have to begin there, not outside, not on other people. That comes afterward, when you've worked on your own corner.
--Aldous Huxley

Taking responsibility for our own attitudes, actions, and neglects is far more difficult than managing and directing other people's lives.

Giving advice to another, for example, is much easier that practicing what we preach. If we would apply our advice to our own lives, we would have less time to criticize, correct, or interfere in someone else's difficulties. Moreover, we would be amazed at how many alternatives we have within our own grasp that could solve, or at least alleviate, the problems in our lives.

TODAY - Let me realize I am far more positive and productive when I concentrate my efforts and thoughts on changing myself and my own actions. Give me the courage to act on my own internal wisdom.

You are reading from the book:

The Reflecting Pond by Liane Cordes

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

Two persons love in one another the future good which they aid one another to unfold.
--Margaret Fuller

We can see the potential for growth in friends we love, a reality that often lies hidden to them. Through our encouragement and our commitment to them, we can help them tackle the barriers to success. Likewise, we'll be helped. It's within the plan, ours and theirs, that we're traveling this road together.

For moments in time, we're matched pairs, drawing from each other the talents the world awaits, while alone we sometimes withdraw, thus depriving the world of what we have to offer. The expression of love will push forward the development of the whole human race.

No one of us is without someone to love if we'd but choose to offer ourselves to another.

You are reading from the book:

Worthy of Love by Karen Casey

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

You really need to take care of yourself because you won't be good for anyone else unless you take care of yourself.
-- Harry Bartholomew

Do we merely assume we are taking good care of ourselves? It's perhaps a good idea to list all the ways we think this is true. Do we get enough exercise? What is enough, anyway? Are we eating the right foods and enough of them? How about rest? Do we take naps when needed, as well as get a good night's sleep? What about laughter? Some would say there's no better elixir than a good laugh. Of course, we have to be willing to laugh at ourselves, on occasion, to make the most of it.

Taking good care of ourselves is much more in our control than we might have imagined. We are able to laugh at will and to eat what's good for us. We are also very much in control of how we feel about the circumstances of our lives. Whether we think we have it good or bad has a great deal to do with the details of each day.

We're not much fun to be around if all we do is moan and whine. Neither response ever takes good care of us. And both of them hinder the day's experiences for our companions, too.

The best thing I can do for me today is smile at my life, my friends, my remaining dreams. I can show I care.

You are reading from the book:

Keepers of the Wisdom by Karen Casey

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

Practicing Serenity

We often urge ourselves to hurry up when there's no good reason for it. At such times, all we really do is create needless tension and anxiety.

The slogan "Easy does it" is our answer to such calls to hurry. The slogan suggests that we simply move into the rhythms of life and "go with the flow."

It's not hurrying but steady effort that finally brings achievement. We've had entirely too much hurry and impatience - what we really need is confident, persistent effort in the right direction. We should be specially reminded of this when we see anxious, impatient people speeding through traffic only to be forced to wait at traffic lights, risking life and limb to save a few seconds. A good steady pace is what we need, and it will win the game.

I'll be active today, but not overactive. I'll look for rhythm and efficiency in everything I do.

You are reading from the book:

Walk in Dry Places by Mel B.

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

Never let your head hang down. Never give up and sit down and grieve. Find another way. And don't pray when it rains if you don't pray when the sun shines.
--Satchel Paige

When children are tired they make their feelings very clear. They just sit down and start to cry. As adults, we may sometimes feel like a child, ready to sit down and give up. But we're not tired children anymore. We're grown-ups, living with responsibilities and duties.

Instead of giving up, we need to find another way of handling responsibilities. To begin with, we can ask for help. There are others who can help with meals, family care, and household duties. We can also rearrange our schedules so we're not doing too much at one time and not enough at other times. Whenever we feel like giving up under the pressure of responsibilities, we can remember there are always solutions. Nothing is cast in stone unless we want it to be.

I can begin thinking about making changes in my responsibilities. I can ask for help and do some rearranging, so no day is overwhelming.

You are reading from the book:

Night Light by Amy E. Dean

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

About the time I wish I were dead, something falls in my path about which I make a difference. Then I figure God was saving me for that.
--Janice Clark

Not everybody has the easy faith that Janice has, but perhaps we could all cultivate it. They say it's never too late to make a friend of God who's been waiting in the wings all along. But some may question this point, particularly if they have lived long without attending to their spiritual side. Indeed, it's not a requirement. However, those who have sought the counsel of a Higher Spirit have found comfort in the knowledge that they are never alone.

