Today's Gift - June

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

Today's Gift - June

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

Life has lessons to teach. We can remember them and share them with others, or we can forget them and have to learn them again.
--Jan Pishok

What we are destined to learn in this life will keep presenting itself until "contact" has been made. Each experience is a minute part of the big picture that's unfolding. We will receive the information we need, again and again if necessary. Let's give up our fear about where we are going and how we'll get there. We are in caring, capable hands. We will get to the right destination on time.

In this program we are invited to share with others what our experiences have taught us. What better way to recall, and thus relearn, what we have been taught, than to tell another about it. Every Twelve Step program is specifically designed to simplify our lives. The Steps coach us through every situation, and they never shame us for needing reminders of our lessons.

I will help others through sharing my own experiences today. In the process, I'll recapture the essence of the lessons I have learned.

You are reading from the book:

A Woman's Spirit by Karen Casey

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

The future you shall know when it has come; before then, forget it.
-- Aeschylus

The Fellowship keeps us grounded in the current moment. We learn to live today. Our planning and scheming and dreaming about tomorrow becomes less time consuming. The idea of living one day at a time makes sense to us. Our Program teaches us that life is not about to happen, it is happening, and each moment is important.

When we concentrated only on the future, we couldn't be happy with today. We thought if we could only get to tomorrow, things would be better. Tomorrow never comes, so we were always trapped in a hopeless situation. Now we live one day at a time, and grow moment by moment.

Recovery is about today and living life in the present. Since I no longer have to manage the universe, I have only myself to worry about today. I can let my Higher Power take care of tomorrow.

You are reading from the book:

Easy Does It by Anonymous

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

Should you shield the valleys from the windstorms, you would never see the beauty of their canyons.
--Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

Time teaches us about the twofold connection of suffering and wisdom. For every loss, we've gained something new. We are learning that our pain makes us wise over time, but while we are in its midst we often feel alone and entrapped. We sometimes can make no sense out of our suffering - neither its depth nor its seeming unfairness - and we may even turn our backs on our Higher Power. We've only survived the darkness by stumbling through it each day. But in recovery we have gradually allowed ourselves to accept comfort from others, and their words help us in times of desolation.

We are learning that some pains can't be healed, but instead must be endured until they run their course. Sometimes the only hope we have is the deep knowledge that our Higher Power will give us no more than we can handle today. With that help and comfort, we can endure and find peace.

Today let me trust that - even though it may feel painful - my recovery has begun.

You are reading from the book:

Body, Mind, and Spirit by Anonymous

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a stroke of good luck.
--H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

Managing desires is one of the most crucial elements of being an adult. Children want many things that aren't good for them, and their impulses can often get them into trouble. They need loving, caring adults to protect them from the harm that can come from getting what they want. As adults, our spiritual development includes learning how to regard our desires and how to manage them. On the one hand, it isn't healthy to become so controlled and repressed that we never let ourselves have fun, and on the other hand, we know that indulging every desire will kill us.

Sometimes we want something very badly and when we don't get it, we feel desperate or very disappointed. However, life continuously points us in directions we hadn't expected. Disappointment can serve to reset our lives. Not getting our desires, if we keep our eyes open, points us in directions that can be better than what we had imagined for ourselves.

Today I will be open to the new directions that life points me toward.

You are reading from the book:

Wisdom to Know by Anonymous

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

I always have two lists: things I'm happy about and things I'm not. It's my choice which list I focus on.
--Anne Arthur

Why do we all too eagerly see the glass as half empty rather than as half full? It need not be a habit that we are stuck with forever. All of us feel helpless at times to change our vision of life. Discouragement and self-pity become comfortable, and we fear that discarding them will leave us vulnerable.

Seeing the glass as half empty is a sign that our attitude is holding us back. Unfortunately, a bad attitude is seductive. It's as though we find pleasure, perverse though it may be, in feeling sorry for ourselves. Sometimes we even imagine staying in that place forever. It's then that we need the warmth of loving friends, and it's no accident that we are surrounded by them in this fellowship.

We may, at first, try to ignore those reaching toward us, but we will soon feel their presence. We can thank God for the inspiration to adjust our attitude.

If I reach out lovingly to someone else today, I will not need a nudge from my Higher Power to adjust my attitude.

You are reading from the book:

A Woman's Spirit by Karen Casey

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

We are all travelers in the wilderness of this world and the best that we can find in our travels is an honest friend.
--Robert Louis Stevenson

Addiction destroyed many of our relationships. It took away our ability to get close to others. The above quotation reminds us that real friends are more important than the people we hung around with while using alcohol or drugs.

