If you want to be secure, you have to give up the need to be secure."
I have spent so much of my life stressing and worrying about being secure. Ive never felt like Ive had enough money or will have enough. In relationships, my insecurity has ruined many promising starts. Ive laid awake at night worrying about my health wondering the what ifs?. Its no wonder why I drank so much; it was one of the few ways to quiet my mind.
When drinking stopped working for me, I entered recovery. At first, I thought Id get immediate relief from my worry, but with alcohol gone, I just grew more insecure. I overwhelmed my sponsor with all my what ifs?, and he always asked the same thing, Are you alright right now? Yes, but Id begin. Right now, God has led you into recovery and has taken care of everything for you, right? I admitted that was true. Then let Go and let Him take care of you, you suggested.
I never thought it could be that easy, and I still tend to forget it. Today, while I still may not have all the money I want, I have all I need and then some. I have love, health, hope, and long term recovery. As soon as I gave up the need to be secure, I realized I already was secure. Today, I realize that my wants are what keep me from appreciating my haves.