One of the plusses of believing in God is knowing that we don't have to handle any situation that occurs without guidance. We never have to have all the answers. We never have to have any of them, in fact. All we have to do is seek them from the only Source that really has them.

If we haven't allowed our lives to be this easy up to now, let's give this process a chance. There's no reason to keep struggling with the circumstances that happen to us.

I will acknowledge the rightness of whatever comes my way today.

You are reading from the book:

Keepers of the Wisdom by Karen Casey

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

When am I manipulative?

Without understanding our motives, we can easily lapse into behavior aimed at manipulating others. Sulking is a means of letting others know we are displeased and forcing them to attempt to win our approval. Flattery is a false expression of approval that we don't really feel - giving others good strokes for our own purpose. Withholding deserved praise is a means of putting others down, something we're likely to do because of our jealousy.

Manipulative behavior is almost always selfish behavior. It is usually a false means of trying to get our own way. It is certainly an immature way of dealing with people and situations.

The best way to avoid being manipulative is to be ourselves at all times. We have neither the right nor the responsibility to control or regulate other people. Our best approach, in trying to influence another's actions, is simply to state our own case with sincerity and honesty. Others must be free to act, free to choose, and free to make their own decisions without manipulative interference on our part.

I will be myself at all times today. I will not assume false roles simply for the purpose of bending others to my own will. Manipulative behavior is controlling behavior, which I must avoid.

You are reading from the book:

Walk in Dry Places by Mel B.

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

Reflection for the Day
So many of us suffer from despair. Yet we don't realize that despair is purely the absence of faith. As long as we're willing to turn to God for help in our difficulties, we cannot despair. When we're troubled and can't see a way out, it's only because we imagine that all solutions depend on us. The Program teaches us to let go of overwhelming problems and let God handle them for us. When I consciously surrender my will to God's will, do I see faith at work in my life?

Today I Pray
May I be free of despair and depression, those two "down D's" that are the result of feelings of helplessness. May I know that I am never without the help of God, that I am never helpless when God is with me. If I have faith, I need never be "helpless and hopeless."

Today I Will Remember
Despair is the absence of faith.

You are reading from the book:

A Day at a Time (Softcover) by Anonymous

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

Defining good in my life is up to me.

We've heard, "Life is as good as we make it," but this sounds far too simplistic. We look at friends, family, and co-workers and often see much unhappiness. If it's up to us to make life good, why do so few take advantage of the opportunity?

It's not that we don't want happiness. All of us do. But many of us mistakenly think happiness comes from outside ourselves. For example, when other people shower us with love, we're happy. When the boss compliments our work, we're happy. On the other hand, relying on our inner wisdom to tell us we're worthy and believing we are worthy are untapped skills for most of us. Fortunately, we are in the right place to acquire these skills.

Twelve Step programs will teach us, if we are ready to take responsibility for our own happiness. Our program friends are learning how to rely on their inner wisdom and their God, and we are learning from their example.

It's really only a simple change in perspective. It's looking within, not without, for knowledge of our worth. There's no mystery to it. We can do it just as they are doing it.

I will monitor how I evaluate my experiences today. Living peacefully and happily is up to me.

You are reading from the book:

A Life of My Own by Karen Casey

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

The Evolving Relationship

. . . a partner who provided a place to climb.

Once when climbing rocks with friends, a woman reached a place she decided was impossible to move beyond. She wanted to retreat, but her belayer encouraged her to try again. She felt angry and scared, and she was stuck. She fought with the rock, but it was clear that the rock was never going to change. Wanting the rock to be different, to grow new footholds or handholds was futile.

After she vented her feelings, she realized there were only two ways out of her predicament. One way was to quit, and the other was to try again, perhaps with a different mind-set than she had before. Staying with her task in spite of her fear, she began to think of the rock as her friend, as a partner who provided a place to climb. She realized that she did not have to make her friend, the rock, change in order to continue climbing. Her thoughts were more focused, and she was able to make her way up the rock.

Sometimes our partner feels like an immovable rock. It is difficult to stop trying to change our partner and focus on ourselves. When we do, we discover a new direction in our relationship, a new view of our partner, and empowerment for ourselves.

