I am a professional, a wife, a mother, and an extremely high functioning alcoholic. My story is probably no different than most others. My alcoholism is well hidden - to a certain extent. Most (not all) people have no idea and honestly, there is a part of me that gets a strange feeling of "accomplishment" when I feel like I have actually pulled this off. I do not quite understand why I would even be proud of this - I am not proud at all.
Alcohol makes me feel normal. I feel like I can hold a conversation without overanaylzing every word that comes out of my mouth. I feel motivated to complete tasks. I do not focus on what everyone thinks of me when I am drinking. I am a really nice alcoholic.
I would like to start the online meetings but I do not know the link if someone can help me with that
Welcome tlb ... there are some 'on-line' meetings available ... Tanin, one of our members here, has posted some links to these ... I'm sure he'll see your post and then re-post these links ...
Pappy
__________________
'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
One thing is for sure with us alcoholics. At one time or another we all hid our drinking from loved ones or our occupation so I think we can all relate.
Something tells me aa wouldn't and couldn't of helped millions of drunks if it started as an online thing. There is an element of utmost importance that comes from sitting shoulder to shoulder with people having the same struggle. You can't get that element online. Internet meetings in my opinion, are for those that already have an established sobriety -to help point people like you in the right direction.
((((Lynn)))) glad you stopped by and shared parts of my story also. It took me years to pull the covers from over my eyes and then make the effort and commitment to "get in and sit in and listen in and then practice" what I was hearing this fellowship offer me with compassion and love. I had my justifications and excuses and personal beliefs which continued to help the disease destroy my mind, body, spirit and emotions. I knew nothing about alcoholism...couldn't spell it and barely say it. People got drunk and I did also...time and again and that was just it.
I started at acceptance and then got the keys to my station wagon and went complacently to my first meeting after so many meetings I didn't want to be at and so many alcoholics and addicts I had no compassion or understanding for. I let go. I Let God. I followed the suggestions of the program after a long time of fighting it and threatening others to "get out of my way and face". Alcohol made me angry...AA never did and I have to "go figure".
Keep coming back. The online meetings kept me insulated and the rooms gave me love. (((((Hugs)))))
My opinion, FWIW. Online meetings are OK for supplemental involvement. Nothing beats face to face contact. Nobody online ever looked me in the eye and saw past my words to keep me honest. I see it in meetings all the time where someone asks "How you doin'", and the reply, "Fine", and then the discussion..."Your mouth said 'Fine', your eyes are saying something else. Want to talk about it?"
Nothing like getting called out by someone who cares enough to keep you honest.
I just got here myself, I'm also a high functioning Alcoholic. Today is my 3rd Day.. complete day of not drinking. Best of Luck to you!, reach out whenever you want.
Just wanted to echo ThereIsOne's post ... expressions are a 'telling' sign ... especially the eyes ... and the ONLY way to succeed in the program in my honest opinion, is live meetings with a good sponsor ... period ,,,
Love ya'll and God Bless, Pappy
__________________
'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'