I used to believe that people, places, or things would fix me. I was sure that if only I could get the perfect girlfriend, or that new car, or make enough money, then I would be happy, or secure, or comfortable. But it never worked. Each time I got it or close enough to it I would once again feel empty and would set my sights on the next thing I was sure was going to make me all right. I used alcohol in this way for years, but it, too, let me down.
As I started working the Steps, I learned about a Higher Power. I was taught that I have a God-shaped hole in me that I was trying to fill with other, outside things. Through prayer and meditation, I experienced glimpses of the peace and serenity I had been looking for, and each time I turned my will and my life over to His care, and then took the next indicated action, my life got better. But there was a catch
The catch was that I constantly defaulted back to my will and my old ideas of what I thought would make me happy. Even after years of recovery and experience, I still get side tracked into thinking that more money, or something else, will finally complete me. And thats when I go back to the source back to my Higher Power. Today, whenever I feel anxious, restless, or unhappy, I ask myself what has become my H.P.? Its easy to figure out, and even easier to turn my will and life back over.
When I do, I am restored to the peace and security I always wanted.