You are reading from the book:

The More We Find In Each Other by Merle Fossum and Mavis Fossum

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

I must change

Spirit of the Universe, I pray to remember,
No one can make me change.
No one can stop me from changing.
No one really knows how I must change,
Not even I. Not until I start.
Help me remember that it only takes a slight shift
In direction to begin to change my life.

You are reading from the book:

The 12 Step Prayer Book Volume 2 by Bill P. and Lisa D.

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

Taking it easy

Easy does it. Pushing does not help our program; it only causes more pressure within us. "If it doesn't work," we have thought, "get a bigger hammer." But if we only wait for the opportunity, we will be given the opportunity to work out each of our difficulties.

It is better to work out a problem by taking two steps forward and one step back, rather than to push and try to solve it at once, fail, and then stop trying. It helps to remember that we are never given more than we can handle, one day at a time.

Have I learned to take it easy?

Higher Power, I depend on You for my very breath. Help me realize that the more I depend on You, the more I accept Your help, the more I can handle.

You are reading from the book:

Day by Day - Second Edition by Anonymous

dmrose82 · Newbie

Hi Pythopappy,

I have been enjoying and soaking up the readings you put in this chat room. I am in Italy for the first time. At home Chicago, I normally go to 2 meetings a week. I have been here for

7 days and have not gone to a meeting. There were two I planned to attend but could not get up early enough to make it. I've been having my quiet time and praying. but I did notice that I'm a little crabby and lonely. So I thought I would try meetings on line. There is one tonite. and tuesday niteI have been sober for 36 years but never did online chat for AA. for some time I use A chat room for HCV survivors. It really helped. I went through treatment and am now cured. I thank God everyday for my sobriety and being cured from HCV everyday. This chat room has helped my spirits. I had a little trouble figuring out how to join. I even got a msg that I was kicked out of it but here I am. Thank God and Thank you.

Donna smile

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

Hi Donna, ...

It does my heart good and brings me great joy to receive messages such as yours ... Congrats on your 36 years sober and now being HCV negative ... (HCV can easily develop into liver cancer as you well know) ... I finished cancer treatment about a year ago ... so far, so good ... 3rd time is a charm they say ...

I had an extremely hard time getting and staying sober ... now I have 10 and 1/2 years ... (I really should be dead.)(But God had different plans for me, LOL) ... This web site helped me tremendously, but activity has declined in the last year or so ... I still try to add helpful comments and tips when I can ... and if my posts have helped or inspired you, then its all been worth it ... we all stay sober by actively helping each other ...

Love you and God Bless,
Pappy

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

Argue not concerning God.
--Walt Whitman

Newcomer

It's obvious from what I hear people saying in meetings that God is a pretty important part of Twelve Step programs. What if I don't believe in God or a Higher Power?

Sponsor

We don't need religion in order to recover. The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop using our preferred addictive substance or behavior. To recover, we have to put down what we're addicted to, and we have to come to meetings. Not easy, perhaps, but simple and clear.

Whether or not we believe in God, most of us recognize that we don't live entirely independently. The phrase "a power greater than ourselves," from Step Two, is a reminder to me that I don't run the universe. Whatever I believe about God's existence, I have to accept that I myself am not God - if I'm going to recover. I can't control my addiction on my own. Willpower stopped working for me some time ago; I owe this newfound willingness to recover to someone or something that isn't my intellect or will.

Those who reject traditional concepts of God can still point to something inside - what some call their "better self," their "sense of right and wrong," their "higher self," or their "spirit" - that got them here. The desire for wholeness has somehow proved stronger than the impulse toward self-destruction.

Today, I accept that I'm not all-powerful.

You are reading from the book:

If You Want What We Have by Joan Larkin

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

The fragrance always stays in the hand that gives the rose.
--Hada Bejar

Nothing is more attractive than sharing with others. No trait will be admired as much as generosity. There is no surer way to gain the respect of friends and neighbors than to show by what we give that we care about others.

We can give many things besides money, shelter, clothing, or food to those in need. We can give the rich person love and understanding that money can't buy. We can sympathize with those who are troubled, even though they appear wealthier than ourselves. We can share experience, strength, and hope with those who are ill or unhappy. We can even share our suffering with others who suffer, and hold up a light for them on the road to recovery.

What do I have to give today?

You are reading from the book:

Today's Gift by Anonymous