Recovery is all about bettering our relationships. Our lives depend upon this. We find honest friends in recovery. We are not alone anymore. We are honest with each other about character defects and work to help each other have better, ever-closer relationships. Our lives also depend upon this. We work to help each other find a way out of the wilderness or at times just survive in the wilderness. Over time, we see that, even though people can be a pain at times, friendships and relationships are the best things in life.

Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, teach me how to be a good, honest friend. Comfort me as I travel in the wilderness of life.

Todays Action

Today I will think about what makes a good friend. Then I will do an honest inventory of what type of friend I am. Am I there for others in the bad times as well as the good times?

You are reading from the book:

God Grant Me... by Anonymous

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

I never realized how often I used the words "just" and "only."
--Mary Pat K.

Adult children [of alcoholics] often live within a framework of shame. One symptom of this is we minimize our achievements, feelings, needs, or opinions. Behind that is our feeling that we aren't and can't do anything special. So it figures we would find a way to discount whatever we do.

Two words we use frequently are "just" and "only." We say things like, "Our house has only two bedrooms" or "I only got a red ribbon at the state fair, and my tomatoes didn't place" or "I'll just eat these leftovers for dinner, and you can have the steak." These are ways of saying, "I don't count."

But, of course, we do count. How freeing it is to grow to the place where we say, "I've only entered the state fair once and I won a ribbon. I'm proud of myself." Or, "No, I don't want the leftovers either. Let's share the steak."

We give strength to minimizing attitudes when we use minimizing words. We deserve better.

Today, I will not minimize my achievements or needs. I will give someone an honest opinion about an issue that matters to me.

You are reading from the book:

Days of Healing, Days of Joy by Earnie Larsen and Carol Larsen Hegarty

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

That's what happens when you're angry at people. You make them part of your life.
--Garrison Keillor

Our problems with anger and our problems in relationships go hand in hand. Some of us have held back our anger, which led to resentment of our loved ones. Some of us have indulged our anger and become abusive. Some of us have been so frightened of anger that we closed off the dialogue in our relationships when angry feelings came out.

Some of us have wasted our energy by focusing anger on people who weren't really important to us. Do we truly want them to become so important? Yet, perhaps the important relationships got frozen because we weren't open and respectful with our anger. It isn't possible to be close to someone without being angry at times. We let our loved ones be part of our lives by feeling our anger when it is there and expressing it openly, directly, and respectfully to them - or by hearing them when they are angry. Then, with dialogue, we can let it go.

I will be aware of those people I am making important in my life and will grow in dealing with my anger.

You are reading from the book:

Touchstones by Anonymous

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

Slipping

A common rationalization about not making the program goes like this, "Harry over there slipped ten times before he made it. So what if I slip a few times?"

What is overlooked is that the last time Jack slipped, he slipped into a coffin; the last time Bob slipped, his baby son burned to death in a crib because of Bob's negligence; the last time Ann slipped, she got strychnine poisoning and became blind; and the last time Jim slipped, he tried to kill his wife and nearly did.

We're not playing games here. This is a matter of life and death.

Have I stopped slipping?

Higher Power, let me know that it is not only my life but the lives of others that I endanger by playing loaded games.

You are reading from the book:

Day by Day - Second Edition by Anonymous

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

Whoever is happy will make others happy, too.
--Anne Frank

Anne Frank had good reason to be unhappy, full of fear, and deeply discouraged. Years of her life were spent in a small apartment hiding from the Nazis who wanted to destroy her and her family.

Yet even in this little hiding place she had happiness. It was something she had inside which did not depend on what happened around her. She had riches of the heart. She had faith that kept her going. She had love and concern for her family and others, which made even a restricted life very rich with feelings. It is tempting to believe that we will be happy when we have something outside ourselves, which will make us happy. But happiness is not something we have to find outside; the seeds are in our hearts already.

What happiness can I find in my latest setback?

You are reading from the book:

Today's Gift by Anonymous

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

Let go of resentments

Resentments are sneaky, tricky little things. They can convince us they're justified. They can dry up our hearts. They can sabotage our happiness. They can sabotage love.

Most of us have been at the receiving end of an injustice at some time in our lives. Most of us know someone who's complained of an injustice we've done to him or her. Life can be a breeding ground for resentments, if we let it.

"Yes, but this time I really was wronged," we complain.

Maybe you were. But harboring resentment isn't the solution. If it were, our resentment list would resemble the Los Angeles telephone directory. Deal with your feelings. Learn whatever lesson is at hand. Then let the feelings go.

Resentments are a coping behavior, a tool of someone settling for survival in life. They're a form or revenge. The problem is, no matter whom we're resenting, the anger is ultimately directed against ourselves.

