One of the things we get in recovery is a "spiritual toolkit" that contains new ways of thinking about and dealing with life. Before recovery so many situations and people used to baffle me, and I was ill prepared to deal with them and the emotions they brought up in me. My lack of coping skills was fully revealed once I put down my old solutions of a drink or a drug.
The good news is that the 12 steps provide me with all the tools I need to deal with life on life's terms. One of my favorites is "HALT." I was taught early on that if I was feeling anxious, worried, angry or out of sorts in anyway then there was a good chance I hadn't taken care of myself. I was to "HALT" and ask myself: "Am I Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired?" If so, then it was my job to stop and attend to these first.
What a wonderful tool this has been for me. I have learned that it is my job (and within my power) to take care of myself, and I have learned how to self soothe. And once I am feeling centered, then the outside stuff is much easier to sort through and deal with. It's amazing how often I rely on my spiritual toolkit today, and how it's become second nature to HALT when something is bothering me. Today my solutions start on the inside and work their way out.