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Post Info TOPIC: Irritating friends who mean well


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Irritating friends who mean well
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Iāve been sober for almost 2 months now. I very seldom have cravings anymore. Iām going to 5 or 6 meetings per week. Well intentioned friends keep asking me everyday if Iām still sober and itās starting to really tick me off. Makes me think that they only see me as a ābroken drunkā who needs looked after. Iām trying to enjoy my sobriety and I would prefer to be defined by more than just my alcoholism. Any thoughts from some of you old timers out there?

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2 months is not enough time to be seen as a beacon of light.

Since you attend so many meetings you have heard "We are not saints". A lot of alcoholics are closet perfectionists. I get it, it's hard to completely surrender and just take ass whippings but if this is your biggest concern at 2 months, I'd say you are doing excellent. 



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MIP Old Timer

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First off, ... it's good you still have friends ... when I stopped, no one really cared ... well, except the wife ... I was a big asshole when I drank and had few friends ...

I'd say as long as your 'well-meaning' friends aren't trying to get you to drink, just swallow your pride and go on ... this too shall pass, as my sponsor always said ...

You're do'n great and I wouldn't let something this trivial stop me from working the program ... my most precious possession at that point in my recovery was my sobriety ... and once I got rolling, I wouldn't let anything nor anyone mess that up ... if you don't feel that way now and you stay sober, then you will feel that way soon enough if you stick with it ...



God Bless,
Pappy



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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'



MIP Old Timer

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Welcome to the forum, SP.

Yer doing good so far. Keep up the good work, especially the meetings.

Regarding your friends, maybe cut them some slack. They are, after all, "well intentioned."



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Thanks all, especially visionz (the blunter the better).

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Don't worry, if you continue to attend meetings and stay sober, they'll stop asking. If they're friends and knew the way you drank, they're probably quite amazed that you stopped drinking. I have found that people just don't understand what AA or even alcoholism is all about. I had a very close friend of mine ask me recently if in the 11 years I've been sober "you haven't even had one drink? not one? I couldn't imagine" Like I could just go out and have a drink or two and then return to my sobriety...They don't get it. I never had one drink in my life.

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After a while they stop asking because my sobriety became old hat and only my pride would allow me to be upset by it however when someone asks it is an opportunity to give back to the program and tell they what it was like, what happened and what it is like now...share your miracle.  Often those who asks you about it are showing that they are caring people.  What a gift.  Keep coming back and earn another day.  wink



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MIP Old Timer

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Jerry, ... Hope you're not getting 'hot' feet over there on the Island ... is the Volcano any problem for you??? ...



Love ya and God Bless,
Pappy



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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'



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I had a similar situation when I first stopped my friends thought I was on the wagon as opposed to finally surrendering to alcohol , it kicked my ass. I would occasionally stop for a couple weeks or months and tell people I was on the wagon. I knew I was going to drink again because of my denial of my problem.My drinking friends are still my friends , but I feel they wish I still drank , it's the old misery loves company cliche. So just be honest with them and they will eventually stop asking.


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Bunchie


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It's great to see you post Bunchie ... great share ...


Pappy



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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'



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Still plugging wrote:

Iāve been sober for almost 2 months now. I very seldom have cravings anymore. Iām going to 5 or 6 meetings per week. Well intentioned friends keep asking me everyday if Iām still sober and itās starting to really tick me off. Makes me think that they only see me as a ābroken drunkā who needs looked after. Iām trying to enjoy my sobriety and I would prefer to be defined by more than just my alcoholism. Any thoughts from some of you old timers out there?


 Withdrawal lasts from 3 to 12 months; Bill's withdrawal lasted 18 months. Your brain and CNS  have been damaged and need time to heal. So things are going to irritate you more at times but the more peaceful periods will last longer and longer until you're out of the woods. BTW, don't confuse the Pink Cloud for being finished with withdrawal.

Keep your Temp Sponsor posted.  

Doug



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Gene


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Time takes time.  Things I Must Earn.  2 months hasn't built a history that will outdo the years of drinking that your friends have seen.  Took me years, and by then I didn't care what anyone thought (or what I thought anyone thought).   As has been said, be happy you have friends that care enough to ask.



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I want what they had...I'll do what they did.
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