Take a moment. Search your heart. Have you tricked yourself into harboring resentment? If you have, take another moment and let that resentment go.

God, grant me the serenity that acceptance brings.

You are reading from the book:

More Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

God is not a cosmic bellboy.
--Harry Emerson Fosdick

We have to laugh when we look back at the times we treated God like our servant. Who did we think we were, ordering God to do something for us? But we got away with it. God even did some of the things we asked.

Now we know that our Higher Power is not a servant. As we work the Steps, we know we don't give orders to our Higher Power. We don't expect God to work miracles every time we'd like one. We're asking our Higher Power to lead us. After all, who knows what is best for us - our Higher Power or us?

Our Higher Power has many wonderful gifts for us. Our Higher Power will show us goals, help us live in love and joy, and give us strength.

Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, show me ways to help others as You've helped me. I'm grateful that You love me and help me.

Action for the Day

Today, I'll make a list of times my Higher Power has helped me out of trouble.

You are reading from the book:

Keep It Simple by Anonymous

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

There is no love apart from the deeds of love; no potentiality of love but that which is manifested in loving.
--Jean-Paul Sartre

Newcomer

Sometimes I wonder if I can give or receive love. When I think about my past in active addiction, there was passion and drama, but not a lot of love. There hasn't been much of it in my recovery so far either.

Sponsor

What exactly are we talking about when we talk about love? Many of us - and this was certainly true of me - have used this word primarily to describe a fantasy. We imagined that somewhere there was an ideal person who could meet all our needs and make us whole. Love meant rescue or a problem-free relationship. When we didn't find it, we bewailed our loneliness and bad luck.

Love is not something that is bestowed on us. We can create it, everyday. It grows in each of us as we take actions that affirm our respect and caring for others and ourselves. Love is not limited to romantic encounters, but extends to our daily relationships with other people, including our friends and members of our communities. Love is not in scarce supply. Our acts of kindness and service and our practice of genuine tolerance renew love in the world and in our hearts.

Today, I add to the abundance of many kinds of love in my life.

You are reading from the book:

If You Want What We Have by Joan Larkin

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

Self-interest is but the survival of the animal in us. Humanity only begins for man with self-surrender.
--Henri Amiel

When we were lost in our addictive ways, we were driven by self-interest. We didn't necessarily like ourselves or want to be so self-centered. But we had no inner resources to help us escape the trap of our egos. When we were there, we could not see outside ourselves well enough to ask for help. Surrender, we thought, brought only defeat and humiliation.

The inspiration of this program brings us possibilities that cannot originate from within. When we surrender, we are no longer captives within our skins. We are actually restored to a more natural state as people in community with others, who literally cannot survive as isolated individuals. We must be a part of the give and take within the group, just as it has been for human beings since the beginning of time.

Today, I surrender my self-interest again, knowing I must do it over and over.

You are reading from the book:

Touchstones by Anonymous

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

Despair is the absolute extreme of self-love. It is reached when a man deliberately turns his back on all help from anyone else in order to taste the rotten luxury of knowing himself to be lost.
--Thomas Merton

The surest way to unhappiness is to concentrate only on ourselves. Nothing will bring on despair quicker than thinking only of our own concerns. Extreme self-centeredness brings alienation from God, from our friends, and loved ones.

The surest remedy is to pray, not for our own comfort, but for God to bless someone else. If self-centeredness is contributing to our unhappiness, focusing some attention on others is the way out. We always get help for the blues by offering a hand to another or accepting a hand ourselves.

I can avoid despair by looking beyond myself.

You are reading from the book:

In God's Care by Karen Casey

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

The best place to find a helping hand is at the end of your own arm.
--Swedish proverb

During our illness, we hurt others. We hurt ourselves. We messed up a lot. So, a lot of us come into recovery not trusting ourselves very much. The truth is, as addicts, we couldn't be trusted.

But in recovery, we can be trusted again. We can again live and love ourselves. We do this by finding our spiritual center. This is the place inside of us where our Higher Power lives. We turn our will and our lives over to this spiritual center. We do as our spiritual center tells us. And from our spiritual center, we'll find our values. We'll live better lives. We'll come to trust ourselves again.

Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, thank you for helping me believe in myself again. I'll treat myself with love and kindness. I know You want me to.

Action for the Day

Today, I'll list four ways I couldn't be trusted during my addiction. I'll also list four ways I can now be trusted.

You are reading from the book:

Keep It Simple by Anonymous

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

Forgiveness is all-powerful. Forgiveness heals all ills.
--Catherine Ponder

Getting mad at someone, a friend perhaps, is normal. Everybody gets mad sometimes. But when we stay mad for very long, it ruins all the fun we'd planned on having throughout the day. Staying mad multiplies. Sometimes it seems we are mad at the dog, our mom, another friend, even the TV.

