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Post Info TOPIC: Another Question about an amend I have tried to make


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Another Question about an amend I have tried to make
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Hello Everyone!

I have another question about an amend. Actually I am not sure if it is an amend to be made or not? In previous posts I have written about how immature and irresponsible I was in my high school days (fighting with younger siblings (brother and sister), teachers, losing jobs, poor grades, failing classes, drinking, stormy relations with my parents, borrowing money and not repaying the person, and getting kicked off the senior high school basketball team). So it was the coach of that team, whom I thought I had let down, and now after 40 years would like to contact to say how dumb I was, and what a great coach and guy he was. I no longer live in Canada, but still have friends I keep in touch with via Facebook who live in my hometown. Last September I reached out to one of my older brother's friends, who played with my brother for that coach. I asked him if he had a mail address for Mr. S., and he said he did not, though he sees him from time to time. So I contacted the older brother of one of my teammates from the team. He told me that his brother Bill would certainly have the address. That was last September. I sent a gentle reminder (follow-up) email about 2 months later saying I understand that Mr. S.would probably be shocked or dumbfounded as to why this former player of his, who he has not heard from in 40+ years wants to contact him. Still with no answer, sent a 3rd email to the older brother of my former teammate and saying I guess I can assume that his brother did not think it was a good idea to give me the coach's address, and I said I can understand since I has a "handful" in school. Mr. S. also taught an accounting class which I was in my 2nd last year of high school and I think I ended up with a final grade of 7. So should I just drop the idea? Is there anything more I can do without becoming a pain in the ass?

 

BigZen



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MIP Old Timer

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Hey BigZ, ...

there are times when it just become improbable that a 'connection' will be made ... in this case, I think it's the EFFORT you've made to 'right a wrong' that counts ... and in my humble opinion, I do not see it necessary to pursue the matter ... in your heart, you tried ... that's the most important thing here I think ... (I'd check this one off the list)



Good job and God Bless,
Pappy



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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'



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The amends process of recovery is very important to the spiritual nature of my recovery.  I was by nature also very irresponsible to my part of life while drinking and not.  I just was irresponsible by nature and I learned this in recovery while continuing to come to understanding of the consequences not only with me and also with others.  I did a lot of violent things and put the justifications for them on the personalities of those I hurt.   During the inventory years I also discovered that I left my victims feeling responsible for my actions which left them in pain and confusion.  HP reminded me of one particular incident which was particularly hurtful and could have been fatal which HP told me they were holding themselves responsible for and that I needed to make contact and take responsibility for solely.  I had moved 2600 miles each way over the Pacific and went thru with the amends.  It had also been 22 years past and no matter I would do it.  It took me two trips before it was done involving a father and his son, both who had never lost the thoughts and feelings that somehow they had caused my violent action.  When I contacted the father on the  phone and told him who I was, his response was, "Oh I know exactly who you are".  There was a lot he didn't know yet he agreed to me.  When I contacted his son the son's reaction was "What in the hell did I do to you to deserve what you did to me"?  He also did me and HP the courtesy of meeting and listening.  When it was done they said "never in our lives could we imagine this happening" and then assured me that there was nothing left for me to feel responsible to.  I have no questions about making amends today.  When I can and as I can I do it.

Good luck...let us know the journey.  smile  



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