I was taught to never give in and never give up. To surrender was to lose, and I was to avoid it at all costs. As such, I led with my ego, and thought that I could bully, cajole, or manipulate my way into getting just about anything I wanted. And for the most part it worked until my alcoholism took over. After years of trying to control my drinking, I had reached the bitter end. It was either surrender or die.
In the program, the first thing I heard about was surrender. It was something I was very resistant to. My sponsor told me that if I wanted to recover from my alcoholism, then I would have to surrender my will and my life to a Power greater than myself. When I asked him how in the world I was going to do that, he told me he would show me by helping me work the Twelve Step program. He also told me that I would find that it was the easier and softer way to live. When I asked him what else I had to surrender and how often, he told, me, Everything, all the time.
It has taken me years to see the wisdom in this seemingly impossible statement. But the more I follow it, the better my life goes. When getting sober, I turned my drinking, my career, my relationships, etc., over to my Higher Power, and they all improved. Today, I find that the answer remains the same whenever my ego is pushing and Im feeling anxious, depressed or fearful, I ask myself what I need to surrender. As soon as I let go, the situation gets better, and I discover the easier and softer way to live again.