Forgiving the people we're mad at works like magic. We don't even have to forgive them out loud. We can forgive them in our own minds. The result is the same. Pretty soon the whole day looks bright again. When we're mad, we are the ones who suffer most.

Who can I forgive today, and make my day a better one?

You are reading from the book:

Today's Gift by Anonymous

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

Baseball teaches us, or has taught most of us, how to deal with failure. We learn at a very young age that failure is the norm in baseball and ... errors [are] part of the game, part of its rigorous truth.
--Francis T. Vincent, Jr.

Of course we will make mistakes. We are born with the right to make mistakes. There is no shame in that. Perfection is a false ideal for a real human being. We learn by trial and error. If we try to be perfect, we will meet dead ends and roadblocks because we will inevitably fall short.

Instead, there is wisdom in the motto "Keep coming back." In this instance, the motto refers to returning to our standards. Rather than to strive constantly for higher and higher perfection, our goal is to always return to the rules we live by. Of course we will veer off the path. When we do, we make repairs, pay our dues, and hold our place as full-fledged members of the human race.

Today my goal is to keep returning to my ethics for a good life.

You are reading from the book:

Wisdom to Know by Anonymous

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

I walked a mile with Sorrow,
And never a word said she;
But, Oh, the things I learned from her
When Sorrow walked with me!
-- Robert Browning Hamilton

We may think that forgetting the past is essential for growth and peace of mind. It's a tempting idea: we'll start over again, we think, fresh and new. But if we lose that old pain, we'll also lose all that we learned. We may repeat our mistakes, or make even worse ones next time. Dwelling on the past is equally dangerous. We began recovery to build a better life.

To find and maintain our balance, each area of our lives needs attention. A healthy mind in a healthy body is free to find God. And, with God's help, we can learn to recognize and forgive our past mistakes, while we keep the remarkable lessons we learned from life.

With our remembering, with our inventory, we can truly experience the repentance that frees us from regret and remorse. When we acknowledge our mistakes, we can learn from them and come to forgive ourselves.

Today help me use my memories to learn and change. Help me to forgive my past.

You are reading from the book:

Body, Mind, and Spirit by Anonymous

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

You are the artist in your life

You create the images and colors on the canvas called your life. Are you creating the picture you want? Does your canvas convey a life of fulfillment and growth? Or does your canvas convey chaos and despair?

You are the artist; God is your co-creator. Together all things are possible. But when we mistakenly believe that other people control our destiny, we end up feeling bitter and hopeless. In truth, we're in partnership with a Higher Power, or whatever you choose to call it. I call that power God. We make the initial decisions; God carries out our plans. God could not render our lives what they are without our assistance. We are the artists, and ultimately we call the shots.

I invite you to consider a different perspective. This may not be easy to swallow if you are a struggling single parent, someone who has just lost a job, or someone facing other tough circumstances. You're invited to first see whether you played a part in where you are. And the best news you can give yourself is to say yes, because if you played even a small part, there is something you can do to change that canvas of your life. But if you played no part whatsoever, then you may be waiting forever for someone to change the course of your life. And that could be a very long wait.

You're invited to be your artist. And you have at your fingertips all the necessary tools to turn your canvas into a masterpiece.

You are reading from the book:

52 Weeks of Esteemable Acts by Francine Ward

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

Expectations

Higher Power, help me stop expecting so much from myself.

I set unrealistic standards, and when they are not met, unhappiness follows.

Help me be true to myself and only expect what I am capable of doing. As I grow in recovery and do my assignments every day, I am able to do more.

Your will provides realistic goals. Your will provides what I need to succeed.

You are reading from the book:

The 12 Step Prayer Book Volume 2 by Bill P. and Lisa D.

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

I believe that everyone needs a mentor.
--Harry Bartholomew

We have all had mentors - many of them, in fact. We might not have labeled them as such, but throughout our lives we have been picking up ideas and mannerisms from many people. From some, we sought to learn specific skills, perhaps on the job or while in school. A few inadvertently became our mentors simply because of our proximity to them. Along the way, we may have chosen some mentors impulsively and to our detriment. The process of mentoring is how most of us learn, ultimately. Have we forgotten that we, too, have served as mentors for many others who have shared our journey?

We obviously are not through living yet. Thus we are not through mentoring either. Every encounter we have with someone is mentoring in action. One moment we're on the learning end; the next, perhaps we're acting as teacher. Mentoring has always been a two-way street.

