Hi. Im over 6 years clean and sober but I still hate being around alcohol, especially wine. Restaurants, parties, dinner events still give me a ton of anxiety. My husband and I used to enjoy good wine and when people start raising their glasses of some amazing wine, I get very uncomfortable and want to run away.
I isolated myself for a long time as I adjusted to sober life and lots of friends fell away when I no longer drank. Thats ok. But Im tired of feeling uncomfportable around alcohol.
Anyone else experience this?
-- Edited by NanB on Thursday 19th of April 2018 08:05:57 AM
-- Edited by NanB on Thursday 19th of April 2018 08:07:21 AM
-- Edited by NanB on Thursday 19th of April 2018 08:07:42 AM
This is a normal feeling for recovering alcoholics ... ... ... it bothers some more than others ... I've found that a strong spiritual connection to my Higher Power helps more than anything else ... if I let up on my daily prayers, or allow myself to drift away from the program that got me sober, then I start feeling anxiety and fear ... the stronger my 'conscious contact' with my HP, the less other things bother me ...
Maybe rereading the BB will make you feel better and more comfortable in your own skin ...
Congrats on 6 years, well done ...
Love ya and God Bless, Pappy
__________________
'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Welcome to the forum, NB. Good to have you aboard.
In my early years, I was somewhat uncomfortable around drinking. But I stayed away from most drinking situations. I changed some habits.
In later years, I am no longer uncomfortable around drinking. But I am still inclined to avoid drinking situations.
I don't reminisce about good times with alcohol. Got no nostalgia for the booze. I still occasionally recall a drunken disaster when somehow reminded of it.
As a recovered alcoholic, my experience is much the same as Tanin's. I don't tbink about drinking, I don't have a problem being around people that drink, though I wouldn't spend my time with drunks. Your sobriety sounds like it is quite fear based. This sometimes happens where a person tries to use meetings as a kind of reminder of what drinking was like to keep themselves sober.
Having a spiritual experience as the result of the steps, and coninuing to work with others often brings about a different perspective. In my case a realisation that I lost the power of choice in alcohol, and never got it back. Instead the problem was removed and I was placed in a position of neutrality, ambivalent about alcohol. Sobriety became my natural sate, worthwhile and rewarding. The attractiveness of this new way of life has been far more effective in keeping me sober than fear ever was.
The circle triangle that AA uses can be a good indicator of how solid one's sobriety really is. It has three sides like three legs of a stool. The first is unity which is the fellowship. Most of us go to meetings so we can tick that one. But it is precarious to try and sit on a one legged stool, and pretty tiring. So we have recovery, the 12 steps. If we are active in this area we have a second leg and our position is improved. The third side or leg is service, working with other aloholics. If we can tick all three sides we have a solid seat so to speak, and it will stay that way for as long as we keep doing what is needed in those three areas.
Take a look at your circle triangle. You may find your answer there.
I agree that it is common with many in recovery, but not in those that have recovered. Page 101 in the big book expresses some experience on this. They didn't seem to feel it was a good thing. "We meet these conditions every day. The alcoholic who cannot meet them still has an alcoholic mind; there is something the matter with his spiritual status..."
I don't go looking for drinking situations, but if I follow the suggestions in the book about checking my reasons for being there, there has never been a problem. For wto year I owned a restaurant and served drinks all the time.
There is another sentiment expressed in the book. " While you were drinking, you were withdrawing from life little by little. Now you are getting back into the social life of this world. Don't start to withdraw again just because your friends drink liquor."..... God will keep you unharmed etc.
Of course I was very nervous about being in a room with people who were drinking in the first 5 years. I also prayed daily for my HP to remove the obsession to drink (and drug) and
it was. Lots and Lots of serious life situations have come and gone and Not Once did I ever think about having a drink to ease the pain or anxiety over the issues. During the process of working the 12 steps, I surrendered to alcohol, I could no longer drink, and I was ok with that. I'm now also ok with the fact that others can drink, and a great many can have one or two and not think about even finishing the second, where I would obsess about where the 12-15th were coming from on drink 2. Now I am like someone at a restaurant that doesn't eat pork. Everyone at the table can be enjoying various kinds of pork and I'm having chicken, or salad. It's that simple. I'm not eating the pork and I don't have to think about why or why are they. Obsession is gone.
The prayers worked. ;)