We have never been able to control another's mentoring, but we have always been free to choose or refuse to follow his or her example. What we can control, and this has always been true, is the content of our own mentoring. Are we satisfied that we've done our best?

Today I'll remember that my role as mentor isn't over yet.

You are reading from the book:

Keepers of the Wisdom by Karen Casey

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

I feel best about having helped others believe in themselves.
--Bud Sherman

Encouragement is one of the greatest gifts we can give one another. Chances are we can all remember someone who encouraged us many years ago. Perhaps a teacher or an employer took a special interest in us, and we have never forgotten that person. It's likely we are remembered in much the same way by someone else, too. It's nice to savor these memories, isn't it?

There is nothing stopping us from continuing to make memories for others. We will experience people and situations today that will benefit if we pass on encouragement and praise. We will benefit as well. It feels good to acknowledge another's contributions to the world. It strengthens our own willingness to contribute.

No conversation is without purpose. Even those exchanges that seem meaningless offer us opportunities for bettering someone else's opinion of themselves. What greater offerings have we to make than to be loving and helpful to someone traveling this path with us? If we haven't given much attention to this part of our assignment before, let's begin now. The homework will make all of us feel much better.

A few words of encouragement to another is all that's asked of me today. I can handle that.

You are reading from the book:

Keepers of the Wisdom by Karen Casey

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

Taking an honest look at ourselves is necessary if we want peace.

Step Four asks us to admit our character defects. That's not an easy assignment. How "defective" could we be? In truth, we do have many assets, and it will help us to admit our defects if we also own our assets.

The founders of the Twelve Steps were wise men who understood the value of self-assessment. None of us is without problems, many of which we cause ourselves because of behavior we need to change. But until we can stand back from ourselves and see our part in our troubles, we'll not have the data we need to make a change in our lives. This program is designed to help us change. Its goal for us is greater peace, but we must do our part.

I will feel better today, and thus more peaceful, if I am willing to change a behavior that causes me trouble. I pray for willingness to admit my defects and own my assets.

You are reading from the book:

A Life of My Own by Karen Casey

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

Be careful with amends.

Hurting someone thoughtlessly just to lift our own guilt is not a proper Step Nine. Amends are for rebuilding the burned bridges in our lives. But if amends will hurt someone, we must decide if it's in that person's best interest to be told now. Oftentimes it's best left unsaid, but never denied to ourselves or to God.

Changing our behavior intentionally is one part of making amends, particularly to family members who may have heard us say "I'm sorry" far too many times. Repaying money, repairing damages, and making charitable contributions on behalf of the person we have harmed are all honest attempts to right our wrong. The point in every amends attempt is to take responsibility for what we did and express our regrets. Couple this with changed behavior, and our relationships will improve immediately.

I will not shy away from any amends I need to make today, but I'll be careful not to hurt someone with information he or she doesn't need to know.

You are reading from the book:

A Life of My Own by Karen Casey

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

Overachieving may be symptomatic.

Suffering from low self-esteem is common. Some of it may be blamed on growing up in families affected by alcohol or other drugs. Perhaps the criticism heaped on us at school or in a bad marriage triggered it. We may have thousands of reasons for lacking a sense of our worth. The bottom line is, we were insecure and full of doubt - good breeding ground for the superstar achiever.

The program is spiritually based, and in it we are introduced to a Higher Power. Many of us didn't have a Higher Power before, at least not one we relied on, to help us feel better about ourselves. We are learning to turn to our Higher Power every day for peaceful assurance that we are loved, that we are being taken care of. In time we'll grow to love ourselves, and then we'll be free of the need to overachieve.

I will accept my worthiness today and trust that my Higher Power has something wonderful in store for me.

You are reading from the book:

A Life of My Own by Karen Casey

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

The most important move is to begin.

We begin weaving by stringing vertical threads on a loom to form the foundation of a new cloth. Then horizontal threads are interlaced back and forth, and we create a fabric. As the cloth begins to form, new possibilities open before us. After we weave in the first color we can then envision other colors that will work with it. The most important move is to begin.

Sometimes new possibilities occur to us only through action. If we take the risk of the first step and keep our eyes open, we will see the next step. Too much planning, too much carefulness and analysis, may block all action.

With our partner we might sometimes feel stuck in a pattern. We may even feel hopeless. Rather than thinking excessively, we could take action, do one thing that we know people in good relationships do. We might be able to take the risk of that first step with the help of our Higher Power. When we take one hopeful step at a time, each step produces information that leads to the next.

Name one interesting thing you can do today. You need not justify it or understand where it will lead. Just try it.

You are reading from the book:

The More We Find In Each Other by Merle Fossum and Mavis Fossum